Yoga as a Long-Term Relationship: How to Keep the Flame Alive Throughout the Changing Seasons of Your Life

A few weeks ago, I was talking with a client and former yoga student about her practice. She explained that back when she came to my classes in DC, her practice was her everything; she didn't do any other physical activities, so when she came to her mat, she was looking for all the things--a workout, relaxation, meditation, a good stretch, and a chance to focus on her breathing.

However, her relationship with her practice has changed a lot in the past year or two because she started running again, an old activity that she had given up after having kids. She told me that now, when she gets on her mat, she isn't looking for her practice to provide her with everything all at once. Instead, she comes for a stretch and a slower, relaxing, meditative flow. She gets her yang + physical fitness from running, she gets her yin + meditation from yoga. 

I, too, have gone through similar transitions over the years since entering a serious relationship with yoga. During some seasons of my life, yoga is all I want to do, can do, or have time for. During those seasons, I want a more active, vigorous practice, and my relationship with my practice reflects that.

During other seasons (now being one of those times), I come to my mat for the softer, gentler side of yoga; less vigor, more nurture. I turn elsewhere for the intense physical movement that I enjoy, and my practice becomes a less challenging but more comforting part of my day.

As all yoga-devotees know (or come to find out in time), one of the great things about yoga is that there are so many kinds of yoga, so many ways to practice, so many aspects of the practice that we can embrace as we grow and our needs change. There will be times in your life when you want your yoga practice to be a sweaty butt-kicking, and other times when all you can handle is restorative yoga or sitting on a meditation cushion and breathing. 

The key, I think, is to be open to these changes and allow them to take place within. It's okay if you've always been a Bikram-lover--if the practice isn't speaking to you right now, your energy might be shifting and that's okay, there are plenty of other types of yoga for you to embrace.

In any solid, lifelong relationship there are ups-and-downs: people grow apart a bit and then come back together stronger than ever, partners explore different interests, try on different roles, and at times, even push one another away. But if you're truly committed, your bond and love for one another will weather the seasons and all kinds of shifts. In fact, when you can grow together and continually meet your partner wherever he or she is, your relationship will grow stronger with every year. 

So it is with yoga. {At least in my experience.}

Sure, there are times when I feel like I'm "cheating" on yoga (for instance, yesterday morning when I really need a 'workout' and chose a Barre class over a yoga class), but when I take a closer look at that feeling, I know that there's nothing to worry about; I will always come back to my practice and I'm no less of a yogi because I chose to use my time doing something else one day, or during one season of my life. 

Thus, all of that being said, here's my final thought on how to keep the yoga flame alive no matter what you're going through: remember that your practice doesn't need to be your everything. It can be, and at times you might need it to be (or want it to be!), but in the long-term, making your practice just one aspect of a balanced, fulfilling life is a much healthier way to approach this relationship and keep it strong. {I think this advice applies to any sort of relationship, actually...}

Oh, and if you're looking for a relationship where the phrase "its' not you, it's me" is actually true, then here you go ;)