Why I'm Striving to Enjoy the Glory Days of My Marriage

Over the past 2.5 months, I've spent 23 days traveling, or 23 days away from home. 

During 8 of the remaining days that I have been in town, we've had guests visiting. And when I've been in town and we haven't had guests visiting, I've been playing catch-up on my work, pulling 10-12 hour days to make-up for the time that I was away and wasn't working. 

On the occasional weekend day when I've been in town and we've had no guests, Ben and I have felt the extra pressure that comes with living in a seasonal community--there have been more events and family gatherings to attend, we've had work to do in our yard (our first experience with this responsibility), and we've tried to find time to get outside and actually enjoy the beach and this gorgeous place where we are lucky enough to live.

So, as you might imagine, existing in this constant state of doing, rushing, and catch-up is not the best way to nurture your relationship. In fact, this summer, I'd say that my relationship with Ben has taken one of the biggest hits of any area of my life; because when your schedule gets too full, something has to give, and over the past few months, our relationship has given (and not in a good way). 

If you're a podcast listener, you'll remember that waaaaaay back in February, Ben and I recorded an episode called "Two Ships Passing in the Night: How Busy Schedules Can Impact Relationships" so you're well aware this issue isn't new for us. 

Ben works a traditional office schedule and Monday-Thursday, right when he gets home from work, I leave to go teach yoga. I teach weekend mornings as well, so the only time we have in common ends up being weekend afternoons + evenings. Throw in my travel schedule and events, guests, and gatherings, and you'll be able to see that this summer, we've had *very* little quality time together. 

One of the things that we've been discussing a lot lately (or rather, that I keep bringing up--in part because of my guilt for being away so much and so busy when I am around), is that looking forward, this is the most time we'll have together for the foreseeable future. Right now is the golden era of the our marriage (at least, for the next 20 years or so). 

Isn't that crazy? That right now--in comparison to what I'm guessing our lives will look like in about 5 years--we have tons of free time to spend nurturing our relationship. Once kids enter the picture, I know that we'll look back on these days as the days when we could just go out and grab dinner together, head to the beach alone whenever we wanted to, or enjoy an uninterrupted conversation that lasts more than 5 minutes. 

Thus, I want to enjoy these glory days! I want to soak up the time that we have together! Every time that I realize that this is the most time we'll have for many years to come, I am reminded that we simply must make more time for each other NOW, instead of flopping down on the couch, exhausted, each mindlessly scrolling through our separate devices in the 10 minutes before bed. 

This past weekend, Ben and I made time to rekindle the flame (you're welcome for using that horrendous term): we enjoyed a real dinner out together on Friday night, went to the beach on Saturday afternoon, went on a lovely double-date with friends, and still found time to do some work on the house, take Sayde on a long walk as a family, run our errands, and cook a delicious meal together on Sunday night. 

By the end of the weekend, I felt like I had gotten to know Ben again and was reminded of how much fun we have when we actually spend time together and actually talk (as opposed to just running through grocery lists, schedules, and logistics aloud). 

I hope that no matter what your summer has been like--whether it's been even crazier than mine, on par with it, or much slower--that moving forward, you can remember to carve out some time to rekindle the relationships that matter most in your life, romantic or otherwise. 

There's something so grounding and lovely about flipping the switch and thinking of these days (and of the present moment) as your glory days. When you think about it this way, all of the puzzle pieces seem to fit together a little bit better...

PS. Congrats to my How to Earn a Living Teaching Yoga eBook launch giveaway winner, Laurie L.! Laurie will receive the fabulous Sakroots yoga mat bag + a pack of yoga post greeting cards on me ;) 

To everyone else who purchased the eBook + entered last week: Thank you!!! I have been so excited by the response and can't wait to hear YOUR feedback.