Tuesday Truth: Staying Connected to Your Past

Like many modern adults, I've moved quite a few times in the past 10 years or so. Although each move has been different, one thing has remained the same: I usually make a pretty clean break. And not necessarily in a good way. 

I've always struggled with staying in touch with people when I move, and honestly, have ruined some friendships that were very important to me due to my poor phone and email skills. Again, not a good thing. 

I also have a hard time revisiting places from my past, because I find the experience really emotional and strange; I cried the first time I went back to my college campus, the first (and only!) time that I went back to NYC after moving, and yes, I teared up again this past weekend when I went back to DC/VA. Multiple times. 

But here's the thing--for the first time, maybe ever, I really want to stay connected to my past in DC/VA. I don't want a clean break, I want to keep holding the string that connects me to all of the people and places that were important to me over the past 4 years, because the community is just too great to stay away from. 

I had an amazing trip back to my old life this past weekend, and it was also really eye-opening in many ways. Did I get emotional multiple times? Yes. Did it remind me how much I miss my friends, my students, Tranquil Space (my old studio), and the life I was living just 5 months ago? Yes. Did it make me realize just how grateful I am for the life-changing years that I spent in DC/VA? Yes. But did it also make me feel like I am where I should be right now? Yes. 

It's strange. Although being back felt so right, so real, like I'd just been air-dropped back into my normal life, it also felt like it wasn't my life, as my world is now on Cape Cod. The trip back to DC made me realize that the move to the Cape was necessary in order for me to grow as a person, a wife, a teacher, an artist, and a doggie mother (hehe!). 

As I was talking with a friend this past weekend, she asked, "What's next for you?" and I paused. My answer was that I am still figuring out who I am away from Tranquil Space. I'm finding a new voice as a teacher and as an individual, and a new way to define who I am now that I've left the place where my role was fairly clear and I knew who I was. TBD, I guess. 

I think I had to leave my comfort zone in order to grow, and I think that's fairly normal. Scary, yes. Sad, of course. But rewarding and challenging, as well? Yes. 

And you know what? I even missed my new life while I was away! Returning to the Cape felt like coming home! Being in DC felt like coming home, too, but in a different way. So I guess I'm still figuring things out.

To close, I want to express my love and gratitude for the DC/VA yoga community that shaped me, taught me, and continues to support me. Thank you to all of you--to those who came out for my workshops this past weekend, to those who sent me notes welcoming me back, to those who I didn't see but who were there in spirit, and of course, to those who have stayed connected since I moved (via blog, email, social media, etc). Also, obviously, lots of love and graditude to the friends who hosted me. 

You all have no idea how much you mean to me. 

Here's to embracing the past, present, and future to come...and to jumping out of the nest! 

PS. I think you should all know that the trip wasn't perfect. It was great, but I also got a crazy case of motion sickness while riding in a cab (actually, a nice Uber) on Saturday afternoon, and threw up ALL over myself. Chipotle. In my hair, on my clothes, all over the back seat and door--which I was desperately trying to open when the nausea hit--total glamour, I tell you! Welcome to my life.