Tuesday Truth: On Being Ruled by the Numbers

I've always been easily swayed by numbers. Although not a number-cruncher, per se (math is not my strong suit), if I hear that I should be living within or above or below a certain number--of steps, of calories, of hours of sleep, of pounds--I will do whatever I can to meet that number. 

Like David Sedaris and his Fitbit, I find that our society's new ability to measure *almost* everything has been both eye-opening and at times, debilitating for me.

No, I have not yet gotten to the point where I'm running in place next to my bed to get my last 1,000 steps for the day (I know many people who have!), but I have taken my dog on an unusual evening walk or two, just to "give her a little more exercise" before going to sleep.

At different times in my life, I've been obsessed with various numbers and the measurements of those numbers. In high school, I was obsessed with the numbers that determined my appearance. I was a crazy calorie counter and scale watcher; I would weigh myself multiple times per day,  and even a tiny difference in weight could send me into a tailspin.

In college, I was obsessed with the numbers that determined my "achievements." I was crazy concerned with my grades, my GPA, the number of activities I was involved in, and how many hours were left in the day, so that I could get everything done and still have time to go out at night (it was college, after all!). 

When I lived in New York, the numbers that ruled my life were more related to money--to paying my exorbitant rent, to having enough to buy a ticket to go visit Ben each month, to going out to expensive dinners with friends without breaking the bank. 

And now, years later, the numbers that often get in my head have changed, in part because of how easy it is to measure everything now, and in part because of the "industries" in which I'm involved. 

Whether I like it or not, I must measure the number of people in my yoga classes and the number of classes that I teach each week. I must measure the number of visits my website gets every day, the number of "likes" I have on Facebook, the number of followers I have on Instagram, the number of paintings that I sell each month.

I can see which blog posts are most shared and most liked, I can see which classes are doing best, and I can calculate my monthly earnings--which are always in flux--by just looking at various numbers. Having so many numbers to monitor is a crazy thing to deal with, and if I'm not careful, I can get pretty obsessed.

But don't get me wrong, sometimes numbers can be really helpful. They can be a great way to set boundaries or limits for yourself ("I can teach no more than __ yoga classes per week if I want to stay sane," "I can spend no more than ___ dollars per month if I want to stay within my budget," etc.). They're a great way to set goals ("I will run ___ times per week to train for this race"), and they're a great way to measure your growth as a person or a business. 

It's just that they can also cause priority confusion.

For instance, if you start a blog because you love to write and want to create a community, you can lose sight of that intention when you start watching the numbers of page views go up and down every day. Or if you create art because you love it, but you can measure which types of work get the most hits on Etsy, you can lose sight of your real creative urges and become a sales factory.

Or if you want to start exercising to get healthier, but you measure your weight, you can forget about enjoying it or figuring out what healthy means, and instead get caught up in the number of pounds lost (which we all know is misleading, since muscle weighs more than fat!). 

In my own life, I've had to work to strike a balance, but it's a constant struggle and I've had to take steps to prevent being too ruled by the numbers.

I stopped weighing myself years ago, and haven't had a scale in my house/room since 2003 (except for that one year when I lived with roommate who had one in the bathroom). I don't use the calorie counting part of my Fitbit. I look at my website visits once per day and then I'm done with it. I try my best to be aware of my interest in these  numbers, but it's hard. [Especially when your husband is also easily obsessed with numbers and is constantly asking you where you stand in all of these areas...]  

Where are you on the number spectrum? Can you relate to some of these issues?

Whether you're easily ruled by the numbers or not, I encourage you to take a look at your relationship with numbers in your own life. Where are numbers making you healthier and happier, and where are they causing you to lose sight of what's important? Are you focusing on the number instead of the experience? How could you switch things around? 

As we all know, the numbers don't lie, but I think that often, our interpretations of those numbers do.

I hope that by looking a little closer at your relationship with numbers, you can find a bit of freedom from some of those internal lies that you might be telling yourself. 

And like everything else in life, I think that numbers are best consumed in moderation. Go figure, eh?