The Very Hardest Part of Working for Yourself

I just finished doing my taxes for 2016, and last year, for the first time ever, my non-yoga teaching/non-yoga-related income was almost double my yoga teaching income. Woah! If there was ever anything to make me feel like a real entrepreneur/solopreneur, it's this big change in where most if my income comes from.

And while I absolutely LOVE working for myself and am even more thankful to be my own boss on days like today-- when I'm sick (and the baby is sick) and didn't have to call in or worry about going anywhere (and can write this post in bed with Sayde on my lap, as pictured above)--I think it's always important to reiterate that working for yourself is still really hard, no matter how much you adore it. 

There are the obvious reasons for this, most of which I've discussed here before--like the fact that you don't get benefits or paid vacations (or paid sick days, for that matter!), or that you have to fill every role in the business and therefore are in charge of marketing, accounting, content + product development, account management, and scheduling--but in my opinion, there's one thing that is WAY harder than all of these things combined, and it's this: being a solopreneur or entrepreneur is an emotional rollercoaster. 

What do I mean by this? Well, here are some examples of the emotions that I experience running my business on an almost weekly basis:

• Overwhelm: when the buck stops with you, it's very easy to get overwhelmed. It's a *great* thing when you have a lot of work coming in, but it can also lead to lots of feelings of, "How on earth am I going to get all of this done?" Obviously hiring Sara to work with me has helped me with this A LOT, but not every solopreneur can hire someone, and even when you do have someone working with you, there are still the things that only you can do. Thus, the overwhelm. 
  
  
• Fear: just as it's easy to feel overwhelmed when a bunch of requests come in at once, it's also easy to feel nervous and fearful every time that things quiet down. In every business there are definite ebbs and flows, but when you work for yourself, it's easy to go down a rabbit hole every time that you have a slower week or month ("That's it, it's over, the business has dried up and I'm done..."). This fear is real and every solopreneur that I know deals with it on a somewhat regular basis. 
  
  
• Anxiety: when your name is on everything that you put out into the world, it can lead to a lot of anxiety. Every time that I send an email out to a client with a draft of a logo, website, or painting, or every time that I write a blog post or announce a retreat, I feel like I'm holding my breath until I receive some sort of feedback. Because it's personal! And even though it's not, it is! And since I'm already an anxious person, this does make it hard to work for myself at times. 
  
  
• Guilt: when I'm not working, I feel like I should be working. When you work for yourself, there is ALWAYS more to be done. Even if you don't have any pressing client work, you should be doing marketing, or be on social media, or planning your next product or project, or revamping your website, or doing some accounting...it never ends and it's never enough and turning off is REALLY hard. I've gotten better at it over the years, but I still feel a lot of guilt a lot of the time if I'm not working and know there is a lot to be done. 

So do you see? It's not all sunshine and rainbows when you work for yourself--and although you *do* get to go outside and enjoy the sunshine in the middle of the day whenever you want to--you may just have an emotional rollercoaster happening in the old dome while you enjoy those warm rays. 

{I think I should also add that I'm aware that you can still experience all of these emotions while working in a more traditional job, but I think it's much more rare to feel all of these emotions at once (or as frequently) as you do when you work for yourself.}

And with that, I'm off to walk around the house with a garbage bag, picking up dirty tissues and cough drop wrappers while praying that Charlie Mae doesn't wake up. Ahhh, such a glamourous solopreneur life, isn't it!?

PS. If you liked this post, check out my "The Reality of Doing What You Love" series: 

• Part 1: Figuring Out the Finances
• Part 2: Scheduling Stress
• Part 3: Building Your Business