The Facial Hair Factor

Image via pophangover.com

_Although it's a slight departure from my usual blog topics, today I want to discuss something that's close to my heart. And I say close to my heart, because physically, this topic is actually located in very close proximity to my heart when I lay down in bed every night. Why? Because it's lying on the pillow next to me...facial hair. Yeah.

Before delving into my somewhat biased thoughts on this subject, I want to say that I don't dislike facial hair all around. I like it on some people. For instance, I think it looks great on hipsters (who are awesome), George Clooney, and Ryan Gosling. I actually think that many guys look great with a beard or a little stubble, and have no issue with facial hair in the abstract sense or on people I know but don't live with. But I really don't like it when my significant other, who in this case is Ben (I'm just using him as an example...not because this post is completely about him) has facial hair. Why? Without getting into the nitty gritty, which could hurt someone's feelings (and because we've recently started a "negativity jar" in our household and I don't want to have to pay up...), I'll just say that there are many reasons. I don't like facial hair. I don't like it when the facial hair, or beard, is sparse and patchy. I don't like the little facial hair clippings all over the sink each morning. I don't like the way it feels when I touch his face or go to put my cheek on his (which I normally like to do!), and I don't like when he picks at it or rubs it while talking to me. Basically, I'm not a big fan. There are few men who have both the urge to grow a beard and the ability to grow a really good one AND the ability to keep it trimmed properly, and in these few instances,  I am supportive. But otherwise...

Let me pause and say that I hope I'm not coming across as really mean and judgmental. This is just a personal preference and it all comes from a place of love--and there are few subjects that I am so opinionated about...BUT. But, no matter what, I want to make it clear that I like a beard more than I like a mustache. And Ben loves mustaches even more than he loves beards (and we're no longer talking in the abstract here, we're bringing it home...). 

Ben claims that for a man who has to wear a suit and sit at a desk every day, facial hair is his way of expressing himself, of rebelling against the norm. So, every year when he grows his seasonal facial hair (which used to just be a beard in the winter and has now grown into a beard in the spring/summer and then a quick shave and a beard again in the winter/fall), we go through this fight:

Me: Are you still going to shave your beard next week?
Ben: Yes, but I'm going to shave it into a mustache.
Me: Ben, no, please, you know how I feel about mustaches. I really hate them.
Ben: I don't care. It makes me so happy and it's not your face, it's mine.
Me: I know, but I'm the one who has to look at it and it really grosses me out. Please, don't do it. Please.
Ben: Mary Catherine, why can't you be cool? Why can't you be one of those girls who thinks a mustache is hilarious?
Me: I am one of those girls when OTHER guys do it. Just not the guy I have to look at and be attracted every day...

...and it goes on and on and on. Fun, no? Just so you can get a picture of what I'm talking about here, take a look at the images below. The first is a recent picture of Ben, at CrossFit, after his latest beard-turned-mustache combo. The second, an email sent out by one of our CrossFit coaches along with the first photo--the email was entitled, "Ben as Ned Flanders?"

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Ben thinks that I overreact (What? Me, overreact? Never!), but for these reasons and oh, so many more, facial hair really leaves me disgruntled. For example, just last night Ben went to kiss me on the forehead, and instead, ended up stabbing me in the eye. Why? Because he has whiskers near his mouth! WHISKERS!!!! Getting stabbed in the eye instead of kissed? So. not. romantic.

So, as the holidays draw near and I look forward to bringing my mangy cat, er, fiance, home to see my family, I can only look forward to the Christmas cheer, the New Year, and the inevitable mustache fight that's waiting right around the corner, as we near his next CrossFit competition in January. The facial hair fun never stops around here!

So now your turn--how do you feel about facial hair? I know that my (few) male readers will have something to say about the topic and how it makes them feel (so fire away!), but ladies, I'm talking to you. Do you like it when your sig other has facial hair? Do you get as disgruntled as I do, or are you Miss Cool, Miss Understanding? If so, I'm impressed :)

And with that, I'll leave you with one last thought--two words, but one thought that may just may trump the word mustache--soul patch. Enough said. I rest my case.

Namaste and lots of facial hair love,
Mary Catherine

PS. More on the negativity jar later. But it's awesome and was totally (and obviously!) my idea.

PPS. Just so that you know that Ben really is a cute, normal guy, and doesn't actually look like Ned Flanders, here's a picture of how he looks sans facial hair:

See? So soft and sweet :)