The Evolution of My Relationship with Yoga

I took my first real yoga class in the fall of 2007 in NYC. I became a yoga teacher in the spring of 2010 in DC. This means that I've been practicing yoga for 10.5 years now and teaching for almost 8.

If you were to add up the hours that I have spent in a yoga studio in one capacity or another, the number would be staggering. I know--without a doubt--that I have spent more hours in yoga studios than I have in any other one place in my adult life, and I'm pretty happy about that. 

The past 18 months since having Charlie Mae, however, have had me spending less and less time doing yoga, teaching yoga, + in studios than ever before. I miss my daily practice and I miss the ability to pop into a class whenever I want and I miss the distraction-less surroundings of practicing in a studio (as opposed to my home which is covered in the debris of family life).

However, despite this slight cooling off in my relationship with yoga as of late, I don't love it any less. In fact, I think I might value yoga even more these days.

Here's how my relationship with yoga has grown, matured, and deepened in the 10.5 years since we first "met":

2007: The first few months after we bumped into each other at Dolphin Fitness (ha!), yoga and I spent some time getting used to one another. I tried out different teachers, and thus, tried out different styles of yoga (although I didn't know that's what I was doing at the time). I was really drawn to particular classes and teachers and was excited to have a way to move my body that didn't hurt [like running now did]. 

2008: By 2008, just a few months into our relationship, I was really into yoga. This year was marked by infatuation; like a young girl falling in love for the first time, I wanted to spend all of my time with yoga but had no clue what I was doing or where things were going. All I wanted to do was practice; I went to class every single day after work and tried to get as much as I could. I was in it for the physical--it was the one thing I was "allowed" to do with the injuries I was working with (and I was addicted to working out + trying to be thin)--but there was something else that kept me coming back for more, too.

2009: At the beginning of 2009, I started to realize that I wanted this relationship to be a long-term one. I was ready to commit. Yoga had become my cognitive therapy, my only respite from the intensity of my mind and emotions, my exercise program, my physical therapy, my healer. In the fall of 2009, after a move to DC, I did commit, and started a teacher training program. While in this program, yoga and I fell deeper in love; my practice grew, my love for the practice grew, and my desire to be with yoga for the rest of my life solidified. 

2010: This is the year that things got complicated. After the honeymoon period, which was marked by finishing teacher training and beginning to teach, I lost touch with my own practice there for a little bit. I was teaching so much yoga that I no longer had time to practice every day. I went overboard and had to reel things back in. Yoga waited patiently while I sorted out my issues and scaled back my teaching so I could practice again. 

2011: A growth year. A year of continued exploration. A year of continued commitment. I wanted more so I signed up for a 300 hour teacher training.The dust started to settle as yoga and I continued to get to know one other on a deeper level. 

2012: Yoga and I got into a groove this year. It's like we had already gotten married, but due to life circumstances, had continued to live apart--then in 2012, we finally moved in together. In reality, what happened is that in late 2011, Ben and I moved to an apartment that was a 2-minute walk from the yoga studio where I taught the majority of my classes and was the Studio Manager. Yoga was truly my life at this point. It had changed how everything looked and felt from both the outside and the inside. I also graduated from my 300 hour training this year. 

2013: In 2013, yoga helped me get ready for + process our next big move. It was my outlet for all of the stress and anxiety that came with planning a big life change. In late 2013, we moved to Cape Cod and I had to say goodbye to my yoga home, yoga world, and the yoga life that I had built in the DC area. But luckily, my yoga practice made the move with me. 

2014: After moving to Cape Cod, yoga was my lifeline. I used yoga as my way to explore my new home, visiting studios, meeting teachers and studio owners, getting a feel for this new landscape and the people who lived here. Yoga introduced me to almost everyone I know on Cape Cod (outside of family) and kept me company in this new place where I might have felt lonely otherwise. It showed me that I would be okay here.

2015: In 2015, the pace of my physical movement while practicing slowed down a bit for the first time (ever?). I took some new trainings with completely new-to-me teachers. My teaching changed a lot. Yoga and I traveled to Costa Rica and Italy together on retreats. Yoga continued to introduce me to new people and new places and expand my horizons. 

2016: Practicing yoga regularly while pregnant was a game changer. Yoga gave me a way to connect with the baby growing inside of my body and a time to process the changes that were happening within, too. I felt stronger and more at peace when on my yoga mat while pregnant. The first time I practiced after my daughter had been born, it felt weird practicing without her. I missed her company; it was just me and yoga again. 

2017: Last year, yoga and I saw each other less than we ever have before. I was lucky if I could practice at a studio once per week. My home practice was pieced together in 15 and 30 minute increments during which I was distracted, overwhelmed, and often interrupted. I missed yoga so much but I also grew to appreciate it even more. Like a long-distance lover who you only get to see every few weeks, I was always left wanting more, but I took what I could get. 

2018: Yoga and I are starting to get back into a somewhat regular groove. I need yoga in new ways now and I respect and appreciate it in new ways, too. We're so familiar and have been a part of each other's lives for so long, and yet there is still so much we have to learn about one another. I'm excited to continue to learn + grow together, and for my daughter to get to know yoga better, as well. 

Oh, yoga: thank you.

​When I look back at everything mapped out like this and reflect on the past 10.5 years, I am amazed to see that yoga really is one of the few constants in my daily life. So much has changed, and yet, yoga and I are still going strong. For that, I am eternally grateful.