The Big Move (Change is the Only Constant)

[Above: Part of an anniversary card that I gave my husband, Ben, on our 1 year anniversary yesterday.]

I have a *BIG* announcement to make today. And if the post title and image above didn't give it away, here it is: Ben and I are moving. Out of state. To Cape Cod, Massachusetts. On November 2nd. 

[I know!!!!!!!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!] 

I wanted to get the announcement off of my chest right away, because it's been weighing on me and I've been dying to tell you all. But, now that I've written it, here's the backstory:

When he graduated from Law School in 2009, Ben's dream was to work as a criminal prosecutor for a District Attorney's office. However, the economy was a mess, many state governments were on hiring freezes, and while in the process of interviewing for the position he really wanted, he was offered a super stable job as a Government Contracts attorney. It would have been stupid for him to turn it down, so he took it, and we moved to DC.

Fast forward 4 years later, and Ben is still working as a Government Contracts attorney. While he has developed some unique skills and learned a lot, he has missed out on getting any courtroom experience--his true passion and the reason that he became a lawyer in the first place--and he's spent the past 4 years wanting a bit more from his work. 

[You know how I'm always talking about following your dreams here on the blog? And how I've said that sometimes, you just have to "take the leap and build your wings on the way down"? Well, that's what Ben has done this year, and I couldn't be more proud of him.]

In January, Ben decided that he wanted to leave the security of a Federal Government job behind, and pursue his original goal of becoming a criminal prosecutor. He could imagine no better place to do this than on Cape Cod, where he grew up and where we have talked about eventually settling down, so he started studying for the Massachusetts Bar Exam (while working full-time!). He was pretty insane for many months, but he made the commitment and stuck to it.

He took the exam in July, and shortly before he took it, a position opened up (seemingly out of nowhere!) in the Cape & Islands D.A.'s office. Ben applied for it, and 3 interviews, 15+ candidates, 3 trips to the Cape, and almost 4 months later, he was offered the job last week. 

Ben has been an amazing support system for me over the past 4 years, as I've transitioned out of a "normal" career and into a life of teaching, painting, and blogging, and there's no way that I would have been able to follow my dreams without him. So, even though it's going to be somewhat difficult, I'm super excited to be able to provide the same support for him now. [Because that's how relationships work, right?]

BUT. 

To say that we agonized over this decision for the past 4 months is an understatement. In fact, we started agonizing over this decision as soon as he decide to take the Bar Exam, and I would say that this has been the hardest decision that we've ever made as a couple (and one of the hardest decisions I've ever made in my life!). 

Why? Well, for many reasons, but mostly because of my sadness over the thought of leaving my yoga hOMe, Tranquil Space. If you haven't picked up on it from reading the blog (and you probably have), Tranquil Space has changed my life over the past 4 years--and I mean, completely changed. 

In fact, if it wasn't for Tranquil Space and all of the people that I've met through the studio, I would be fine with moving. But, the thought of leaving this community makes me want to collapse on the floor, sobbing, and refuse to leave. I love it that much.

If I've seemed a little off over the past few weeks, it's probably because I have been dealing with SO MANY conflicting emotions: I'm excited about a new adventure, but I'm devastated/heartbroken about leaving. I'm super nervous about trying to break into a new yoga community, about starting over, about the prospect of failing, but I'm also somewhat thrilled by the challenge. I'm glad that we'll be moving closer to Ben's family (most of them live on the Cape!), but I'm sad that we'll be moving farther away from my family. I'm really happy for Ben and am looking forward to settling down in a place with a slower pace, but I'm also afraid that I'll lose my mind there, that the silence will be deafening, that I'll feel completely isolated. See? A roller coaster of emotions. Change is just SO scary. 

I've basically only lived in big cities throughout my life (besides college, which doesn't really count because I was in SUCH a little college bubble), so living in a small, seasonal community will be a huge adjustment. I've never really experienced harsh winters, so that will be new, and I don't have a job there, so that will be crazy. But, I'm trying to just trust that things will work out.

What will I do there? Well, hopefully what I'm doing here--blogging, painting, and teaching yoga--but if things don't work out exactly as I hope, I'm going to try and go with the flow. Through yoga I have learned that the only constant is change, that I can breathe through anything, and that dealing with non-attachment is a part of life. So, that's what I'm going to attempt to do.

I have so much more that I could say about this move, but seeing as though this is already a crazy long post, I'll stop for now. 

I'm sure I'll be sharing lots more as this process continues over the next few weeks (we only have a few weeks to pack up our entire lives and move to another state!), but to all of my students and fellow Tranquil Spacers, I am going to miss you more than I could ever write in a post. Thank you for making this place SO hard to leave. I am eternally grateful that I moved to DC  four years ago (a move that I didn't want to make in the first place!), and I can't begin to explain how much the TS yoga community has meant to me. 

To all of my readers: Thank gawd that I have you guys. I would be a lot more scared of the isolation/loneliness factor of this move if I didn't have this online community! Thank you, thank you, thank you. 

PS. I forgot to mention that I'll continue teaching all of my regularly-scheduled classes and workshops right up until November 1st. I've decided to go out with a bang, so my last class at TSA will be Hip Hop Yoga on 11/1 (Woohoo! I can't imagine a more wonderful last class). You can also catch one last seasonal restorative yoga workshop at TSA this Saturday. So, we have many chances to see each other before I finally bid adieu... ;)