Struggling to Stay Connected in a Socially Networked World

For someone who lives in SUCH a socially-networked world, I'm always surprised by how much I struggle to stay connected to so many of the people that I care about in life. When I think about how hard it is to find the time to chat with my closest friends and family, I'm always saddened by the fact that we don't get to talk very often, and that often the times that we do talk have to be scheduled or planned in order to ensure that we connect. When did life get so busy, and when did finding time to chat become so hard?

This past weekend, for example, I had 3 scheduled "phone dates" with some of my closest friends from college. There are two aspects of these dates that I'd like to comment on--one, I think it's amazing that we've finally found a way to ensure that we actually DO connect (I get SO sick of phone tag!) and I think that phone dates are great, but two, I also think it's really sad that we have to schedule our calls these days. I literally have phone calls with my best friends penciled into my weekly schedule in my planner! Sad or kind of wonderful? I just can't decide, but I think it's sad. And what I really can't understand is how we can struggle so much to stay connected to each other, when we are still "connected" to each other already in so many of the socially-networked ways. What did our parents do? What about before that, when people could only write letters to stay in touch?

My theory for why we struggle to stay connected is that we're just too connected. We spend so much time each day staying in touch with our colleagues, our business contacts, our twitter and facebook contacts, our blog readers, and those who we're surrounded by on a daily basis, that we let those who (also) matter to us--but who aren't right in front of us every day--get pushed to the back burner. Just like someone who gets bogged down with the minutiae at work and can't ever find the time to handle big picture projects, we end up spending so much time connecting with those that we're already connected with, that we lose some of our connection with other, "big picture" relationships. Does that sound like an insult to those we're connected with on a daily basis? I hope not. I LOVE my daily contacts and am so happy to have them in my life, I just wish I could make more time for those who I don't come into contact with on a daily basis.

One of the things that I've been reminded of lately, during all of my scheduled phone dates, is that there is just nothing like connecting (or reconnecting) with a great friend. There is something so fulfilling, so nurturing, and so special about talking to someone who you know so well (and who knows you so well, for better or worse!). I think that personally, I often feel so overstimulated and over-connected, that at the end of the day, the last thing I want to do is get on the phone and talk again...I typically just want to "unplug" and veg out for a bit. But every time that I do make that phone call, I'm so happy that I did, and I end up feeling re-energized and rejuvenated.

So what are we to do? How do we keep the constant onslaught of daily connectedness (which, don't get me wrong, I totally LOVE and am addicted to!) from allowing us to replace some of our deeper, more meaningful relationships with those that are easier (more immediate)? Is this just me, or do others feel this as well?

If you too, struggle with staying in touch with long-distance friends and family, I highly recommend scheduling phone dates. I've found them to be a wonderful way to keep the link between busy friends, even if it is *kind of* sad that they have to be scheduled. Getting a time on the calendar will prevent these phone calls from becoming just another thing that gets pushed back for the more immediate to-dos, and will keep your soul filled with deep, nurturing connections.

Got any tips for me on staying connected? I'd love to hear...

Namaste!
Mary Catherine

---