Do you ever feel like a fraud? Do you struggle with chronic self-doubt or low levels of confidence, especially when it comes to your intellectual abilities? If so, you may have experienced a bit of impostor syndrome, which is what we talk about in this week's episode.
We start by defining impostor syndrome and what it feels like, and then go on to explain how it has shown up (or not shown up) in our lives [Hint: I have experienced it. Ben? Not so much.] We also discuss whether or not it affects the sexes differently, how impostor syndrome, confidence, + humility are related, and we close with some tips on dealing with this issue if you, too, are plagued by it. {Also, I feel like I should acknowledge that for some reason, we're really loosey-goosey in this week's episode (can you tell we're getting a little too comfortable podcasting?). If nothing else, I think you should listen just to hear Ben struggle to understand the issues that I bring up. It's kind of ridiculous...} You can listen to the episode below OR by downloading and/or subscribing in iTunes or Stitcher (be sure you search "Starr Struck Radio").
As mentioned in the episode ["Pamper's Plug!"], here's the blog post I wrote about Impostor Syndrome back in 2013.
And as mentioned in the break, here are links to my upcoming November workshops:
As usual, I want to close by asking you a favor: if you haven't already, will you take 1 minute to rate us or write a review in iTunes? It helps us continue to bring you free content on a weekly basis! Directions on how to do so are here. You can peruse all past Starr Struck Radio episodes on the podcast homepage. Thanks *SO MUCH* for listening!
Jason
10/27/2015 06:59:27 am
Impostor syndrome is totally real. And it is definitely seems like it is more a problem for women than men, although I say that with some caveats. I have always had the belief that there is nothing I can't do if I put my mind to it. It's almost comical. I see people doing things that in truth I probably could never do, but instantly think, "I could do that" or start thinking about how I could do that. Ever see those skits with Catherine Tate? I'm totally like this sometimes in my mind (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WEoYVRN6jlM). Where I do feel impostor syndrome though is in my music life. Because I didn't go to conservatory, because I have had to work real hard to get to where others seem to be naturally, I've never felt I was truly good enough to be doing what I am doing. That gap is crippling (comparison is the thief of joy, right?). But I rarely feel it as an attorney. Sure, I wonder from time to time if I am good enough or if the planet could use a better advocate than me, but so long as I am prepared, it doesn't matter if I'm arguing a case in DC Circuit or talking to school kids. I got this. That's how I feel. If it goes well, great. If it doesn't, I figure out why and move on. My wife, meanwhile, internalizes every blip. If something goes wrong, her mind immediately starts thinking, "I should find another career" or "I'm not good at this." We have completely different mindsets when it comes to work (and truth be told she is probably the more capable, detail-oriented lawyer). But I can understand the feeling because it affects me in my music. Now all that said, I have talked with some constitutional lawyers and Supreme Court clerks and had frank discussions about motivation and excellence, and I remember one conversation in particular where the absolutely brilliant attorney and scholar confessed that his motivation is entirely a overriding fear of being considered an intellectual fraud. Everything he did had to be perfect, every argument bulletproof. Not just because that was his aspiration, to do his best. But because anything less was a personal failure that would reveal him to be not what he wanted to be. Seemed to work for him but that's got to a tough way to live.
Mary Catherine
10/29/2015 04:28:43 am
Wow, such great thoughts here, Jason. Thanks for sharing them + your perspective. It's interesting that for you, impostor syndrome comes up in your art/creative endeavor and not in your work life. I wonder if that's more common in men or just a personality thing (or a product of your "training"--or lack thereof--as you mention). And what you say about lawyers + Supreme Court clerks reiterates my feelings that no one is safe from these feelings! They are so pervasive in our society and I hate that. 11/3/2015 04:50:27 am
Hi Mary Catherine, I don't know if it's because I'm now in my late forties now or what but for me, I find I'm kinder to myself these days. For instance, it doesn't matter if someone else draws/paints like a 'master/pro' because who or what is that anyway? For instance, how can you compare Monet versus Picasso? For me, it's more a case of sharing your truth, talents in a way that feels authentic - it has nothing to do with 'working hard' I feel, although, if it's something that is deeply important to one, I find you work hard because of that. If it's the real you that is being shared, then that's what counts. Jane x Comments are closed.
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HELLO!I'm Mary Catherine, a Cape Cod-based yoga teacher, painter, designer, writer, mom, and list-maker extraordinaire. My goal is to inspire you to start living a more creative, simple, joyful, + purposeful life.
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