Starr Struck Radio, Episode #13: Learning How to Say No

4/7/2015

One of the things that I've loved about doing a podcast with Ben is that he brings another perspective--a decidedly different, male, non-flowy, non-lead-with-the-heart perspective, which I think brings some depth to our discussions that wouldn't exist otherwise (or if not depth, at least laughter!).

This week's episode is a perfect example of that; If my co-host was someone who struggled with saying no as much as I do, I don't think our conversation would be as interesting. But, with Ben (a guy who has NO problem saying no) in the mix, we've got both sides of the aisle represented ;)

Here's the description of the show:

Saying no can be really hard for some. For others, it's a piece of cake. Many things determine whether or not saying "no" comes easily to you, including your personality and your personal history with setting boundaries. In this week's episode, we delve into this and more, discussing the art of saying no and how to master it.

In the first half of the episode, we each share our experiences with saying no (which are quite different!) and we touch on why it’s important to learn how to say no. In the second half of the episode, we discuss where and when you should say no, and we offer tips on how to say no with more confidence and ease.

You can listen to the episode below OR by downloading and/or subscribing in iTunes or Stitcher (be sure you search "Starr Struck Radio").

LISTEN AND SUBSCRIBE IN ITUNES HERE

And as always, here are a few resources:

Say "NO" more: Great article that is definitely worth reading for anyone who struggles withs saying no
Recognizing Your Patterns blog post: My past post that we discuss/mention in the podcast--the one with the chart that shows what happens when I don't say no enough. I've included the chart below for easy reference.

What do you think? Can you relate? If so, this is why we need to learn how to say no ;)

If you're new to Starr Struck Radio, you can find the FAQs (how to listen, description of the show, etc.) here.

Thanks for listening!

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Jeanette Ruiz link

4/6/2015 10:50:18 pm

This reminds me of a scene in the Netflix show, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt (which you must watch cause it’s hilarious!), where Matt Lauer says something like ‘it’s incredible what lengths women will go to to be polite.’ Which in the case of the show means being kidnapped and held in a bunker for 15 years just because they didn’t say no to be impolite. I think it definitely is harder for women to say no.

I just recently had to decline a client for coaching because I just don’t have the time. I sent her a long email with resources and referred her to another person and it killed me when she responded with “sorry you have decided not to work with me.” I was so bummed. But I realized that if I didn’t set those boundaries I would be miserable come a week down the road.

Mary Catherine

4/7/2015 09:23:44 pm

I haven't watched yet but REALLY want to! Haha! I love that.

And GOOD FOR YOU for declining a coaching client. Such a hard thing to do but SO important. Hooray for boundaries! xoxo

Olivia

4/7/2015 03:33:44 am

OMG Ben's first world problem is on point!! My parents always make me clean before our cleaning people come, ugh! I am totally a "yes" person, maybe I need to attend no camp! :) love this podcast.

4/7/2015 09:24:17 pm

You can be Ben's first NO CAMP attendee! Love it.

kate

4/7/2015 01:32:38 pm

i am so looking forward to picking your brain about how to explain to people that No, I am sorry ... I get PAID to have my brain picked! I've actually been wanting to run my theory about no longer doing my first consultation free by you. (ps - you may get to this topic. i am commenting mid-podcast! xo)

4/7/2015 09:22:45 pm

HAHAHA! This comment CRACKED me up. Thank you ;) And you def shouldn't do anything longer than about 15 mins for free! Busy gals don't have time for that shiz ;)

Jessica Lawlor link

4/12/2015 01:53:37 am

This episode was great!

Mary Catherine- I love the script you shared. The word 'overextended' is perfect! I've been struggling to find a way to say no without needing to explain, but without being like "I'm SOOOO busy" because that's not cool either, so overextended definitely fits the bill.

Thanks for the tip!

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