Pressing Pause for Poetry: Cristin O’Keefe Aptowicz

Another poet that I was introducted to via American Life in Poetry, Cristin O'Keefe Apotowicz is a poet and nonfiction writer from my generation (yay!) who is celebrated for her work in the New York slam poetry scene and for her 5 successful books of poetry.  She was recently awarded a 2011 National Endowment of the Arts Fellowship in Poetry, and once you start reading her poems, you can see why. 

I love the poem below, because it speaks to the difficulty of fitting in--of feeling self-conscious at an event and inflicting self-judgment. Similarly, I know what she's talking about when she mentions "a gaggle of models [that] come shrieking into the bar." This definitely happens a lot on a night out in New York, and can make any girl begin to feel self-conscious.

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At the Office Holiday Party

I can now confirm that I am not just fatter
than everyone I work with, but I’m also fatter
than all their spouses. Even the heavily bearded
bear in accounting has a little otter-like boyfriend.

When my co-workers brightly introduce me
as “the funny one in the office,” their spouses
give them a look which translates to, Well, duh,
then they both wait for me to say something funny.

A gaggle of models comes shrieking into the bar
to further punctuate why I sometimes hate living
in this city. They glitter, a shiny gang of scissors.
I don’t know how to look like I’m not struggling.

Sometimes on the subway back to Queens,
I can tell who’s staying on past the Lexington stop
because I have bought their shoes before at Payless.
They are shoes that fool absolutely no one.

Everyone wore their special holiday party outfits.
It wasn’t until I arrived at the bar that I realized
my special holiday party outfit was exactly the same
as the outfits worn by the restaurant’s busboys.

While I’m standing in line for the bathroom,
another patron asks if I’m there to clean it.


To read more of Cristin's poems, check out her site here.
Have a wonderful weekend!

Namaste,
Mary Catherine