My Triumphant Return to Therapy {+ Why I'm Never Going Without It Again...}

Until last week, it had been over two years since I'd been to a therapy session.

You all know I'm a huge fan + adovocate of talk therapy {I've extolled it's virtues in a past post} but when we first moved to Cape Cod back in November 2013, I was unable to find a therapist who had openings so I just gave up. Without knowing anyone who could give me referrals, I was left using the online directory for therapists who took my insurance, and I came up empty-handed. So, I decided I could go without, and I did. 

I've had my struggles with anxiety and mild depression over the years, but those issues have been under control for the past 2-3 years and I've been feeling great, so I didn't think I *needed* a therapist in the ways that I had in the past; plus I was busy, so would look for one later...you know the drill. 

Flash forward to late December/early January (of this year): I've recently found out that I'm pregnant and in between the moments of excitement, nervousness, and joy, I'm wracked with anxiety about the baby's wellbeing--my mind easily wanders to all of the horror stories that I've heard, all that can go wrong, that it can't possibly be this easy and therefore my baby-related tragedy just hasn't happened yet. {You heard me discuss this anxiety in Episode #39 of the podcast.}

This is when I decided that it was time to go back to therapy. I realized that anxiety or not, I could use some regularly-scheduled time to process this huge impending life change. I asked for a referral from a student who is a therapist, got a great one, and made an appointment. 

The counselor I decided to go see wasn't available until the last week in February, but that was fine. She sounded nice, took my insurance, and was located near my house, so I could wait. 

The funny thing is that by the time my appointment rolled around, I was at 16 weeks--no longer in the scary early days of pregnancy--and my anxiety had subsided in a major way. I didn't feel as desperate for the therapy anymore, but I knew that going back and seeing someone every once in a while would be good for me. 

What I didn't expect or remember? How utterly amazing I would feel after the appointment. How healthy and cathartic it would feel. How much I really need therapy--always--even when I'm feeling great and loving my life.

I had no idea how much I had been struggling [internally] with some of the stuff that came up right away. I had no idea that I would be able to talk nonstop for our allotted hour, which was filled with tears, laughter, and everything in between. I know I sound overly dramatic, but I have to tell you what a weight was lifted in *just* an hour with someone I had never met before that day; it's pretty incredible. 

Yes, I lucked out because I immediately felt a connection with this therapist, and yes, I've been in enough therapy in my life to feel comfortable opening up right away [in this setting], but also, talking with a stranger about your struggles and issues--the ones that bounce around in your head but you don't always have time to process--is one of the most healing experiences I've come across in my 31 years on Earth. 

So, in case my podcast episode on therapy and/or my past blog post about therapy wasn't enough, I want to encourage you to give therapy a try--or if you're like me and have been before but taken some time off, schedule your own triumphant return ASAP.

You don't have to have anything "wrong" with you. You don't have to be in a place of despair or panic. In fact, going as a preventative measure, as maintenance, just as you would the chiropractor or dentist, is one of the best things you can do for yourself (IMHO).

Want some more resources on therapy and/or want to learn more? Here's some past therapy love from Starr Struck-land: 

• Why I Heart Therapy
• Starr Struck Radio, Episode #31: Demystifying + Destigmatizing Therapy
  
  

And, somewhat related (well, very related):

• Yoga and Antidepressants
• On Perfectionism

Quick note to all of the mental health professionals out there who read this blog (I know there are at least a handful of you): thank you for the work you do! It's SO important. But you already knew that ;)