More + More Lessons in Letting Go, Giving Up, and Scaling Back...

In November 2017, I wrote a blog post about the difficulty of giving up yoga classes as my life situation has changed over the years. In the post I talked about how the way in which I defined myself (as a "yoga teacher") had changed, and how unexpectedly challenging and emotional it was to undergo these changes. I talked about my slow decrease in weekly classes from 15-20 per week, to 12 per week, to 10, then 8, and at the time of that post, down to just 4 classes per week after having Charlie Mae. 

Well, here I am today, just over two years later, and once again, I'm grappling with similar emotions. I recently gave up yet another class (at the beginning of April) and am still getting used to being home on Thursday nights after so many years away. I'm now down to teaching just 3 yoga classes per week (!!!!!), which is simply mind-boggling to me. And do you know what's even crazier? That 3 classes still feels like a lot of classes! I have no idea how I ever taught 12 classes per week [for so many years]. 

I'm also dealing with the reality of taking maternity leave again; it's hard for me to take time off from teaching and working because these are the two things that give my weeks shape, a bigger sense of purpose, and contact with adults in the outside world (LOL). 

Every decision that we make in life--especially those that we make to create time for something new--involve giving something up, either temporarily or permanently. Giving up a job, a location, a community, a role, an opportunity, a known quantity, a home, a relationship, an identity. 

In a way, since I became a parent, the past 3 years have been a series of lessons in letting go. I've given up being as creative, as productive, as available, and as active as I was before becoming a mother. I've had to scale back my teaching and my business. I've had way less time to myself, time for continuing education, time for my relationship, and time for travel (because who wants to travel with a baby or toddler? Thanksbutnothanks).

And all of this letting go isn't easy. It can be really unsettling and sad. But is it worth it? I definitely think so. Which is why I've signed up to do it again and why I'm gearing up to let go of EVEN MORE, YET AGAIN with the arrival of Babe #2. 

In my opinion (and in my experience), no matter what you're giving up, at the end of the day, it's the letting go that creates space for the new, the exciting, the challenging, the growth. And the good news is that in many cases, the letting go is either temporary or potentially reversible, if you want it to be (and I mean small scale here, ie. the having of the second child is not reversible, but the giving up of the yoga class is...).

So what do you have to lose? What do you need to let go of  in order to create space for something better, different, or more challenging?!?!