How to Stay Sane + Mindful This Holiday Season

Thursday was Thanksgiving. By 11am on Friday, when I was driving back from teaching a yoga class, I started passing cars with trees on top of them. 

Oh, I thought to myself, here we are. 

It feels like every year, the space between Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years gets smaller and smaller. And with it, the space in my mind and the space between events in my calendar also gets smaller. 

However, last year, I put my foot down. We had just moved from DC to MA--a couple of weeks before Thanksgiving--so as we were getting settled, I made a conscious decision to not get so wrapped up (pun intended, you're welcome) in the season. I decided that I would approach the holidays mindfully and do things differently for once. 

And guess what? I did. 

We still went to events and we still celebrated and we still got a tree and decorated it, and it was lovely, but for the first time ever, I didn't feel so frazzled by January 1st. It was really quite pleasant. 

So, I plan on doing the same this year--approaching the holidays as mindfully as possible--and I encourage you to do the same. 

How, you might ask?  Here are my 5 tips for staying sane this season: 

1. Don't go to all the things. You just can't. 
I looked in my calendar on Friday, and saw that I had 11 holiday events written down in my planner between Thanksgiving and Christmas. This does not include family gatherings or celebrating my birthday in December.

Does that sound normal to you? If so, and if you're in the same boat, you must look at these events and realize that they cannot all happen without you losing your mind. Thus, I urge you to cross some out or say no. 

Although I had two events scheduled this past weekend, I chose to use the weekend as a chance to get caught up and rested instead, and canceled both of the holiday events I had previously planned on attending. Was I sad to have missed them? Yes. Did I feel a little guilt? Absolutely. But was it the right thing to do for my sanity and overall wellbeing? 100%.

Decide which events make sense energetically and schedule-wise, and then send your regrets to the others and let them go. You can do it!

2. Think about going gift-free or downsizing your exchange list. 
Last year, I posted Starr Struck's Holiday {NO} Gift Guide, where I discussed my dual urges to buy and make presents for everyone AND to reject gifts (and the materialism of the holidays) and just give time and energy and love. I got a great response from many of you, and a few of my friends who I always exchange gifts with jumped on board.

We came to the conclusion (as a group), that although we LOVE getting and receiving gifts from one another (they're always some of the best!), we would rather spend less time and money shopping for one another, and instead schedule a holiday Google Hangout where we could drink wine and talk and celebrate our friendship from afar.

It was wonderful to let go of the need to find something "perfect" for each other (which does add stress!), so we're doing it again this year. It's a great reminder that it's the relationship that matters, not the things. 

3. Stay active. 
When you go to all the things, and when you have tons of shopping to do, and when you're spending all of your time eating and drinking, often, physical activity takes a back seat. 

Sometimes this just has to happen and it's okay on a short-term basis (during one really busy week, perhaps), but when the entire holiday season becomes a sedentary stress-fest, it's no bueno. 

So take walks! With friends and/or family, if you can (great substitute for a gift--go on a hike together!). Go to yoga! Snag a quick run or quick bike ride, even if it's only for 20 minutes and even if it's on a stationary bike in your grandmother's basement. I promise, it will make you feel better and it will help you in every way imaginable. Physical activity is a powerful drug. 

4. Decide what will take a back seat over the next couple of weeks, and intentionally de-prioritize that thing/task. 
When you have 11 events to go to in 3.5 weeks (or 9, since I've already started whittling things down), something is going to have to be moved to the back burner. It shouldn't be physical activity or sleep, and for many of us, it can't really be work, but it has to be something.

So what's it going to be? You need to decide for yourself and then be okay with that decision. 

Perhaps you decide to let go of making baked goods for all of your co-workers this year (they'll live if they don't get those ginger bread cookies, trust me!). Perhaps you don't send out holiday cards to everyone on your list, and just send them to your closest people. Perhaps you decide to let your house get a little messy. Maybe you give yourself some time off from writing that book, or working on that painting, or sewing that quilt (unless it's a holiday gift, and then, by all means, pick something else to give up!).

Whatever it is, know that you can pick it back up in January and things will be fine. 

5. Before you do something, ask yourself why you're doing it. If the answer isn't, "because I want to" or "because it's important to me," question it.  
Why are you spending the day making those Hungarian Nut Rolls? Because it's tradition? Because you always do? Or because it's important to you to have Hungarian Nut Rolls on Christmas Morning with your family because you love them? 

Why are you going to that work acquaintance's holiday party? Because you feel like you "should"? Because you RSVP-ed 'yes' weeks ago? Because you told your friend you would? Or because you really want to because you'll get to catch up with people you care about? 

These are the questions that you should be asking yourself. If guilt, "shoulds," poorly-considered RSVPs, or tradition is the only thing guiding your actions, I urge you to reconsider. 

Sure, it's lame to back-out late when you've already RSVP-ed yes, but the world will continue turning if you say "sorry" in order to protect your emotional and energetic sanity. 

Thus, we've reached the conclusion of my Stay-Sane Guide. I hope that you can use some of these tips, and that they lead to a more mindful, intentional holiday for all. 

This season doesn't have to fly by in a blur of tinsel and cocktails--it can be full of memories of walks in the cold air, laughter, rest, and deep conversations with loved ones. 

Your choice ;) 

PS. My December Newsletter went out this morning! Not signed up to receive it? You can read it here.