How to Scale Back This Fall [In 3 Simple Steps!]

It's time to take a step back. It's time to mark through an upcoming event or two on your calendar, or, if you're one of those new-fangled people who keep your planner in an app (Who are you? I don't understand you!), delete an event or two on your phone. 

​I don't know about you, but I'm feeling the seasonal pull to scale back big time and I don't want to ignore it. 

I got back from Italy late Saturday night, and because I knew I'd be jet-lagged and out of sorts, I had gotten a sub for my Sunday morning class. Without realizing it, for the first time in almost two years, I'd set myself up to enjoy a weekend morning on Cape Cod without teaching a yoga class. 

Ben and I "slept in" until about 7:30 and had a lovely morning together around the house. We went and got breakfast at a delicious new brunch spot. We took Sayde on a long walk in the cold. We installed a few of our new outdoor light fixtures. And then we did Sunday chores, made an early dinner together, sat by the fire, watched a TV show, and got into bed by 8:30.

It was so lovely words can't even describe. I didn't work (well, I sent a couple of emails, but that's it!), I didn't have anything I needed to do at any specific time, and I was able to really enjoy Ben's company. 

Sounds simple and pretty straightforward, doesn't it? Well, it isn't. And I'm willing to bet that many of you struggle to find days like this, too--days with nothing scheduled and no big to-dos, days where you don't feel pulled in 50 directions, days where you can just be in your life and actually enjoy the basic act of living. 

So, experiencing a day like Sunday, coupled with a week spent in Italy where everything moves more slowly and life is all about enjoying sensory pleasures (the food + wine, OMG!), was just the kick-in-the-pants that I needed to think about scaling back. I don't know exactly what that means for me right now, but I'm thinking about it quite a bit and hoping to make some changes--even very small ones--in the coming months in order to create a bit more space in my daily life. 

And thus, my charge to you: I want to encourage you to think about scaling back, too, so that you can experience some very basic days this fall [and winter]. I want you to listen to your internal rhythms and go to bed at 7:30 if that's what your body/mind needs. I want you to lounge on the floor by the fire and do stretches that in no way resemble yoga poses but feel really good in your body. I want you to spend time with your friends + family and actually be in the room with them, fully there, and not feel the pull of your devices. 

How do you make that happen? Here are 3 very basic steps to take in order to scale back: 

1. Set aside some time to reevaluate your current schedule and time commitments: Make a list of the scheduled things that you have to do each week (work, take your kids to school, walk your dog, go to therapy, whatever). Then, make a list of the scheduled things that you have opted into or have the choice whether or not to do (even if it feels like you don't have a choice, you probably do). 

2. Identify what feeds you: Look at your list of non-mandatory activities/commitments and circle the things that you LOVE, the things that feed you or that are meaningful to you in one of the following ways: emotionally, spiritually, mentally, physically, or financially. 

3. Identify what doesn't feed you and take action: Look at what's left on your list--the non-circled things that aren't feeding you right now--and take one of the two following actions with each of these commitments. 

• Just quit. Step down, let it go, give it the old heave-ho. I talked to a friend last night who had recently quit everything--she was on numerous boards and involved in a number of organizations and she just resigned from all of them. She said she was "choosing herself," which I found to be very profound and very freeing. 
  
  I've shared this quote before and I'll share it again (by Osayi Osar-Emokpae):
  
  “Quitting is not giving up, it's choosing to focus your attention on something more important. Quitting is not losing confidence, it's realizing that there are more valuable ways you can spend your time. Quitting is not making excuses, it's learning to be more productive, efficient and effective instead. Quitting is letting go of things (or people) that are sucking the life out of you so you can do more things that will bring you strength.”
  
  
• Take a break. Lets say you teach a free weekly yoga class that you really enjoy teaching. Or you're the head of a professional organization that you're passionate about. Or you volunteer once per week. But lately, each time that you get ready to go fulfill your commitment, you feel exhausted, resentful, or like you'd rather be doing something else. These feelings don't mean that you need to fully quit that activity, but they might mean that you need to take a break from it for a while, or just for a season, until you have the bandwidth to once again give yourself over to that time commitment.
  
  

If you go through these 3 steps and they lead you to find even one thing that you can take off of your plate, I'd say that the exercise was a success!

Scaling back often means just admitting to yourself that you need to finally give up that thing that you've been lying to yourself about for months--or making a tough decision to live according to your values instead of your expectations (or other people's expectations of you). 

I'll keep you posted on how I decide to scale back as I figure it out (I always struggle with this), and I hope you'll do the same!

Good luck with the process...you can do it.