{Essay Submission} Why I Broke Up With the Gym

Last week, I received a reader essay submission that really spoke to me. As I read it, I felt like I was reading about my own experiences/past relationship with the gym, and it resonated so much that I knew I had to share it with you. 

So today, I'm excited to share this personal essay with you, written by one of my former students + fellow Tranquil Space front desk colleagues, Carolina Valle [of the blog Yoga Pants & Heels--how great is that name?]...

Why I Broke Up With the Gym

If you knew me in college, then you probably knew where to find me after class, most Saturday mornings, and anytime I bailed on a social activity: at the gym. 

I went at least 6 days/week, and it took something really important to make me miss the 7th day. The gym and I were inseparable. But like many real relationships, this one was a dysfunctional union founded on dependency, guilt, and negative feelings that kept me going back.

I’m sure that back then I justified my slight obsession with the gym as a way to stay healthy and release stress...but what drove me to that place every single day were really two emotions: the fear of gaining weight and the notion that not going meant I was lazy. And those are the wrong reasons, especially for this mildly Type-A perfectionist. I firmly believe in all of the benefits of exercise and it is still a big part of my life, but the environment at the gym simply wasn’t good for me. 

For starters, I had body image issues. Hanging around people obsessed with calories burned, body fat percentage, and 6-pack abs was probably not helping the situation. I also had a distorted notion of success and productivity – the idea of non-doing or doing anything half-assed was simply ridiculous to me.

The gym can be a healthy commitment for some people, an opportunity to practice sticking with a routine and working towards a goal.

However, back then, my life was literally made up of commitments and goals and I never gave myself a break. Sure, I was pretty darn fit, but I felt trapped. I hung so tightly to the things I thought I HAD to do in order to be successful that I never let go and just had fun, never experienced the guiltless, blissful joy that makes you realize that life is more than grades, resumes, and the size of your jeans. 

For me, the gym was yet another outlet for self-criticism, unfavorable comparisons to others, and pushing beyond a healthy edge.

So finally, at around age 27, after a whole-lotta personal reflection and growth, I broke up with the gym.

Today, I have a stressful job that takes up a lot of my time. I have a house and a dog and bills and all of the responsibilities that come with being an adult. With so many things that I HAVE to do, why add one more DUTY to the list? 

I love to be active, to get my limbs moving and my heart rate up, but I like getting my exercise in ways that nurture not only my body, but my mind and soul as well--a long walk in the park, a yoga class, or a game of sand volleyball with friends. I look for activities, friendships, and environments that reinforce self-love, acceptance, joy, and remind me of what’s really important. 

You can do anything, but you can’t do everything…and there are so many things I would rather do than run on the treadmill day after day.

Want to connect with Carolina? Check out her fabulous blog and/or follow her on Twitter, @doyogainheels. 

Image credit: Normanack on Flickr. Creative Commons License.