I've found that before any big life change, there's a weird shift that occurs, a strange feeling that starts to slowly descend and settle in, hanging over your daily activities, like fog rolling in on a misty morning.
I most recently recognize this feeling from the months before we moved to the Cape--when we weren't able to do much yet but pack a box here and there--but we had our move date, knew life was about to change in a big way, and yet, were still living our "old life" as if nothing was about to change. I also remember this feeling settling in during the summer before heading to college, during the final weeks of college before entering the real world, before getting married, and before my moves to both New York and then DC. In the past I've called this time period Limbo, which I think adequately sums up the in-betweenness of the space that passes from the time you decide to make a huge change and the actual change, and I've always found it to be such an interesting place in which to function. You wake up, eat breakfast, go about your day, workout, practice yoga, do your laundry, do the dishes, and as you move through all of these familiar routines, in the back of your mind you're aware that all of these things are about to shift. That in a short period of time, doing the dishes will be totally different because you'll be in a new place with a slightly different schedule, even if they are the same dishes and you're the same you. I always experience a nagging feeling that I should be doing more to prepare for The Big Life Change that's coming up, but there's never enough time to prepare in the ways that I would want to, and frankly, if I had more time to obsess over the change, I could easily go a little crazy with anxiety, excitement, or some mixture of both. And while this time around, as we prepare for welcoming our baby in 8-ish weeks, I'm still feeling all of these familiar Limbo feelings, it also feels really different, because I'm preparing for what I hear is one of the biggest life changes you can ever make--a change that has, arguably, some of the most lasting effects and uncontrollable outcomes. When you move, you have no idea what your life will look like when you get there, but you know that some of the major things will stay the same: you'll wake up and go to bed at fairly similar times, you'll have a somewhat recognizable daily routine (even if it does shift a little), you'll work a similar amount of hours (probably), you'll do similar sorts of things on the weekends. Etc. But when you're preparing for life with a baby? You have NO CLUE. Will you sleep? When will you go back to work? When you do go back, will you have the same drive, energy, brain-power? Will this current sense of "normal" ever exist again? [I hear that it won't.] Will your core strength ever come back? [Yoga-related worry, I know...] It's a pretty wild place to be living in, especially as I go about my days as if everything is the same (albeit with the extra baby-related to-dos, the swiftly-growing body, and the slowing energy). So, while I am trying my best to enjoy these last few baby-free weeks in Limbo (and, as everyone recommends, sleep as much as possible), I'm also fully aware of the weirdness of this time, of the fog that's rolling in, and of the comforting sameness + predictability of my current daily life--which hasn't changed yet and is helping me to stay as present and grounded as possible during a time like this. What about you: are you gearing up for a big change or have you recently undergone one? Do you know what I'm talking about here? For those who have gone through similar changes, I'd love any tips you could share on how to make the most of Limbo while still preparing for the future... I'm sure you don't want to hear this broken record, but sleep! Maybe you'll have a baby that sleeps thru the night at 2 weeks and that's great, but enjoy sweet uninterrupted sleep now! Also, hang out with your husband - go on dates, see a movie, do fun fun stuff. Get a pedicure. Get your hair done. Do things that make you feel good. Life does resume normalcy fairly quickly (though it seems like forever) but the little things you can do now to make yourself feel good and happy will help make it easier. I personally did not want to give birth with nasty toes so I hauled my butt to the nail place on my due date, got some side eye but happily delivered my guy the next day with fresh feet! haha <3
Mary Catherine
6/23/2016 05:35:17 am
This is such great advice, Andrea! Thank you! And so glad to hear that life does resume normalcy (whatever that is) fairly quickly...thank you for the wisdom. And yay for a pedicure on your due date, hahah! xoxo
Kat
6/22/2016 11:11:05 am
My thoughts completely, so take them as you may but after having two...
i also hate the sleep when baby sleeps thing. sham!!! my guy didn't take proper scheduled naps until 4 months. i could never sleep when he did in the beginning. it was too hard.
Mary Catherine
6/23/2016 05:37:26 am
Haha, yes! Catching up on Netflix sounds like a blast! ;)
Mary Catherine
6/23/2016 05:36:51 am
Thanks for sharing your experience and thoughts, Kat! This is really helpful and definitely puts my mind at ease. Watching fabulous women like you have babies (two!) and come out on the other side just as amazing as before definitely gives me hope for the future! xoxo Not an expert, but I'm pregnant with #2 so I'd like to echo what others have said that you will have normalcy back and it will be a better normalcy that you ever could've imagined. I hated when people told me to sleep when I was pregnant the first time. It was near impossible for me especially at the end and it just stressed me out. Honestly, those early nights are going to be long LONG and thinking "well at least I slept before" is not going to make you feel better anyway. Remember that day you talked about on your podcast where you went to the beach and then just relaxed all day? Those are the days to have now if you can manage it. You'll still do house projects, and work (more efficiently), and have core strength, but for awhile you will not have FULL days that are just all about what you want to do and relaxing (at least for a little while). That, I think is worth prioritizing now :) You are going to be a great a mom! Comments are closed.
|
HELLO!I'm Mary Catherine, a Cape Cod-based yoga teacher, painter, designer, writer, mom, and list-maker extraordinaire. My goal is to inspire you to start living a more creative, simple, joyful, + purposeful life.
{Learn more + read my story}
|