Over the past 10 years or so, I've become a big believer in the idea that for the most part, things happen for a reason. Not everything--I know I don't want to go that far--but many things, especially the things that determine our life journey, where we go, and what we do.
In my own life, there have been many legs of my journey that I can only guess happened so that I would end up where I am today:
And there are little examples of things happening for a reason, too, that take place on a smaller scale in our everyday lives. For example, three weeks ago (remember my "tough week?"), this happened: Ben was out in the front yard playing ball with Sayde, as always. I think I've mentioned it before, but Sayde has some aggression issues when it comes to other dogs, and her issues are always worse when we're on our turf, aka "her territory." As Ben was throwing the ball for her, a woman started walking down our street with her dog. Sayde started barking uncontrollably at them as they approached, and as Ben tried to get her under control, she launched her 11-pound body over our fence (we didn't know she could do this!) and attacked the dog. Needless to say, the dog's owner and Ben were freaking out. Eventually, Ben got Sayde under control and threw her into the house. Luckily, her tiny little mouth and tiny little teeth didn't even break the other dog's skin, but everyone was pretty shaken up. Sayde The Attack Dog? No thanks. The next day, I was working on the couch, still in my PJs (whoops), and the police showed up. The neighbor had called the police on Sayde, despite her assurances that things were fine the night before. Sigh. Although it was scary to have the police on our front step, the Officer was nice about it and recommended a trainer that we should call who works with "aggressive dogs." As you can imagine, all of this was really upsetting. Sayde is basically our child and having a problem child is not easy. What's even worse is that it felt really scary--if Sayde attacked the wrong dog, she could be killed. If Sayde really hurt a dog, she could be put down by the State. All of this is a long way of saying that I think these things happen for a reason. Three weeks and 11 private training sessions with the Police Dog trainer later, and Sayde is a different dog. She still has a ways to go, but much of her aggression and barking is under control. We now know how to control her when we come across other dogs while we're out walking--she's learning that she doesn't have to protect us and we're learning how to tell her that. It's amazing. But we never would have learned ANY of this if Sayde hadn't attacked that dog in the first place, and if that woman hadn't called the police, who in turn, recommended this trainer (we never would have found him, as he doesn't usually work with pets!). So, this recent incident has again bolstered my opinion that many things happen for a reason, and that often, when it's hard to see why something negative is happening, if you can just hold on, something good might come out of it. Or you'll learn something or grow in some way while dealing with it. You can call it whatever you want--Karma, the Universe, God's plan, or something else entirely--but it can be pretty magical when you look at life in this way. However, I think it's important to note that I have a hard time saying that great traumas or tragedies or losses happen for a reason. Maybe they do, maybe they don't, but it doesn't feel right to use this statement as an answer for everything. And I often have a problem with people using it in a halfhearted, cover-up-your-feelings sort of way, too. Do I think murder and rape happen for a reason? No, I don't. Do I think genocide or school shootings happen for a reason? No. Do I know why these things happen? Of course not. So yes, there are holes in my belief in this idea, but I'm okay with that. Maybe it isn't logical, maybe it doesn't fit in with any sort of system, and I'm okay with that, too. I prefer to look at the sunny side of life--to examine how things change us and where life takes us--but I guess if you've been reading this blog for a while, you probably already knew that ;) What do you think? Are there examples--on a small or large scale--of things seeming to happen for a reason in your life? I think it's worth thinking about... I'm right there with you Mary Catherine! I also believe things happen for a reason (aside from tragedies, traumas, losses etc. as you mentioned above). It is hard to see the big picture during the tough times, but keeping a positive attitude and finding a healthy release (such as yoga) can help carry you through! Glad you are in such a good place :) 8/21/2014 08:56:36 am
I love this piece. I think we are given these opportunities and we have a choice. Some people would have pouted in DC:) or not trained their dog:) or well, you know. Comments are closed.
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HELLO!I'm Mary Catherine, a Cape Cod-based yoga teacher, painter, designer, writer, mom, and list-maker extraordinaire. My goal is to inspire you to start living a more creative, simple, joyful, + purposeful life.
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