It's time to take a step back. It's time to mark through an upcoming event or two on your calendar, or, if you're one of those new-fangled people who keep your planner in an app (Who are you? I don't understand you!), delete an event or two on your phone. 

​I don't know about you, but I'm feeling the seasonal pull to scale back big time and I don't want to ignore it. 

I got back from Italy late Saturday night, and because I knew I'd be jet-lagged and out of sorts, I had gotten a sub for my Sunday morning class. Without realizing it, for the first time in almost two years, I'd set myself up to enjoy a weekend morning on Cape Cod without teaching a yoga class. 

Ben and I "slept in" until about 7:30 and had a lovely morning together around the house. We went and got breakfast at a delicious new brunch spot. We took Sayde on a long walk in the cold. We installed a few of our new outdoor light fixtures. And then we did Sunday chores, made an early dinner together, sat by the fire, watched a TV show, and got into bed by 8:30.

It was so lovely words can't even describe. I didn't work (well, I sent a couple of emails, but that's it!), I didn't have anything I needed to do at any specific time, and I was able to really enjoy Ben's company. 

Sounds simple and pretty straightforward, doesn't it? Well, it isn't. And I'm willing to bet that many of you struggle to find days like this, too--days with nothing scheduled and no big to-dos, days where you don't feel pulled in 50 directions, days where you can just be in your life and actually enjoy the basic act of living. 

So, experiencing a day like Sunday, coupled with a week spent in Italy where everything moves more slowly and life is all about enjoying sensory pleasures (the food + wine, OMG!), was just the kick-in-the-pants that I needed to think about scaling back. I don't know exactly what that means for me right now, but I'm thinking about it quite a bit and hoping to make some changes--even very small ones--in the coming months in order to create a bit more space in my daily life. 

And thus, my charge to you: I want to encourage you to think about scaling back, too, so that you can experience some very basic days this fall [and winter]. I want you to listen to your internal rhythms and go to bed at 7:30 if that's what your body/mind needs. I want you to lounge on the floor by the fire and do stretches that in no way resemble yoga poses but feel really good in your body. I want you to spend time with your friends + family and actually be in the room with them, fully there, and not feel the pull of your devices. 

How do you make that happen? Here are 3 very basic steps to take in order to scale back: 

1. Set aside some time to reevaluate your current schedule and time commitments: Make a list of the scheduled things that you have to do each week (work, take your kids to school, walk your dog, go to therapy, whatever). Then, make a list of the scheduled things that you have opted into or have the choice whether or not to do (even if it feels like you don't have a choice, you probably do). 

2. Identify what feeds you: Look at your list of non-mandatory activities/commitments and circle the things that you LOVE, the things that feed you or that are meaningful to you in one of the following ways: emotionally, spiritually, mentally, physically, or financially. 

3. Identify what doesn't feed you and take action: Look at what's left on your list--the non-circled things that aren't feeding you right now--and take one of the two following actions with each of these commitments. 

• Just quit. Step down, let it go, give it the old heave-ho. I talked to a friend last night who had recently quit everything--she was on numerous boards and involved in a number of organizations and she just resigned from all of them. She said she was "choosing herself," which I found to be very profound and very freeing. 
  
  I've shared this quote before and I'll share it again (by Osayi Osar-Emokpae):
  
  “Quitting is not giving up, it's choosing to focus your attention on something more important. Quitting is not losing confidence, it's realizing that there are more valuable ways you can spend your time. Quitting is not making excuses, it's learning to be more productive, efficient and effective instead. Quitting is letting go of things (or people) that are sucking the life out of you so you can do more things that will bring you strength.”
  
  
• Take a break. Lets say you teach a free weekly yoga class that you really enjoy teaching. Or you're the head of a professional organization that you're passionate about. Or you volunteer once per week. But lately, each time that you get ready to go fulfill your commitment, you feel exhausted, resentful, or like you'd rather be doing something else. These feelings don't mean that you need to fully quit that activity, but they might mean that you need to take a break from it for a while, or just for a season, until you have the bandwidth to once again give yourself over to that time commitment.
  
  

If you go through these 3 steps and they lead you to find even one thing that you can take off of your plate, I'd say that the exercise was a success!

Scaling back often means just admitting to yourself that you need to finally give up that thing that you've been lying to yourself about for months--or making a tough decision to live according to your values instead of your expectations (or other people's expectations of you). 

I'll keep you posted on how I decide to scale back as I figure it out (I always struggle with this), and I hope you'll do the same!

Good luck with the process...you can do it.

In part, I blame my speed issues on my dad and brothers. 

They move really slowly, have no concept of time, and are often late wherever they're going. As a responsible, Type-A person, even as a child, I was always concerned with being on time. I wanted to be at school early, at the party when it started, at practice before it began so that I could chat with my friends before we took off running sprints. 

Being a child of divorced parents, I have dozens of memories of school mornings spent at my dad's house, waiting in the the car or sitting by the front door, my clothes laid out the night before and my book-bag packed, waiting for my dad and brothers as they ran around the house looking for things.

Because they were so slow, I naturally decided to fill the role of designated speed demon and family hurrier/timekeeper, in order to make up for their tardiness and get everyone moving and out the door.

Often, I would sit in the car, honking the horn as I watched them straggle out, one by one, backpack half-open, books falling out, shoes in hand, while my stress levels rose higher + higher and I yelled, "Come on! Lets go! Hurry up!" out the window.

My dad jokes that "LETS GO" will be inscribed on my gravestone. 

So obviously, if you asked my closest friends and family to describe me using basic adjectives, a word that they would not use is patient. It's not that I'm super impatient, per se (Although I think my brothers would probably disagree with this statement), but patience is definitely not one of my primary virtues.

Ever since I can remember, I've had an internal need for speed. I drive too fast (Especially compared to Ben, who is notorious for being the world's slowest 32-year old male driver), I'm a fast worker, I eat quickly, and when it comes to household chores, I think done is better than perfect. 

When I have an idea for a new project, I want it completed and launched yesterday, and for the most part (work-wise), this has led me to be much more productive (And admittedly, more stressed out + crazy) than had I not developed this internal lead foot. 

One of my constant nagging fears when driving from studio to studio is the thought that I might get pulled over for speeding on my way to teach yoga. Wouldn't that be ironic? [However, I'll tell you that it wouldn't be the first time that a yoga teacher got pulled over for speeding. In fact, Seane Corn just posted a funny anecdote about her experience being pulled over this week!] 

But when it comes to yoga, or at least my own practice, my need for speed bumps up against something else--a desire for more stillness, a need to slow down, a little more patience. I've got these internal conflicting forces, and it's been interesting to watch them play out through my practice over the years. 

When I first started practicing, all I wanted was fast-paced vinyasa. The more energetic, challenging, and quick-paced the sequence, the better. I was not interested in holding poses; I wanted to flow! And as a newer teacher, my classes reflected that urge.

Over the years, as my breathing has slowed and my body has gotten creakier (I know this sounds ridiculous, but it has!), my practice has slowed down. I still love a few minutes of intense movement to heat the body, but I want my flows with a little bit of slo-mo on the side, thankyouverymuch.

The thing that people often get wrong about yogis--and I've written about this before--is that they're all totally blissed out, zen, floating through life in a spiritual bubble, talking like this. 

But we're not! We get speeding tickets, we get angry, we overindulge and push too hard and sometimes we get hurt because of it. One of my favorite examples EVER? When a beloved private client cut me off in traffic once (true story!)! Because we're all just regular old people trying our best and often getting it wrong. Yoga doesn't magically "fix" that. 

So in summary, we've all got our things and one of my things is moving too fast because I want to get it all done 5 minutes ago. I'm working on it, and I hope that through my yoga practice, I can continue to slow down both in my flows and more importantly, in my life. 

And I hope that it doesn't take actually getting a speeding ticket on my way to teach yoga in order to learn this lesson, but you know what? It might. And at least I can see it for what it is. I think I'm moving in the right direction, even if I am doing it slowly... 

Oh, and I should mention that the only thing that I actually do do slowly is learn life lessons and make long-lasting changes.

Go figure ;) 

I've been working on an eBook (my very first!) since January. I've been excited about it since the day I started writing, but I've had a hard time finding the time to complete it. There have been moments of inspiration and stolen hours here and there, but on top of everything else I'm doing--projects and tasks with more concrete deadlines--it has continually been pushed to the back-burner.

Before Costa Rica, my plan was to use the downtime on this retreat to write. I thought, if I put my mind to it, I can complete this book on the retreat. I was aware that I would also need to schedule some relaxation and downtime, but I had a whole plan for how that would look and feel prior to traveling down there.

However, when I got to Costa Rica, I found that I had no inspiration to write. If I wasn't teaching or leading a mixed media session, all I wanted to do was rock in a hammock or spread out by the pool and read fiction. 

So, that's exactly what I did. I spent the first 3 days of the trip just relaxing when I had free time. I tried to let go of the nagging feeling that I should be writing and just went with it. 

And wouldn't you know? By day 4, I was ready to go. I finished the first draft of the book in just a few hours one afternoon (typing while in a hammock in the shade, of course!).

On my two flights home, I found that I still had the energy and inspiration to work. No longer zonked out on the plane as I was on the way there, I started formatting my eBook and designing the cover while somewhere above Nicaragua. It felt so good to have found the inspiration that I needed to move this project towards completion, and the shift that I felt within one week was profound.

But you know what I realized yesterday, as I slowly eased back into life at home? Slowing down is what enabled me to become re-inspired and re-invigorated. 

It was the pace of life, not the removal from it, that created the space I needed. 

All of the things that felt overwhelming and stressful before I left now feel exciting and inspiring. I can't wait to get back to work and I know that I'm going to be way more productive this week than I would have been over the past two weeks combined, simply because I allowed myself the time to slow down while away. 

Let me be clear--the point I'm trying  to make is that it wasn't necessarily removing myself from my usual surroundings that allowed me to recharge, although that certainly helped, and it wasn't being on vacation that did it, because I was still leading sessions + classes each day, answering emails, and blogging--it was slowing down. 

It was spending a couple of days without phone alerts chiming every second (even though I still checked email and social media multiple times per day), it was going to bed around 8:30 and waking up with the sun between 5-6am, it was reading when that's all I felt like doing and then being aware enough to feel when my mind + body was ready to work again. Basically, it was tuning into my body's rhythms and moving through the day at a less hectic pace 

What I learned from this trip was not that getting away is amazing and inspiring in itself (Although it is, but I knew that already!); Instead, I learned that there is a true magic to be found in slowing down--and how, in doing so, you can actually increase your productivity in the longterm.

So, my advice to those of you reading who want to increase your productivity?  S l o w   w a y   d o w n. 

Do one thing at a time, give yourself a day with only designated technology use times, take a personal day to sleep in or lounge around in your PJs, and if everything in you says to go to bed or read a book instead of work, do it (if you can). 

You'll thank yourself later. 

Hope your week is productive + a bit slower than usual!

*Oh, and if you want to be one of the first people to know about my eBook when it is officially announced (hopefully very soon!), sign up for my newsletter. My June edition is going out tomorrow, so if you sign up today, you'll be just in time to receive your first note ;) 

Last night, Sayde woke me up at midnight to go the the bathroom. I was angry at her, as I stomped down the stairs in a sleep-filled haze, because she hadn't gone when I'd walked her around [forever] before going to bed just a few hours earlier. 

As I shuffled around the yard in my PJs, bleary-eyed and dizzy with sleep, I was frustrated. I felt so much anger towards our sweet little dog, who has been waking us up *quite* frequently in the middle night lately, and I felt this anger rising up and starting to takeover my mind. 

And then, as I became more aware of what was happening inside of me, I made a conscious decision to practice gratitude, instead; I thought of some good friends who have recently lost their dog, the love of their lives. I thought about how much they would give to be taking him out in the middle of the night, or just to take him out for a couple more nights, and my anger disappeared.

Instead, I felt so grateful to have such a loving, healthy, entertaining little pup in my life. I felt so grateful to be taking her out at midnight. 

Although I didn't, I could have taken this gratitude even further: I'm so grateful that taking Sayde out in the middle of the night means just stumbling out my front door and into my yard, instead of getting dressed to go down an elevator inside a big building, or out onto an unsafe street or neighborhood. I'm so glad that she woke me up so sweetly, with loving little licks, instead of just going to the bathroom inside the house. I'm so grateful that I have this dog who is training me to [hopefully] become a better mom someday, by forcing me to learn that sleep isn't always as important as taking care of the ones you love. 

As you can see from this little story, gratitude is powerful. It took me from a place of anger and frustration to a place of appreciation and awareness in just a few moments. We all know this is possible, yet we forget about it during the nitty gritty details of our daily lives. Or at least I do, on most occasions.

I wish I could say that I'm this mindful and grateful all the time, but I'm not. Over the course of a day, I forget to practice gratitude and look at the big picture, because I get bogged down in the minutia of life. 

But this same practice can apply to anything, really.

You may have a super obnoxious client that is driving you up the wall. But wow, isn't it wonderful that you have your own business and that you got this client on your own?

Your boss may be making you really angry, but isn't it incredible that you found a job that you love so much, or that pays so well, or that you have a boss who is really great and understanding 95% of the time?

You may be really stressed out by everything that you have going on in your life, but goodness, aren't you lucky to have so many opportunities, to be involved in so many things you're passionate about, and to be filled with such purpose?

You may have tons of work to do on your new house--and feel really overwhelmed by it--but OMG, you bought your first  house!?!?

I know that gratitude practice might just sound like being annoyingly positive, or, always trying to "look on the bright side" or become a glass-is-half-full kind of person, but it's more than that. 

It's catching yourself in the process of getting heated, angry, stressed, frustrated, or dejected about something. It's about being mindful and aware, and then taking the time to shift your thinking. Or at least give it a bit more perspective.

Practicing gratitude doesn't mean that you can't still be angry or stressed, or that you Pollyanna your way through life. It means that you're fully aware of negative feelings and how they're affecting you, and you make a conscious choice to bring positive feelings into the mix, too, in order to dilute those negative feelings.

You take the time to see the good things that surround a stressful situation, and perhaps, you give those good things a bit more weight in order to tip the scales, or find more balance. 

Does that make sense? It can be so hard to remember, but I think that introducing more gratitude into your daily life is one of the most profound ways to change your thinking, your outlook, and your experience of living. 

I urge you to try practicing gratitude today, and see how it feels. It's pretty spectacular. 

Helllooooo! It's amazing to be back in this space! I was excited to roll out of bed [at 5:30am, ruh roh] and get back to blogging this morning. It made this first day back to reality much easier. 

As you probably know, I just took 11 days off from blogging--the longest break I've EVER taken (!?)--and it was much needed. I used this time to visit with my family, celebrate, relax a bit, set intentions for the New Year, focus on teaching, and do some behind-the-scenes work on a new project (more on this coming soon...). 

I figured that although I wouldn't be blogging over the break, I'd be very connected on social media. I told you to follow me on Instagram to see pics of my travels and celebrations, and I honestly planned to be super active. 

But you know what happened? I did the opposite. I kinda dropped off the face of the social media earth for a while. It wasn't intentional, but it just went that way. 

Did you notice? Did you care? Did you decide to stop reading my blog because I didn't post pics on Christmas morning? Did it affect you in any way?

No? I didn't think so. And that's what I tried to remember as I ignored the nagging voice that said I should be posting a pic of the cookies that we just baked, as we pulled them out of the oven. Or that I should take a quick snapshot of the cute wrapping paper before I opened the present. 

We all know that if you're a solopreneur, a business owner, an artist, a blogger, a yoga teacher, you should be on social media and you should be active. This is now a given. You need to promote your events, services, products, and connect with your students or clients or shoppers. 

However, that doesn't mean that you can't take a few days away from social media. It doesn't mean that you can't turn off to be present with the people and experiences that you love. 

This is what I struggled with over the break. 

Throughout the holidays, as I was living an experience, I had this nagging feeling that I should be capturing this. I held my cousin's adorable baby and looked into his cute little face, and later, when I'd handed him off to someone else, I thought, Oh no, I forgot to get a pic with Porter! 

I went on a walk in the woods with my mom, leaving my phone in the car because I didn't have a pocket, and when we got to a river I thought, Oh, this would be such a pretty instagram! I should have carried my phone! After Christmas Eve and Christmas morning, I judged myself for not taking any pics of the scenes. In fact, I only have one pic of me and Ben together from the entire holiday season, and I hate it that I didn't do a better job capturing it. 

But I lived it. And that has to count for something, right? 

So basically, in a nutshell, here's what I experienced: Social Media wanted to steal my ability to be present over the holidays. It would whisper in my ear, "You should share this moment--it doesn't really count unless it's documented and posted," and for a minute, Social Media would succeed in taking me away from the moment. My mind would leave the room and I would think about taking a pic or posting, I would mull it over for a second or two, and then I would choose to say no, to leave my phone in my purse. Because I think that's what I needed. I just needed to be off the grid for a while. 

Does this resonate? Do you feel this constant pressure to post an experience as you're experiencing it? And does this pressure take away from that experience? 

I'm guessing yes. It's like when I went whale watching last summer, and there were these amazingly beautiful, breathtaking whales breaching right in front of us, and half of the people on the boat were experiencing the whales through their phone screens, missing out on the actual experience of seeing the whales, just so that they could document it. 

I don't want to see my life through a lens, I really don't. 

So here's my *small* 2015 wish for you: I hope that this year, you can spend more time actually living your life, and less time living it through a filter. 

And I hope you'll forgive me for being so MIA on your feeds over the past 11 days ;)

Happy 2015, everyone! 

As far back as I can remember--at least as far back as elementary school or so--I've been a "hard worker." 

Somewhere along the way I decided that I was smart enough, but not as smart as I could be, so I concluded that in order to succeed and stand out in this world, I would need to rely on my ability to work harder than others; I decided that my ability to push past the point of exhaustion and my perfectionistic tendencies would get me where I wanted to go (wherever that was), so I dug my heels in and got to work.

And then I worked and worked and worked and worked. 

Fast forward to now, and my trust and belief in hard work has become a double-edged sword. My drive to keep going almost all day, every day, has helped me get to a point where I'm self-sufficient and living the kind of life that I want to live, but it has also left me feeling that it's never enough (and at many points, pretty depleted and overwhelmed, too).  

I think this is something that many women of my generation experience. I saw it acutely when I moved to New York after college. I remember having an epiphany one day after getting out of a meeting; The meeting was with with some buyers from a big media company, and it was a meeting made up entirely of smart, hard-working women, just like most of my meetings were in those days.

I left this meeting and started thinking about my experiences in the marketing + advertising industry in New York. I thought about my roommate and friends, all of whom were working their asses off, trying to prove themselves in their respective industries, and I realized that young, hard-working women were literally everywhere, and that they were running the city (or as Queen Bey would put it, "Who run the world? Girls."). 

[Let me be clear, this is not to say that there aren't just as many hard-working men out there, I'm just writing from the female experience.] 

Similarly, since moving on and into different fields (arguably, more female-centric fields), I've been amazed at all of the hard-working women that I've come across. The ones who stand out to me, those running small, unknown-to-most-of-the-world empires (and I call them that because on a small scale, they are!), are all women who know how to work and work and work and hardly ever stop.

They have a never-ending internal drive and I admire them for that. But I also know that this kind of drive is a dangerous, slippery slope. 

The lives of all of the hard workers that I know are a constant struggle to find balance. We fight the inner battle between wanting to work all the time (because we think that's the only way) and wanting to spend time with loved ones and actually live our lives. 

We [I] write blog posts about slowing down and enjoying the holiday season, and right after doing so, rush back to work and spend the next 7 days working 12-hour days and attending events in between those hours. 

Does our need to work harder than others come from some deep, innate need to prove ourselves because we're women? I'm not sure, but I believe it must be a part of the equation. I've had this drive for so long--and since I was so young--that I have no idea where it comes from; All I know is that it's real, and that I'm not the only one who has it. 

I think that whether or not this internal drive--this need to workworkwork--is a blessing or a curse, is up to the individual who experiences it. It can become the thing that causes you to work your life away, or it can become the thing that helps you create a life that enables you to live the way that you want to live. 

We have to power to choose which path this drive will take us down, but we have to be aware of this drive before we can work with it. I know that this need to keep going is a part of who I am (and I know it's a part of who many of you are, too), and I think that learning to work with it is the only way to be content. 

So what does this mean? It means that our real life's work is to continually check-in and try to find balance. To train yourself to stop working when, in the words of my dad (when I used to ask him what he thought of my projects or papers), "You passed A+ hours ago."

What do you think, all you hard working ladies out there? If you examine your internal need to keep going, where do you think it comes from? And how can you live your life so that this drive is a blessing, not a curse? 

Something to ponder as we move towards a new year...

I've always been easily swayed by numbers. Although not a number-cruncher, per se (math is not my strong suit), if I hear that I should be living within or above or below a certain number--of steps, of calories, of hours of sleep, of pounds--I will do whatever I can to meet that number. 

Like David Sedaris and his Fitbit, I find that our society's new ability to measure *almost* everything has been both eye-opening and at times, debilitating for me.

No, I have not yet gotten to the point where I'm running in place next to my bed to get my last 1,000 steps for the day (I know many people who have!), but I have taken my dog on an unusual evening walk or two, just to "give her a little more exercise" before going to sleep.

At different times in my life, I've been obsessed with various numbers and the measurements of those numbers. In high school, I was obsessed with the numbers that determined my appearance. I was a crazy calorie counter and scale watcher; I would weigh myself multiple times per day,  and even a tiny difference in weight could send me into a tailspin.

In college, I was obsessed with the numbers that determined my "achievements." I was crazy concerned with my grades, my GPA, the number of activities I was involved in, and how many hours were left in the day, so that I could get everything done and still have time to go out at night (it was college, after all!). 

When I lived in New York, the numbers that ruled my life were more related to money--to paying my exorbitant rent, to having enough to buy a ticket to go visit Ben each month, to going out to expensive dinners with friends without breaking the bank. 

And now, years later, the numbers that often get in my head have changed, in part because of how easy it is to measure everything now, and in part because of the "industries" in which I'm involved. 

Whether I like it or not, I must measure the number of people in my yoga classes and the number of classes that I teach each week. I must measure the number of visits my website gets every day, the number of "likes" I have on Facebook, the number of followers I have on Instagram, the number of paintings that I sell each month.

I can see which blog posts are most shared and most liked, I can see which classes are doing best, and I can calculate my monthly earnings--which are always in flux--by just looking at various numbers. Having so many numbers to monitor is a crazy thing to deal with, and if I'm not careful, I can get pretty obsessed.

But don't get me wrong, sometimes numbers can be really helpful. They can be a great way to set boundaries or limits for yourself ("I can teach no more than __ yoga classes per week if I want to stay sane," "I can spend no more than ___ dollars per month if I want to stay within my budget," etc.). They're a great way to set goals ("I will run ___ times per week to train for this race"), and they're a great way to measure your growth as a person or a business. 

It's just that they can also cause priority confusion.

For instance, if you start a blog because you love to write and want to create a community, you can lose sight of that intention when you start watching the numbers of page views go up and down every day. Or if you create art because you love it, but you can measure which types of work get the most hits on Etsy, you can lose sight of your real creative urges and become a sales factory.

Or if you want to start exercising to get healthier, but you measure your weight, you can forget about enjoying it or figuring out what healthy means, and instead get caught up in the number of pounds lost (which we all know is misleading, since muscle weighs more than fat!). 

In my own life, I've had to work to strike a balance, but it's a constant struggle and I've had to take steps to prevent being too ruled by the numbers.

I stopped weighing myself years ago, and haven't had a scale in my house/room since 2003 (except for that one year when I lived with roommate who had one in the bathroom). I don't use the calorie counting part of my Fitbit. I look at my website visits once per day and then I'm done with it. I try my best to be aware of my interest in these  numbers, but it's hard. [Especially when your husband is also easily obsessed with numbers and is constantly asking you where you stand in all of these areas...]  

Where are you on the number spectrum? Can you relate to some of these issues?

Whether you're easily ruled by the numbers or not, I encourage you to take a look at your relationship with numbers in your own life. Where are numbers making you healthier and happier, and where are they causing you to lose sight of what's important? Are you focusing on the number instead of the experience? How could you switch things around? 

As we all know, the numbers don't lie, but I think that often, our interpretations of those numbers do.

I hope that by looking a little closer at your relationship with numbers, you can find a bit of freedom from some of those internal lies that you might be telling yourself. 

And like everything else in life, I think that numbers are best consumed in moderation. Go figure, eh? 

Last week, I was talking to a new student before one of my yoga classes. She had only practiced once before, and I was inquiring about her experience and just doing a general check-in. 

I asked, "Do you have any injuries or anything I should be aware of when assisting you?" To which she replied, "Nope, I'm just fat and disgusting." 

She said it with such nonchalance that I was caught off guard. She was not fat and disgusting (of course she wasn't!), and her comfort in stating this made it clear that she says this to herself all the time--that she takes it as fact because it's a constant tape rolling in the back of her mind.

I was heartbroken for her, but I was also heartbroken for all of us--we all put ourselves down in our heads, some just do it with more vigor than others. 

At the times in our lives when we're feeling a little less confident than usual, or maybe a little depressed or discouraged, this internal conversation often gets louder and more frequent. It can be hard to notice this mental dialogue because it comes so naturally and can just seep into your emotional landscape over time, without your being aware of it.

I had a therapist once who worked with me a lot on noticing what I was saying to myself in my head, and it was really crazy to start listening to this conversation. One of my greatest takeaways from my time with her is simply asking myself the question: "Would I say that to a good friend or family member? Would I say that out loud to someone I love?" The answer is almost always "Of course not." 

You wouldn't tell your BFF that she's "fat and disgusting." You would never tell your sister that she's "a pathetic pushover who deserves being treated poorly." So why would you say these things to yourself? 

As usual, this is where mindfulness comes in. My interaction with my student last week reminded me to be more aware of what I'm saying in my mind--to listen to what comes up and try to change that conversation. 

It's not easy, but if we want to live more full, compassionate, meaningful lives, it always starts with our relationship with ourselves. It just does. 

So here's my challenge to you: Start noticing what you're saying in your head. Pay attention to your putdowns and do a little self-talk when you catch yourself saying something negative. Or, if that feels a bit too psycho-babble for you, just work with the mantra "let go" every time that you find yourself in a more negative head space. 

You really do have the power to change your negative thinking patterns, even though it can be hard, but it's worth working on because it benefits both YOU and the rest of the world simultaneously. As we all know, you can't love others until you learn to truly love yourself ("flaws" and all). 

That being said, I'll leave you with the words of the ever-wise, ever-fabulous Pema Chodron, who sums up this thought better than I ever could: 

Learning how to be kind to ourselves is important. When we look into our own hearts and begin to discover what is confused and what is brilliant, what is bitter and what is sweet, it isn’t just ourselves that we’re discovering. We’re discovering the universe...We discover that everything is awake, and everyone is awake. Everything and everyone is precious and whole and good. When we regard our thoughts and emotions with humor and openness, that’s how we perceive the universe.

Last week's retreat to Costa Rica was eye-opening in a number of ways. I had plenty of takeaways--most of them related to learning how to unwind and relax (see June's newsletter for more on this!)--but I think that one of the most important takeaways from this trip didn't really register until I returned and began settling back into my life yesterday. 

That takeaway?  The benefits of being away from technology for a week. I know, I know, this is a hot topic and it's all over the place and many people are probably sick of reading about it/thinking about it, but please, hear me out.

First, let me explain that we were not completely unplugged in Costa Rica. We had wifi in our dining hall and by the pool; I still blogged each day, I checked my email at least 2x each day, checked Facebook and Instagram occasionally, and posted a few social media updates throughout the week. 

But, I couldn't use my phone or computer in my room. I couldn't go to set my alarm at night and then spend the next 30 minutes scrolling through my NewsFeed in bed (I hate this but it always happens!). I couldn't check my email shortly after waking, I couldn't check my phone right after teaching or after my massage or after/while relaxing in a hammock, and when we left the retreat center to go on an excursion, our phones ceased to work--they simply became our cameras. 

On this trip, I was able to go on a technology diet that worked VERY well for my system. I slept like a rock every night, I was fully present with those around me, and I felt very detached from the online world. We had deep conversations that weren't interrupted by phones or alerts. We were able to read or nap or sleep without updates coming in. We handled online issues/posts in batches, all at the same time, instead of all day every day. 

One retreater told me that at home, she had gotten into the habit of waking up in the middle of the night to check her work email--because emails came in from the West Coast office around midnight--and that this trip was weaning her off of that habit. 

It's amazing isn't it, the extent to which we're ruled by our devices? I know it's everywhere, articles saying that our brains are changing, our communication styles are changing, our attention spans are changing, and I have to say that this past week, I really felt it. I felt the difference between a fully plugged-in life and a slightly less plugged-in one. The change was subtle, but as I reflect on my state of being over the past week, I see that it made a big impact. 

Did I go through real withdrawal symptoms the first few days there? Yes, definitely. It took me until about Wednesday (we arrived Saturday) to really settle into this slower pace and to unplug myself,  and knowing that I felt those symptoms is proof enough for me that our technology is addictive and that our fast-paced lifestyles are not good for us. 

So, this week, as I settle back into my regular life, away from fresh coconuts and hammock-lounging and all organic meals prepared by someone else at the same time every day (sigh), I've decided to make the following changes to my tech life, and see how it feels:

• No checking my phone in bed--at night or in the morning. Once I set my alarm I'm done.  
• Turn off all social media alerts. I've disabled the Facebook alerts, the Instagram alerts, the email alerts, and the Twitter alerts on my phone. All I'm getting are texts and phone calls. If I want to check social media, I have to actually open the page and check it. 
• Be more mindful about when and where I pick up/look at my phone, and why I'm doing it. Yesterday (my first day back), I noticed that I was very different in my phone/computer usage than usual, and I want to keep that up. It felt really nice. 
• Turn it off every once in a while. When I'm working on something creative or important or if I'm simply relaxing, I'm going to put my phone on Airplane mode. Crazy, huh? 
  
  

Would you like to join me in making these small changes? I think you'll be amazed by the freedom and space that you find when taking a step back from technology.

Want to take it a step further? Start scheduling a tech-free day oncer per week. Again, pretty life-changing if you can make it happen. I may try to do this on Sundays, if I can...

As someone said to me recently (my Dad?), we're currently living in the Golden Age of TV. Amazing actors and actresses are joining forces with talented directors to produce incredible shows for HBO, Netflix, and even PBS. There's 'True Detective,' 'Girls,' 'House of Cards,' 'The Americans,' 'Scandal,' 'Downton Abbey,' 'Game of Thrones,' 'Mad Men,' 'Orange is the New Black," and so many more.  

Similarly, there are amazing movies being made right now. If last night's Oscars showed anything (besides poor Jennifer Lawrence tripping AGAIN), it's that every year, more and more powerful, moving, thought-provoking films--starring incredible artists--are being created. There's a lot of good stuff out there.

Then, we turn to books. Everyone is talking about The Goldfinch, Wild, The Husband's Secret. I still haven't picked up Lean In or The Power of Habit (both of which I've heard are worth a read), and my "To Read" list is growing longer by the day. 

And what about amazing new music? Hilarious YouTube videos? Incredible articles from The New York Times? New podcasts? TED Talks? Blog posts? BuzzFeed quizzes? Facebook updates? Tweets? Pics on Instagram and Pinterest? 

All of this amazingness is stressing me out. I love it, but I'm feeling overwhelmed. 

I'm someone who likes to be in the know. Ben laughs at me because he says he can tell how much I hate it when people are discussing a show that I haven't seen, a book I haven't read, or a person I haven't heard of. He says he can see the strain in my face as I try to join in, but just can't. He thinks it's hilarious and I think it's painful. 

But really, I do like to be a part of the cultural conversation! I find internet memes hysterical, I love reading about new medical studies, I love looking at cute pictures of baby animals, I love learning, I love being entertained. I like the art of it, the creativity of it, the intellectual side of it, and yes, the silly side of it. 

However, as I've gotten older and busier, as I watch less TV (we don't have cable anymore--only AppleTV), as I fall asleep after reading only a few pages every night, I've started feeling more and more anxiety about being so behind when it comes to popular culture--about "missing out."

I want to see all of the TV shows, but there are SO many good ones, so many seasons, so many episodes! I want to see all of the Oscar-nominated movies, but I only have two weekend nights every week (and who has time to watch a movie on a Tuesday night?). I want to read The Goldfinch, but my Kindle is dead, I can't find the charger, and I don't know how to buy actual books anymore!

 Yes, I realize that I'm talking about total #firstworldproblems, but I think there's something deeper here, and it comes back to many of the things that we work with in our yoga practice. 

We're too inundated. We're over-entertained. As everyone is discussing in various articles (some that I've read, some that I haven't), we've got too many devices, too many distractions, too many social media accounts. I LITERALLY cannot remember the last time I was bored (in 7th grade, perhaps?)--can you? And I hear it's changing how our brains are wired, how our bodies are structured, and that it could possibly change how our faces look, if we don't learn to back off.

So yes, I believe that too much of a good thing--good TV, good movies, good books, good articles--can lead to too much stimulation, and to too much anxiety about that stimulation. 

We need more space, more stillness, more silence. I want to be okay with Ben watching 'House of Cards' without me (which he did when I was gone one weekend, and which I've obviously let go...), because I want to be someone who can handle not being "in the know" about that one show. I want to value living and being more than all of that other stuff. 

I'm getting there, but I'm not there yet. 

Do you feel the same way? Is popular culture bringing you both joy + stress? How can you take a baby step back? 

And what do you think of this season of 'Girls?' Are you enjoying 'True Detective?' 

See, there I go again...

P.S. I took an AMAZING teacher training this past weekend and learned A LOT. I have tons to share with you, but am still letting it all seep in. I'll share some tangible takeaways ASAP!

Life is full of patterns. I'm not talking visual, artistic, or textile patterns here (although I do love a good pattern-maker!), but instead, am talking individual, developmental, and personal patterns--behavior patterns, emotional patterns, activity patterns--you get where I'm going with this. 

Our personal patterns are engrained, some developing in childhood, some in adolescence, some during our college years, and others developing as a response to our environment or our lifestyle, as adults. 

But no matter where they come from, all of these patterns make up who we are, how we act, the decisions that we make, and for many of us (myself included),  these patterns allow us to either grow or cause us to repeat the same mistakes, time and time again. 

At this point in my life, I think I've figured out that my biggest issue-causing pattern (my life's work, you could say) is my repeated overcommitment pattern. 

It looks something like this: 

If this looks or sounds familiar, then you, too, might share a similar pattern. If it looks crazy and unimaginable to you, then your patterns are probably different, but I'm sure you have them--we all do!  

As for my pattern illustrated above, I believe I'm somewhere on the upward slope right now. I can feel it. I can see the peak of my overcommitment mountain through the fog. 

But this time, I think I might have caught myself before going too far. I still have a chance to turn around and go back down the mountain, without ever reaching the peak (the place where I end up having a slight breakdown EVERY.  SINGLE. TIME.). I may have to stop along the way to take a rest, eat some trail mix, and/or catch my breath, but I think I can resist the allure of continuing the climb. 

It's funny how our patterns work. It may take us years to figure them out, even though we might fall prey to them 2-3 times every [freaking] year. We have patterns when it comes to relationships, to friendships, to our work-life balance, to our exercise habits, to our eating habits, to our everything, and yet, they can be very hard for us to see. 

As they say, recognizing these patterns is the first step. Then you have to decide what you want to do about them. 

If you're like me, you may have recognized your primary pattern years ago, but you may still be struggling with it. You may derive self-worth from your patterns, your self-esteem may be wrapped up in your patterns, and you may not recognize yourself without them (all of which describe me)

But, I think it's worth taking a closer look at your patterns to figure out how you can break the cycle--even if you only catch yourself every once in a while. Because losing your mind twice per year, as opposed to four times per year, is a pretty good place to start, in my mind.

{One less nervous breakdown is always a positive!}

So, what are your patterns? Have you recognized them yet? As we enter the second month of 2014, have you fallen back into your typical, autopilot routines? 

If so, I invite you to join me in tackling your patterns this year, and maybe, if necessary, finding a therapist, a life coach, or a trusted confidante to help you work through them. I know that's what I'm going to be doing this month...

Hooray for breaking down patterns! We can do it together!

See you at the bottom of the mountain ;) 

Ladies and gentleyogis, lets put our grand resolutions aside for a moment and talk about basic life improvements. 

Whether you're a New Year's Resolution person or not, I think that the dawn of a new year is the perfect time to think about ways to make small life tweaks that will improve the quality of your day-to-day-existence. No pressure, no "I must do this ever day or I fail," no checklists--just small actions that can make a big difference.

How do I know that these things make a big difference? Because through my totally non-scientific data collection and experimentation, I've concluded that doing these things on a regular basis can add to your happiness, your health, your mental state, and your ability to be present. 

I urge you to think about each of the items on this list, and maybe, give them a try. If you already do them (or some of them), yay! I hope you're already aware of the amazing benefits :)

1. Reading before bed: Bedtime rituals are the cat's pajamas. They allow you to get better, deeper sleep, they make falling asleep easier, and they allow you to shut down your mind at the end of a full day. As long as you're not reading off of your computer or phone (no Facebook!), it doesn't matter what you read. Read a book, a magazine, a newspaper, whatever--but do it as often as possible. I recommend getting in bed around the same time each night and reading for 15-30 minutes.

2. Stretching every day: I'm not saying that you need to do an hour-long yoga practice every day or even 10 minutes of stretching. All I'm saying is that if you do a few stretches every day, you will feel better. I recommend doing them when you wake up, or when you find yourself hunched over at your desk, but it doesn't really matter when you do them. Just stretch [often]!

3. Taking care of something besides yourself: Whether it be an animal, a person, a plant, or a Furby (remember those?), taking care of something else adds to your life. It gives you a chance to stop thinking about yourself for once, and to start thinking about someone/something else. If you can't get a pet or a Furby, volunteer at an Animal Shelter, a Senior Living Center, or a Soup Kitchen. Then notice the subtle shift in your mindfulness practice.

4. Listening to podcasts: I know I've mentioned my love of podcasts here before, but really, they've added so much to my life and I'm a big proponent. If you aren't listening to podcasts already, you should! There are approximately 1000000000 of them out there, on every subject under the moon, so there's really no excuse. I recommend listening to them while traveling, while commuting, while doing mindless household tasks, while doing creative projects, while working out, and/or while walking outside (see #5). Learning something new while doing a mindless task is an amazing way to expand your mind.
 
5. Going outside for AT LEAST 15 minutes every day: Even when it's raining, or snowing, or really hot, or too cold [Except for maybe today, since there are record-breaking freezing temps all across the country...]. Take a little walk, eat your lunch outside, or just stroll around your neighborhood in the evening. If you're really busy and need to multitask, take your phone and make a call while you walk. But just get outside!

Of course, no list like this would be complete without my also mentioning doing yoga, creating on a regular basis, and making time for relaxation, but if you're a regular reader of this little blog, you already know that I believe in these things (without my beating you over the head with them again). Obvs. 

Oh, and can we all work on trying to stop apologizing when we're not in the wrong? Ugh. I'm always doing this and I want to stop. 

I hope that you can make some of these very small, but very effective life tweaks in 2014!

In 2014...

I hope you can finally make that big leap you’ve been wanting to make. 

I hope you eat pizza whenever you want to—without feeling guilty about it. 

I hope you’ll go to the dermatologist and the dentist. 

I hope you get the courage to stand up for yourself when you’re being taken advantage of.

I hope you don’t get stuck in the rain without an umbrella.

But if you do, I hope you can laugh about it.

I hope you drink your beverages out of mason jars without any shame.

I hope you move into headstand (or whatever inversion you’re working on) with strength and ease.

I hope you say no as many times as you need to.

I hope you say yes even when you might be scared of the outcome.

I hope you’ll adopt a pet. 

I hope you catch the plane, the bus, the train, the taxi. 

I hope that every once in a while, you'll go to bed without setting an alarm.

I hope you’ll learn a new skill.

I hope you snuggle more than you did in 2013.

I hope you turn off your phone every once in a while. {Yes, I said “turn off!!!” Gasp!}

I hope you’ll say “whatevs”, “OMG,” “bee-tee-dubs,” or whatever words make you happy, without worrying about being judged. 

I hope you'll floss {almost} every night. 

I hope you go to the beach and play in the waves. 

I hope you can stop worrying about money, status, clothing, or appearance—just long enough to see how little these things matter.

I hope you recycle.

I hope your hairband doesn’t break when you don’t have another one available.  

But if it does, I hope you can let your hair down--let it fall in your face, blow in the wind, get in your eyes--and be okay with it.  

Wishing you a wonderful 2014 full of laughter, growth, opportunity, and mindfulness!

Recently, I've been fighting dual urges. 

The first, to create a bunch of gift guides for you--a curated Etsy Gift Guide, a "For the Yogi" gift guide, a collection of my favorite art prints from around the web--and the second, to reject gift-giving altogether and write a post about how we should all decide to kick materialism to the curb and give no gifts this year. 

These are very conflicting urges. I'm not sure what to do.

I love picking out gifts for people, I love giving special, thoughtful, creative gifts, and I love making things for loved ones, but I also hate spending money, hate spending all of my time and energy shopping when I'm really busy and would rather be doing other things (ugh), and hate the idea of this time of year becoming all about stuff instead of relationships.

Again, part of me wants to run for the hills and become a hippie nomad who lives off of the land, and the other part of me wants to run amok in the stores, credit card in-hand, buying everything I see. Sigh.

Obviously, I still haven't decided where I want to go with this, so today, I've decided to give in to urge #2, and talk about how to reject gifts and still be  a part of society.

Therefore, if I were to decide to make it a no-gift year this year (it's not too late and I still may do this!), then I would go about it in the following way:

• Step #1: Email all friends/family and tell them that I am not going to be participating in gift-giving this year. Tell them that it is partly due to my desire to bow out of our materialistic culture, and partly because I want to save us all time, energy, and money,  Ask them not to give me gifts*, and tell them I won't be getting them gifts. *The only issue I see here is that I really want a sodastream and have already asked my mom to get me one ;)

• Step #2: Ask them, instead, if we can exchange heartfelt holiday cards, spend an afternoon together (even if it's just over Google Hangout or Facetime), or plan something together for the New Year (for instance, a trip to see each other!). Tell them I'd rather use the time and money that we'd use shopping on an experience together (or if necessary, apart), instead.

• Step #3: Sit by the fire, drink a cup of tea, and listen to Christmas music while enjoying the chance to relax, instead of fighting the holiday rush.

What do you think? Do you want to do this with me (if I decide to do it)? People who usually receive gifts from me-- what do you think? Would you rather I just post a couple of creative gift guides and leave all of this alone? Be honest...

Either way--whether I decide to go the non-gift-route or not--I will probably give in and still post a gift guide or two before the holiday season is over (the urge is so strong!). But, I promise that if I do, they will consist only of super creative, useful, handmade, and/or eco-friendly products. 

Happy December, everyone! I hope you're feeling less conflicted than I am ;) 

Legs-Up-the-Wall = my little version of heaven. I do it every day, and I can't believe that there was once a time when this pose wasn't in my life. Yikes. 

Since I love this pose so much, and since it's a rainy, cold, dark day outside here, I wanted to make sure that all of you, my readers, are familiar with this pose of amazingness. You simply must make it a part of your daily routine!

To all of my furloughed federal government workers, stressed-out Type-A-ers, and those undergoing big life changes this fall (like yours truly), this one of for you. Take a load off!

Oh, and I'm doing a restorative yoga workshop at Tranquil Space Arlington this weekend (on Saturday from 5-7), so if you'd like to enjoy more with this came from, join me! There are just a few spots left ;)

Have a restful, relaxing day.