As of today, I’ve been blogging here on this little page for 7 years. Seven. Whole. Years. That’s longer than I’ve lived in any one place since I was in high school, and definitely longer than I ever imagined I would be blogging. In fact, I’m actually pretty shocked that I’m still as dedicated to blogging now as I was 7 years ago--and even more surprised that at this point, I still don’t see any end in sight.

That being said, since I’ve celebrated SO many blogiversaries here over the years, I’ll save you the annual “what I’ve learned from blogging” or “how my life has changed since I started blogging” post and instead, use today’s blogging anniversary to share my thoughts on two questions that I’ve gotten a lot recently (and that have been hot discussion topics on the internet as of late):

1. Is blogging dead? Does anyone read blogs anymore?

Obviously I’m biased here, but I truly believe that blogging is alive and well (albeit changed). And from my blog’s statistics I can tell you that people definitely do still read blogs. Is my blog readership growing exponentially these days? No, it’s not. But is it declining? Nope, not at all.

In fact, even as I’ve decreased the frequency of my blog posts over the years—and especially as my posts have been less regular in the last year or so (during which I have also focused less on my blog than ever before), my readership has held steady. I would even argue that my “popular” posts are read WAY more now than they were a few years ago, simply because they are shared and seen so much more via social media.

Speaking of social media, I should mention that the rise in social media is one of the main reasons that people cite for why blogging is dying: Why would you go to someone’s personal blog to read about their life when you can just hop over to their Instagram feed to get a quick glimpse into their lives in real time?

Because a personal blog goes deeper than the highlight reel. There's more space to explain things and share the entire story. Blogs are more than inspirational quotes, perfectly styled lifestyle pictures, and 1-2 paragraphs of honesty or vulnerability every once in a while. I LOVE Instagram and I love social media and I think it has done amazing things for connecting us all, but I don't think it has erased the role that blogs play on the internet. 

In my experience, social media has changed the way that people read my blog and how they learn about my personal life (and lets be honest, where they go to see pics of my child + dog, haha), but I don’t think that this change has been a bad thing. In fact, it’s allowed me to focus less on updating my readers on my day-to-day life [on the blog] and instead, focus on sharing deeper experiences, more thoughtful pieces of writing, and recent creative projects, saving the snapshots, highlights, and silly posts for Instagram or Facebook.

The other big way that social media has changed my blog is that I am connecting with new readers all the time in a way that I couldn’t before. I can see my readers faces and families, learn more about them, and understand them in a way that I was not able to when I first began blogging, which is really refreshing and allows me to write for my audience in a more direct way.

Am I saying that all of the changes to the blogging world [caused by the rise of social media] have been good? No, I’m not saying that. I think it’s sad that people don’t subscribe to blogs as much anymore, or read them in the same way, or comment on posts all in one place. And I’d bet that the number of people who visit Starr Struck every day just to check-in (without being prompted by a social media link) has gone way down over the past 5 years or so...but at the same time, as those numbers have decreased, I know that the number of people who discover Starr Struck on social media--through a post that a friend shares or through a link that I post to Instagram or Facebook--has gone way up.

2. Is it worth starting a blog at this point?

I get this question from my clients all the time and it's a harder one for me to answer. I think it comes down to what you mean by “worth it.”

If by “worth it” you mean, what is the likelihood that you’ll make it “big” as a blogger and make money off of your blog, I’d say that that likelihood has gone way down, especially because brands are looking for much bigger bloggers and social media influencers to work with these days and it can take a looooong time to grow a blog that has a large enough audience to make money off of it.

But if by “worth it” you mean will you be able to find readers to share your writing and point of view with, I’d say YES, absolutely. If you have something to say and are passionate about saying it, you will find a small group of readers quickly and in fact, finding them has never been easier. All you have to do is write a post, give it a catchy title, and then share it to your existing social media accounts and you will have way more readers click through from your link now than you would have 7 years ago. 

Similarly, if you have a online business or product that you’re trying to sell online, blogging is still an amazing way to increase your google-ability or “digital footprint.” It’s still a great way to establish yourself as an expert in your field. It’s still an impactful way to share your thoughts on a subject. And it’s a wonderful method for instructing and teaching from afar. 

So is it worth starting a blog now if you really want to and your goals are one of the reasons I've listed above? Yes, I think so. But if you're starting a blog now in the hopes that blogging will become a full-time job one day soon, I wouldn't quit your day job. 

Thus, as I said at the beginning of this post, I’m in it for the long haul and will keep blogging—in some shape or fashion—until blogs are extinct. I will probably continue to share more of my day-to-day experiences on social media (+ less on the blog) as time goes on, so I definitely recommend you follow me on Facebook and/or Instagram if that’s what you’re looking for, but if you’re still interested in my deeper thoughts on motherhood, yoga, health, body image, balance, entrepreneurship, creativity, and business, then you’re in the right place.

Thank you for being here with me and continuing to pop-in and read my writing for so many years now. Thank you for supporting me, sharing with me, and connecting with me since March of 2011.

I’ll be posting a short + sweet version of my Annual Reader Survey {with an accompanying giveaway, of course!} on Wednesday, so stay tuned for Part II of my Blogiversary celebration then...

Long live the blog!!!! ;) 

The last few weeks of December always catch me off-guard: there's the end of the year, the holidays, my birthday (I turned 33 yesterday--thanks for all the well-wishes!), the wrapping-up of work projects before the holidays, etc., etc., etc.... 

But, you know that I think it's important to take a glimpse back at the past year before rushing into the new year, and one of the ways that I like to do this is by looking back at the year in blog posts + seeing which posts resonated the most with all of you, my dear readers. 

Because I'm taking all of next week off from blogging to enjoy a little R&R with the fam (HA!), this week is my last week of blogging in 2017, and thus, it's time for my "Most Popular Posts of 2017" roundup.

After running my annual year-end report on which posts got the most traffic in 2017, I saw a trend--*almost* all of my most popular posts from the past year were about motherhood and more specifically, my struggles with the challenges of motherhood + my attempts at figuring out how to juggle everything.

So, to continue the breakdown that I mapped out last year, here's how I see the past 7 years of blogging when I look at them from a distance (adding this year's big theme to the list):

2011: The Yoga/Teaching Yoga Year
2012: The Wedding Planning + Marriage Year
2013: The Big Move [to Cape Cod] Year
2014: The Total Self-Employment Year [+ Sayde Year!]
2015: The Home Ownership/Home Improvement Year
2016: The Pregnancy + New Baby Year
2017: The Figuring Out Motherhood Year

​Keeping the theme of this past year in mind, here's this year's "Best of" rundown...

Starr Struck's Most Popular Blog Posts of 2017: 

• Year #5: The Hardest Year of Marriage Yet
• My Top 10 Postnatal + Newborn Baby Must-Haves
• How We Survived the 4-Month Sleep Regression
• Motherhood Monthly: The Child Care Conundrum
• On Backing-Out + Letting People Down: Why I Had to Cancel My Fall Yoga Retreat + Why I'm Okay With It
• Motherhood Monthly: When You Catch a Glimpse of Your Pre-Mom Self
• Personal Essay: Pounding the Pavement
• On *Finally* Finding My Voice as a Yoga Teacher {After 7 Years of Teaching!}
• On Facing the Dark, Ugly Side of Your Personality
• When the Way Your Define Yourself Totally Changes

...And there you have it! Another year of blogging [almost] in the bag. I'll be back on Friday for my Simple Joys of the Year and then I'll be saying hasta luego to 2017 here on the blog. 

As always, thanks for coming on this journey with me! I'm excited to be entering my 34th year of life + my 8th year of blogging in 2018 ;) 

Above: my real-life, non-styled or cleaned-up, messy, cluttered desk. This is where I grind it all out. Solopreneur life isn't always as glamorous as it appears on Instagram, y'all! 

Yesterday was tax day {ugh} + it's been almost 2 years since my last "How I Make Money" installment, so I figured it was about time we revisit this subject. There are quite a few reasons I think this subject is worth revisiting, but here are the two main reasons:

1. I want you to see how many revenue streams it takes [or can take] for a solopreneur to make enough money to make it work. As I've said many times before, I love what I do because it's so varied and every day is different, but there is also a tactical reason for this--so that when one revenue stream slows down, another one can pick up the slack and we can still pay all of our bills each month. Sidenote: sometimes I simply cannot believe how many bills come in every month when you're an adult with a child, a house, and two cars. They just keep coming, don't they? 

2. I want you to see how quickly things can change in the life of a solopreneur with lots of different revenue streams! And how this life requires constantly tweaking your schedule and offerings in order to make room for what is working and let go of what isn't.

So, to demonstrate the above, I've included the same "bucket" revenue categories that I did the last time I talked about this subject, but with two different pieces of info below each one--one note showing what I wrote two years ago, and then another about the state of that same category now (so that you can see how each particular bucket has changed in two years):

YOGA TEACHING BUCKET

• Weekly Classes:
  [2 years ago] I teach 9 classes per week right now, which is actually a bit too much for me...
  [Now] I'm teaching 5 classes per week which now still feels like A LOT
• Workshops:
  [2 years ago] I teach 1-2 per month 
  [Now] I've been limiting myself to one workshop every other month so that I'm around more on the weekends to spend time with the fam
• International Retreats:  
  [2 years ago] I lead 1-2 per year
  [Now] None this year because Charlie Mae has changed everything and we had to reschedule this year's retreat because of her (more on that another time), but I have one scheduled in 2018 and I don't think I'll be able to fo more than 1 per year for the forseeable future
• Teaching Teachers/Teacher Training:
  [2 years ago] I teach approx. 2-5 sessions per year for Teachers-in-Training
  [Now] I'm teaching approx. 2-3 sessions per year

ART BUCKET

• Custom Paintings/Commissions:
  [2 years ago] I'm always working on at least 2-3 commissions at a time and usually have a few more on deck (Note: This picks WAY up during the holiday season, so I have to account for that time-wise)
  [Now] These days I've usually got 1-2 commissions going on at a time, but the types of commissions have changed a lot since I've increased my painting prices over the years. I get less big painting commissions now and more "family sketches" and smaller painting commissions, which works out well. Holiday season is still the same as it was 2 years ago--much busier ;) 
• Etsy Shop Sales:
  [2 years ago] I mostly sell prints + greeting cards on Etsy, but also get fairly regular orders for one-off projects like Cake Toppers + other unique needs). These sales come in sporadically throughout the year and then pick WAY up around the holidays 
  [Now] This is also fairly similar these days, but I do sell way more greeting cards and shirts on Etsy now than I did two years ago (Random note: I also stopped selling Cake Toppers because I couldn't charge enough to make them worth it time-wise)
• Retail sales:
  [2 years ago] I have my paintings, prints, and/or greeting cards in 6 retail locations and I get monthly checks for these sales (Not a huge chunk of my income, but a nice small trickle)
  [Now] I've changed to a mostly wholesale model for my retail sale, so I get payment for most of these orders in seasonal chunks. I'm now in 8 retail locations, although all but two primarily sell my greeting cards, so it's not a huge money-maker but it helps!

CONSULTING BUCKET

• 1-on-1 Consulting Sessions:
  [2 years ago] Average 3-5 per month
  [Now] Average of 1-3 per month (I'm doing less of these since I have less availability for calls and in-person meetings now)
• Ongoing Client Work:
  [2 years ago] I take on small biz clients and work with them on a variety of marketing + branding projects for an hourly rate. I currently have 3 of these clients
  [Now] I am no longer offering this kind of work for businesses because I decided that it was not the direction I wanted to go in; I don't enjoy managing social media and/or blogging for other businesses! It felt good to let go of this work
• Branding Workshops:
  [2 years ago] New endeavor! Did one earlier this month and have another scheduled for the fall...
  [Now] I'm no longer doing these workshops 

DESIGN BUCKET > Biggest area of growth in the past two years!

• Website Design:
  [2 years ago] I am currently working on 4 sites
  [Now] This has become a much bigger part of my business in the past two years. Sara and I are now usually working on 3-6 sites at a time and we turn them around much more quickly than we [I] used to 

• Logo Design:
  [2 years ago] I take on about 5-8 logos design projects per year, so this is a pretty small part of my biz
  [Now] This is a big part of my business! I now do about 1-2 logo designs projects per month
• Custom Design Work: I didn't even mention this revenue stream last time around, but it's now become another big part of the business. This is the "other" design work that Sara and I do--it includes designing fliers, custom invitations, promotional materials, email newsletter templates, etc. We usually do an average of 2-6 custom design projects per month on top of the above design projects

BLOG BUCKET:

• Sponsored Posts:
  [2 years ago] This is the only direct way that I make money from my blog. I do an average of 1-2 sponsored posts per month
  [Now] I do less of these now, simply because I don't have as much time to work and would rather spend my time doing design work for clients or writing my own blog posts! I'm now doing 1-2 of these each quarter
• Ebook: Again, I didn't mention this in my last version of this post, but this is a *very small* trickle of passive income. After the initial flurry of purchases when this book was new, I now sell an average of 2-6 ebooks per month 
  
  

Whew, huh? So many areas of work to think about!

But as you can see, the biggest change in the past two years is that the Design Bucket has grown immensely and thus, in order to keep things balanced, I've had to shrink the other buckets in order to make room for this increased workload.

The great news is that the Design Bucket is also one of the few places where I can get help, so I was able to hire Sara to work with me on those tasks and thus, get more work done more quickly. Obviously this means my expenses have increased (because I'm now paying someone), but I can make more in this area now, too (especially since my time is much more limited now that I have a baby). 

The last thing I should mention is that in the past 2 years, my rates for almost everything listed above (except retail products, of course), has gone up. I've increased my hourly rates for consulting and design work, and have changed the way that I calculate my per project rate for bigger things like website designs. I also make more per class teaching yoga now. So, all of these slow but steady increases over the years have allowed me to do less and still make around the same amount, which is another great part of working for yourself and setting your own rates.

I hope this post was informative for those of you getting started as solopreneurs and/or muddling through this world alongside me ;) I look forward to seeing how these things continue to shift in the next two years!

Oh, dear wonderful readers, thank you all so much for taking the time to share your feedback with me.

I feel like I've been in a weird place with the blog ever since having Charlie Mae (I guess I've been in a weird place with everything from my past life...?) and it was really helpful for me to read all of your thoughts on what you like, dislike, miss, want to see more of, etc., when it comes to this old blog.

Hearing from you has helped to remind me why I blog, what I love blogging about, and most importantly, has re-ignited my passion for blogging and made me want to jump back in wholeheartedly. 

Since you took the time to share your thoughts with me, I feel it's only fair to take a few minutes to respond to your thoughts and let you know how I'll be tweaking things in the coming months in order to get back to my roots and work-in some of your suggestions and requests...

Here's what's returning to the blog starting next month:

• Monthly Artist Features: starting in April, I'm bringing back my old "Love This!" column, which focuses on sharing artwork by other artists whose work I admire.
• Mat Matters: this monthly yoga video tutorial series has been on an unintentional hiatus ever since I was a few months pregnant and started feeling like I couldn't demonstrate anything anymore...like I said, it was a totally unintentional hiatus and I'm committing here and now to bringing it back in April. I'm glad you miss it!
  
  

Here's what is in the works and will hopefully be returning in the next couple of months:

• Starr Struck Radio: as promised, SSR WILL be returning, but it will most likely be without Ben (99% sure) and will be slightly different. I swear I'm working on this (I'm "in talks" with a new cohost...) and will keep you posted!
• More Yoga Tanks: Keep your eyes out for some new yoga tank designs ASAP! I'm currently pulling together the mock-ups so you guys can vote on the new style...excited to share my latest ideas with you! 

Here's how I'm going to tweak things around here:

• Motherhood Content: starting next month, I'm going to start a recurring column called "Motherhood Monthly" where I talk about what's happening in my mommy-world. This way, anyone who is interested in this topic can look forward to these posts, and those who aren't interested can easily skip them. This doesn't mean that I won't ever mention being a mom at other times (I'm sure it will still sneak into a lot of my other posts since it's such a big part of my life now) but it means that it will be clearer when I'm writing about just mommy stuff. 
• More Yoga-Related Content: it sounds like you guys want more yoga posts! I hear you loud and clear and will get back to it ;) 
• More Sayde: I can't tell you how much it warmed my heart to see all of your sweet notes saying you want to see more of Sayde on the blog...she was thrilled to hear it, too! Consider it done. 
• More Business + Behind-the-Scenes Posts: this is another type of post that I used to do a lot more of and have gotten away from in the past year or so. It sounds like you guys miss them so I'll be sharing more on this front in the coming months.  
  
  

I hope these changes/tweaks sounds good to you and make you feel heard and excited for what's to come on Starr Struck as we get deeper into 2017.  I know it makes me more excited!

And thank you for sticking with me through the past year of CRAZY life changes, ups-and-downs, and of course, maternity leave and my  s l o o o w w  return from said leave. 

I'm ready to jump back in now and am so glad you're along for the ride.  

As promised on Monday, I'm back with Part 2 of my Six Year Anniversary celebration here on the blog, and today, I'm giving away a springy, original acrylic painting by yours truly in exchange for YOUR feedback about the blog.

This year's survey features my usual questions geared towards helping me get to know all of you better, and then I also have some special feedback that I'm seeking as I continually develop my regular blog topics and features:

Ever since having Charlie Mae back in August, I've been living the serious Mom Life (it's hard core, yo). Because my childcare has been sporadic at best, nonexistent at worst, I've been IN IT when it comes to being a mom over the past 6 months. Not that I wouldn't have been "in it" if I had had regular childcare, but things have definitely been heightened since I've basically been an unplanned stay-at-home mom who also runs a business, blogs, and teaches yoga on the side (haha). 

So, because of this crazy recent change in my life, the blog has [obviously] featured a lot more content based on my experience being a mom than I had expected. I know that some of you love this because you've told me that you do, but I know that others of you don't, and I'm trying to find a balance that works for everyone, including myself.

Therefore, I'd really appreciate it if you could be super candid about your feelings on my mommy-related content in questions #7 and #8, so that I can make sure I get a good read on what all of you want moving forward. Obviously I'm going to talk about being a mom here on the blog because that is such a big part of my life now, but I can definitely dial it up or down depending on how all of you feel about this topic. 

That being said, lets dive into the survey! In order to be entered in the giveaway, all you have to do is complete my 2017 Reader Survey by 11:59pm on Sunday, March 12th (if you'd prefer to complete the survey on a separate webpage, here's the link--please ignore the cheesy background image). The giveaway winner will be announced on the blog on Monday, March 13th.  
 
Once you complete the survey, simply enter your first name and email address for a chance to be entered in the giveaway. Your answers won't be connected to your name/email, but if you don't want to enter the giveaway, you can just skip this question. 

Here we go: 

​Thank you SO much for sharing your thoughts with me! I eagerly await the survey results and will be sure to share some of them with you next week. 

As of yesterday, this Little Blog That Could is 6 years old. That means that for 6 years, I've been posting my thoughts, experiences, anxieties, simple joys, family pics, embarrassments, + more to this tiny space on the interwebs.

Although that may not seem like very long to many of you, this is definitely the longest "job" I've ever had and I'm amazed that I'm celebrating 6 years--especially since this past year was one of the most change-filled years of my life (hello, Charlie Mae!) and at times, I wondered how I could possibly keep blogging regularly.

For quite a while now I've been wanting to put together a collection of my favorite + most popular posts from over the years, and this blogiversary was the perfect excuse to *finally* get it done (with Sara's help, of course). Thus, in celebration of 6 years and in gratitude for all of you, I present my new *free* eBook, Out of My Mind: Six Years of Starr Struck. 

If you're one of my newsletter subscribers, your copy is waiting for you in your inbox (via free download code) and if you're not already subscribed, you can get your free copy by signing up for my newsletter below:

I say this in the opening of the book, but want to say it again here to reiterate my gratitude: 

​Thanks to all of you, this blog has been one of the main vehicles for many of my life changes over the past 6 years, as well as a major outlet for self-expression and an important source of community in my life. Starr Struck and all of you have allowed me to grow and change in ways that I never would have imagined back in 2011, and I live in a constant state of wonder and gratitude for the internet, social media, and YOU for allowing my life to look the way that it does today.

THANK YOU. 

Again, you can download your copy of Out of My Mind by signing up here + stay tuned for Wednesday's post, where I'll be asking you to fill out my Annual Reader Survey so that I can make Starr Struck even better in it's 7th year. 

Hope you enjoy the new book! Each and every part of it was written with love :) ​

I know that for many of you soloprenuers and small business owners out there, I'm preaching to the choir. If you've been doing this on your own for a while or follow any business podcasts or blogs, you know that this is a must.

But if you're newer to this whole thing--if you've just become a yoga teacher and are trying to build your tribe, or if you've just created a website and are trying to grow your brand--and you haven't yet started collecting email addresses from your followers, you should start right now. 

Why? There are SO many reasons, but here are just a few:

1. So that you begin creating a list of your most loyal followers/fans/customers/readers [because at some point in the future, you will want this list]. The people who sign up for your email list have to do more than just press a "follow" or "friend" button on social media--they have to enter their email address and then confirm their subscription, so you know that they want to hear from you. Having a list of people who want to hear from you will be crucial in the future as your business grows. 

2. It's the best way to actually reach those loyal followers. I know you might be thinking, 'Well actually, my inbox is a hot mess and I don't read half of the email subscriptions that I receive, so won't people do the same to my emails?' They might. But think about it: don't you still stop and read (or at least skim) the newsletters or email blasts from the people that you follow and care the most about/have learned the most from/are most interested in? I know I do, *despite* having an inbox so full that it makes me want to cry most days. So yes, if you have something important to say to your peeps, if you say it through your mailing list you can feel more confident that the people who care will read it. 

3. Because if you're selling something, the people on your mailing list are more likely to buy it than the random person who follows you on social media (although I don't want to discredit the importance of social media followers!). Not that it's all about selling, because it certainly isn't, but *if* you are selling something or are going to in the future, an email list will make selling online much easier and more profitable. 

4. You own your list and thus, have control over it. I know this sounds weird, but here's the thing about social media (the other way we all reach our people these days): it can change at the drop of a hat. Facebook could change it's algorithm again and you've just lost the way that you reach all of your audience. Twitter could shut down for good (lets hope it doesn't!), and just like that, you're out of contact with your tribe. But if you have an email list, you know that you can still reach your true followers through their inboxes. Phew!

So do you see why it's so important to start connecting email addresses? 

Even if you don't send out an email blast anytime in the next year, I guarantee that if you've recently started an online anything, there will come a time when you think, "Wow, I really wish I could reach all of the people who are interested in what I'm putting out there at once to tell them about ______." If you've been collecting email addresses all along, you'll be able to do that right away. 

So what's next? If you haven't done it already, create a free account on Mailchimp (or use a paid service like Mad Mimi, AWeber, etc.) and get a sign-up box up on your site right now. It's easy and it's a must. 

Oh, and a 'do as I say, not as I do' recommendation: you'll get way more email list subscribers if you offer a "free gift/free download" to everyone who subscribes to your mailing list. I've been meaning to do this/create this for about 3 years but, well, life.

All of that being said, here's a shameless plug for my mailing list! Want to join? You can do so below [my February newsletter will be going out tomorrow!]:

...And we're back after a long holiday weekend! I hope you had a wonderful Christmas; we found out that Christmas with a baby is a *bit* less relaxing than Christmas without a baby, but it was still lovely celebrating with Charlie Mae + spending a long weekend together as a family. 

Now I'm trying my best to enjoy the last week of 2016 while also attempting to teach Charlie Mae how to nap on her own (i.e. not on one of us/in a carrier), and it's been a balancing act, that's for sure. 

But lets talk about 2016 the blog: I can't believe that the time has come for this annual year-end post, and yet, here we are!

It's been quite a big year here on Starr Struck. Although I won't celebrate my next official blogging anniversary until March, it still feels important to note that 2016 was my 6th year of blogging. {Six years, OMG!}

As I've been reflecting on this past year on the blog and how it was different from the others, I've realized that it was truly the year of pregnancy, motherhood, + babydom here on Starr Struck, which was a big change content-wise.

For my longtime readers who aren't usually into blogs on these topics, thanks for sticking around + growing with me as my life situation has changed over the years. You have gone through so much with me since I first began blogging; as I see it, the big themes of the blog each year have been as follows:

2011: The Yoga/Teaching Yoga Year
2012: The Wedding Planning + Marriage Year
2013: The Big Move [to Cape Cod] Year
2014: The Self-Employment Year [+ Sayde Year!]
2015: The Home Ownership/Home Improvement Year
2016: The Pregnancy + Motherhood Year

Pretty big topics, huh?

Anyways, seeing as this was the Pregnancy + Motherhood year here on the blog, I wasn't surprised when I ran my annual "popular posts" report in Google Analytics and saw that of my 10 most popular posts of the year, 7 of the most-read posts had something to do with being a mom or a mom-to-be ;)

​Here's this year's rundown...

Starr Struck's Most Popular Blog Posts of 2016: 

• We're Having a...
• Charlie Mae's Birth Story
• Why You Should Wear Underwear to Yoga: The Ridiculous {+ Often Shocking} Side of Teaching Group Yoga Classes
• We're Having a Baby (!): How Pregnancy Has Already Caused a Shift in My Identity
• A Self-Employment Update: The Good, The Bad, + The Meh. 
• Due Week!
• ...And Just Like That, It's Been Three Weeks
• My Triumphant Return to Therapy {+ Why I'm Never Going Without It Again}
• Tour our Baby's Nursery
• An Open Letter Apology to Mothers Everywhere

Many of our Starr Struck Radio podcast episodes also topped the charts, but I left those off of this list since our podcast is kind of in a category of it's own. That being said, if you aren't caught up on the podcast, you can peruse the episodes and listen to those that pique your interest here. We're currently on hiatus because of the babe, but hope to be back up + running at some point in 2017 (exact timing TBD). 

So, that's it, 2016: it's been real [real hard, real wonderful, real life-changing, real emotional, real magical, I could go on and on...].

​I'll be back on Friday for my Simple Joys of the Year (always fun!), and then we'll close the book on 2016. Wowee.

Hope you're enjoying your last week of 2016!

PS. Want to read more of my most popular posts from the past few years? Here's my Best of 2015 list and here's my Best of 2014 list. Enjoy!

On Friday afternoon, I had a chat with Amber Beam for her podcast, The Art of Personal Growth. During our conversation, we talked a bit about my journey to self-employment and what's it's like doing what I do. As usual, this conversation got me thinking about being a solopreneur and about the many creatives who have a dream of pursuing this sort of lifestyle someday...

While talking to Amber, I was [once again] reminded of the ways in which self-employment gets so glamorized online, which I find quite problematic. So, today I wanted to do a quick check-in on my life as a solopreneur (can I still call myself that now that Sara works with me?), since it's been quite a while since I've given an honest rundown here on the blog.

But first, I feel like I should give you a little status update, as the way that I'm spending my days and the work that I do now is quite different than the work I was doing as a solopreneur 2 or 3 years ago.

My days are now filled with less yoga teaching and way more client design work and consulting than ever before, and it's been really exciting to watch this transition happen over the years. Would I have ever predicted that this is where I would be in mid-2016? No way. Never. Which is one of the things that makes the world of self-employment so fun. 

Similarly, I am still just as happy as ever that I am no longer working for someone else or working a traditional 9-5. I don't have a single regret and wouldn't change anything about how this journey has gone thus far. BUT, I've said it before and I'll say it again: just because I love what I do doesn't mean that it's always peaches and cream. It doesn't mean that I don't experience burnout, get frustrated or stressed, or worry about work. I do, all the time. 

Thus, that being said, here's a little update on how things are going {now that I'm about 5.5 years in} which I've broken down into three categories with three bullets each (because I love symmetry)...

The Good:

• I am still super fulfilled by my work. Every day is different, every client project is different, every creative project is different, every yoga class is different. I am able to work with + help amazing people bring their visions or businesses to life. I'm able to hold space for people connecting with their bodies and quieting their minds. I find it all pretty wonderful and feel very full at the end of each day. 
  
  
• I am making more money doing what I love than ever before. The hard work really does pay off, and each year that I work for myself, I make more than I did the past year (which is how I want it to be). Am I rolling in it? No, of course not, but I'm making more than I ever have and that feels good. 
  
  
• I love being able to scale up and back whenever I want to and however I want to. I have total control over my schedule--I can work when I want to, from wherever I want to, how I want to. I can accept projects that excite me and turn down projects that aren't a good fit. When I have our little baby in August, I can change my schedule to be able to spend more time with her and work with Ben's schedule.  I have complete control over my workday.  

The Bad:

• I am more frustrated than ever that I don't have any paid days off--especially when it comes to maternity leave. Despite being happy about being able to scale back when we have our baby, I don't get ANY paid leave, so will just stop making money when I take time off to recover and be with our daughter. I hate that it has to be this way!
  
  
• I still struggle with the low-lying guilt that I always can be/should be working. Although this has definitely gotten better over the years (I used to work basically all the time because I felt like I should), even when I'm not working, my work kind of hangs over my head. Part of this is because I really care about it, but part of it is because I don't have a defined workday or stopping point for a lot of what I do. This is a hard feeling to carry around. 
  
  
• The buck stops with me, so when I stop, the business stops (for the most part). Similar to the maternity leave gripe, if I'm not working, work isn't getting done (except for when Sara is working, which is actually quite a lot these days, thank goodness!). But big picture, this is scary. I have lots of worries about how that will be when I'm on my maternity leave, and it's crazy to think that if I just stopped for a long period of time, everything I've been working towards for 5+ years would just wither away. 

The Meh: 

• My email inbox is still my biggest struggle AND most helpful/most used tool. Even after all of these years, I'm still a slave to my inbox. I've tried so many things, I've adopted so many tools and strategies and apps, but when it comes down to it, it's still always haunting me. However, at the same time, it's where all my new business and new opportunities come in, it's my favorite way to communicate, and I love connecting with people over email, so I also really love it. It's a double-edged sword if there ever was one...
  
  
• Social media. I also have a love-hate relationship with social media. There are so many reasons I love it, but there are just as many reasons I hate it. I need it to sustain my business (in so many ways!), but I wish I didn't need it as much as I do. I'm addicted to it, but I also don't do it enough and am always behind. Urgh. 
  
  
• There are a lot of unknowns. Where will my business be in a year? Which parts of my business will continue to grow and which parts won't? Will I continue to make more every year that I do this? Is blogging going away and if so, how will that impact what I do? Unknowns can be exciting, but they can also be scary and unsettling, which is a reason this aspect of the business can be both good and bad at the same time...

As I wrote this, I realized that I could go on and on in every category, which is another great reminder that with every wonderful thing in life (like being self-employed), there are also many sacrifices and compromises that have to be made.

​When it comes down to it, though, I think the best question to ask yourself is: do the goods outweigh the bads (or the "mehs"?)? If the answer to this question is unequivocally 'yes,' then I think it's worth it. 

Want to read more about the reality of working for yourself? Here's a series that I did about it back in 2014:

• Part 1: Figuring Out the Finances
• Part 2: Scheduling Stress
• Part 3: Building Your Business

And if you want to learn more about how I actually spend my time (and or earn a living working for myself), here's a good post that clears it up: How I Make Money. 

Fellow solopreneurs and/or self-employed, do you agree with my thoughts on the subject? I'd love to hear about your experience...

When I read through my reader survey responses earlier this month, I came across a few questions about doing business online; some of you wanted to know what tools I use, some of you wanted to know how I learned everything that I know (up to this point), and some of you wanted more sharing of said information.

So, I'm here to tell you that it takes a village--of apps, services, products, + technology--to run an online business.

It also takes a lot of time, a lot of googling for resources, directions, + how-to videos, and a lot of trial and error to learn the wide variety of skills you need to know in order to blog, podcast, offer online design services, consulting services, etc. Just like any other business, trade, or skill, you have to put in the time to actually learn about the industry and then stay up-to-date as the industry changes; it's not easy. 

​That being said, there are a TON of tools that make running a business online *much* easier. And I wouldn't know about many of these amazing tools if I hadn't learned about them from fellow online business peeps. So today, although I have shared some of this information piecemeal in the past, I wanted to compile a complete, updated roundup of ALL of the tools that I use in the various areas of my online business.

I hope that this list is helpful to you as you build your own online presence or brand...and again, remember that you don't learn this stuff overnight, but it is all very learnable if you put in the time + energy ;)  

Here we go...!

Website/Blogging Platforms

• Weebly: this is what I use for my own website + blog, which I created back before I knew about Squarespace (not sure it was even around/as well-known then as it is now?)
• Squarespace: this is what I use for all client websites + blog designs. I will no longer design sites in Wordpress because I find that it is not user-friendly enough for clients to manage on their own AFTER I finish their sites
  
  

Blog + Social Media Graphics

• Photoshop Elements: worth learning! It only costs around $70 and is the BEST investment I've made in my business. Yes, you have to take some time to learn it, but I used Lynda.com videos to teach myself in just a day or so
• Canva: if you don't have Photoshop and/or don't want to learn how to use it, this is the design program I recommend you learn ASAP. Free and easy to use! Simply put: you cannot have an online business and not know how to use at least one image/graphic creator
• Wordswag: super easy app that lets you add words to images and create graphics for social media using cute backgrounds and templates
  
  

Social Media Scheduling

• Hootsuite: free (for up to 5 or 6 social media accounts) and quite simple to use

Newsletter/Mailing List Management

• Mailchimp: I'm a huge fan of Mailchimp! It's free until you have 2000 people on your mailing list and very easy to use. Yes, just like anything else you have to take the time to teach yourself how to use it, but once you have, it's extremely user-friendly
• Feedburner: how I deliver my daily blog posts to subscribers via email 

Podcast Creation + Hosting

• Garageband: this is what I use to edit my podcast episodes (I've also heard great things about Audacity, for those who don't have a Mac)
• Libsyn: this is the program that hosts my podcast episodes, meaning that it saves them in a cloud, delivers them to iTunes once I upload them, makes them available for download, and allows me to view download + listener stats
• iTunes + Stitcher: when you first create a podcast, you have to apply to get it accepted to both of these networks so that it's easily find-able and subscribe-able. Once it's been accepted, Libsyn does the rest for you (each time you publish a new episode) 

Video Creation + Hosting

• iMovie: comes free with a Mac and is pretty great. Yes, there is a learning curve FOR SURE, but it's worth taking the time to teach yourself. If you don't have access to iMovie or don't want to learn it, I've also heard wonderful things about Clips Video Editor. I haven't used it myself, but I hear it's a great, easy-to-use editing app for your tablet or phone 
• YouTube: this is an obvious one, but this is where I upload my videos in order to embed them in the blog

eBook Creation, Order, + Delivery

• Pages for Mac: this is the program that I use to create eBooks and all PDFs that I want to make pretty ;) Just like a lot of the other programs listed here, it takes a little time to get the hang of it, but once you do, it's wonderful
• E-junkie: the website that hosts my eBook and delivers it to those who order it; once I set up my account, uploaded my eBook and set up the back-end, I've never had to think about it again. So great! Only $5/month and well worth the cost
• Kindle Direct Publishing: the account that allows me to make my eBook available on Amazon (for Kindle). Free to set-up but they do take a percentage of your sales (obviously)

Accounting + Invoicing

• Freshbooks: the program I use to keep track of all of my business expenses, income, invoices (I can send them from here), timesheets/time tracking, etc. It has been a life-saver; my only regret is that I didn't start paying for Freshbooks about two years ago 
• Paypal: what I use to accept payment through the buttons on my website (like you see on my consulting page)
• Vanguard: hello, retirement! When you work for yourself, setting aside money on a monthly basis for savings/retirement is a MUST. I have a Vanguard account for this and have it set up to automatically remove money from my account and invest it in my selected fund each month

Free {Beautiful, Not Cheesy} Image Sources

• Death to the Stock Photo: you sign up and receive a free photo pack in your email every month 
• Unsplash: my favorite one! Great searchable directory of gorgeous images
• PicJumbo: also helpful, although not as great as the others (I search this one last)

File Organization

• Dropbox: both Sara and I are upgraded so that we can share all Starr Struck files easily (and so that we know they're safe and backed-up!). This is also how I deliver large folders of logo files to clients
• Google Docs: I mean, obviously. Love accessing docs on both my phone and computer, and love being able to share them easily with others (non-Dropbox peeps). Also great for surveys! 

Free Blog Widgets/Apps: 

• Surveymonkey: how I conduct reader surveys (free for up to 10 questions)
• Rafflecopter: great, easy widget for keeping track of people who enter raffles or giveaways
• Random.org: how I select the winners of giveaways that were not done through Rafflecopter (Rafflecopter selects the winner for you)
• Snapwidget: Instagram widget for your blog sidebar or website (allows you to display recent posts, like on my sidebar)
• iTunes Playlists: widget I use to embed my yoga class playlists in my website

Blog Ad Networks

• Clever Girls Collective: apply to be a part of this network and if accepted, you can apply for various ad/sponsored post campaigns on your blog
• Collectively: same as the above, just slightly less established/organized ;) 

Online Shop

• Etsy: although you can easily create a shop on your Weebly or Squarespace site, I've found that Etsy makes product management, shipping, and sales much easier than website-hosted shops (at least for what I'm doing). Not only does it allow me to print + pay for shipping labels within my shop dashboard, but it also brings in lots of new shoppers who wouldn't have found my products otherwise

Scheduling

• A good old fashioned paper planner, y'all! I've tried everything else, but have come to the conclusion that I'm just a paper planner kinda gal. Technology can't do everything! ;) 

And there you go. {Phew.} I had no idea how many tools I rely on until I made this list. Thank goodness for all of these free apps, programs, and websites I use! They make life SO much easier.

Have a favorite tool that I didn't include? Please post to comments so other readers (and I) can learn about it!

Wow. I just finished reading through all of my survey results [through sleepy eyes + a groggy mind because of the time change...ugh!] and I am thoroughly touched by your feedback. You guys are the greatest!

Thanks for being so positive, wonderful, loving, + thoughtful. I am absolutely thrilled to hear that even after 5 years, you're still enjoying the blog as much as ever; hooray! 

As I do every year, I wanted to take a moment to share the survey results with you, as I think it's always fun to see what your fellow readers are like...

But first, my 3 biggest takeaways from the survey:

• Most of you are yogis. Thus, you want more yoga + yoga-lifestyle related content. I hear you loud + clear and will do right away!
• It seems that Starr Struck Radio has been an even better addition to the Starr Struck world than I realized. So many of you referenced listening and loving listening, so that was great encouragement to keep going with the podcast. 
• You guys want to hear more about my day-to-day life, life lessons, struggles with balancing everything, etc., which used to be a bigger part of the blog but hasn't been as much lately. I do miss writing about my personal life, so will try and weave more of this type of content back into the blog over the next couple of months (which shouldn't be hard since we have such a big change coming in the future!). 

​
...And here are the results of the survey in bar graph form: 

So there you go! Other things you want to see more of? 

• Pregnancy/parenthood-related posts
• More recommendations: books, music, podcasts, etc.
• Business and time-management content
  
• Ben + Sayde, haha! So glad you enjoy hearing about them as much as I love talking about them ;) 
  
  

You also had some amazing ideas and requests that I can't wait to put to use on both the podcast and the blog; thank you!

Lastly, a big congrats to our giveaway winner, Stephanie D.! Look for an email in your inbox with info on how to "claim" your prize. 

Thank you again for sharing, reading, listening, and supporting me over the past year. Here's to a wonderful + exciting 6th year together!

As of this past Saturday (3/5), this little blog is now 5 years old! 5 years!!! It’s crazy to think back on my life 5 years ago today, as it *couldn’t* have been more different than it is now.

In March, 2011 I was still living in DC. I had been teaching yoga for less than a year, Ben and I weren’t married yet, and I was just a few months out from quitting my day job to pursue teaching and painting full-time.
 
Our moves to Arlington, VA and then later, to Cape Cod, MA were inconceivable at the time. I had no idea what my biz would turn into (+ what this blog would end up meaning to me!), Sayde and the baby cooking in my belly (OMG!) were unimaginable, and I was still very much exploring the unknown, fumbling around in the dark trying to figure out how this would all work out in the long-term….
 
Wow, how things can change in just 5 years! I can only imagine how much more they’ll have changed (for all of us) in another 5…
 
Anyways, as I do every year, I wanted to use this anniversary to one, thank you, and two, to ask you a few questions via my annual reader survey. I want to know more about you, who you are, what you want from this blog, how I can help you, + more.
 
But first: thank you for making this blog such a special space for me and your fellow readers.  A blog is not a community without its readers, and your feedback, encouragement, support, and commiseration over the years is what has kept me so committed to this space.

I know there are many of you out there who have been with me since the beginning, and I am *uber* thankful to you for sticking with me through all the ups-and-downs. So thank you—you have enabled me and my business to grow in ways that I never could have anticipated.
 
Now to the survey + giveaway! This year, I’m keeping it simple: if you complete my reader survey (below) you’ll be entered in a giveaway for $35 Starr Struck Bucks (see what I did there?). This $ can be applied to anything you want in my online world--my eBook, a product from my Etsy shop, a consulting session, and/or custom art or design work. It does not apply to my yoga classes or workshops, but if you can buy it from me on one of my websites, it’s up for grabs ;)
 
In order to be entered in the giveaway, all you have to do is complete my 2016 Reader Survey by 11:59pm on Sunday, March 13th. The winner will be announced on the blog on Monday, March 14th.  
 
Once you complete the survey, simply enter your first name and email address for a chance to win the prize. Your answers won't be connected to your name/email, but if you don't want to enter the giveaway, you can just skip this question. 
​

​
If you'd prefer to complete the survey on a separate page, you can do so here. 

Thank you again for sharing + contributing, for your constant support, and for being a part of my world for the past 5 years! 

Happy New Year + four days into 2016! So far, Ben and I are 3/3 when it comes to spending evenings at home with a fire roaring in the fireplace, and 2/3 when it comes to eating tacos for dinner, so I have a good feeling about this year ;)

I hope you had a wonderful holiday season and are feeling refreshed and ready to grab 2016 by the horns (and do lots of yoga, deep breathing, and mindfulness practices while doing so ;) 

Since this is my first blog post back after the holiday break, I wanted to let you know how Starr Struck will be changing *slightly* in the new year: 

In March, I'll celebrate my 5 year blogging anniversary. It's crazy to think it's been that long, but it has. When I first started blogging, I posted 7 days a week (I was an insane person and had no idea what I was doing). Then after about 6 months, I went down to 6 days a week, which I stayed with for about 3 years. Approximately 2 years ago, I went down to 5 days a week (like a normal blogger/human being), and now, at almost 5 years, I'm going to decrease my blogging frequency yet again--to 3-4 times per week. 

As I hope you all know, I love blogging SO much. But I also love everything else I do, and because I spend so much time on the blog every day, sometimes I can't spend as much time doing the other things that also matter to me. Thus, I've decided to move my main blogging days to Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, to free up Tuesday and Thursday mornings for a bit more focused work time.

That being said, Starr Struck Radio episodes come out on Tuesdays (and thus, shownotes + a post about the podcast), so whenever the podcast is "in season," I will actually be posting 4 days per week. I will continue to post all of my "columns," they will just be posted with less frequency each month. For instance, Love This! will happen once per month instead of twice, the same goes for Mat Matters. Otherwise, you can expect more of the same!

There will also be a few other [small] non-blogging changes around here as I try to make a bit more space in my life, keep things do-able, and keep myself inspired this year:

-Starr Struck Radio seasons will be shorter in 2016. Think 8-9 episode seasons followed by a 1-month break or so in between each season. This season (Season #2) will continue through February, and then we'll take a break in March before starting Season #3 in April. Episodes *might* be shorter, as well (we're trying, but haven't had much luck so far, haha!). 

-I've changed up my monthly newsletter format. This year, I'm going to use the newsletter to share some of my favorite resources, internet finds, productivity tools, life tips, books/movies/shows, + more. Think of it as your curated, monthly roundup of all things I love (remember my old Saturday morning column called 'The Roundup'? Kinda like that...). 

If you're already on the list, the new version of my newsletter landed in your inbox last night. If you're not, you can preview it here and if you'd like to receive it, you can sign up below: 

The only other thing you should be aware of (that you may have already seen) is that I'm doing *one more* limited edition order of "The Pack" rescue dog pullovers, since so many of you emailed me requesting a reprint of this popular style! If you want to pre-order a shirt to ensure you get one in the correct size, you can do so HERE by Friday, 1/8. 

I think that's it for changes (for now!). Thanks for sticking with me as I've grown and adapted over the years...SO excited to see what 2016 holds for all of us. 

{Basically all of my blog posts/"deep thoughts" these days start with the same sentence: "I was listening to a podcast the other day and..." I know it's getting old, and yet, today's post is going to start the exact same way. Here goes!}

I was listening to an episode of Being Boss the other day, and the guest, Life Coach Jay Pryor, said the following: 

"These days, everyone has a platform--it's free--so the only reason that you're not using yours is because you don't want to."

This really struck me. I was reminded that in our current version of the world, if you have something to say or something to share, you have a ready-made platform online. Whatever it is that you stand for, create, believe, or love can be shared with a few clicks, and if you're regular about those clicks and about your message, your passion will eventually build a community of like-minded individuals. 

Knowing this--knowing that you have the ability to step up onto your platform at any point--is very empowering. You can make the choice whether or not to use your platform and how you want to use it.

But that's the thing: if you're not using your platform it's important to acknowledge that you're making a choice and you're saying to the world that you don't want to. {Which is totally fine! This is your choice to make and deciding not to use it is totally valid and great!}  

Because that's the other thing about your platform: you can use it for whatever you want. You can use it to be political, to stand for what you believe, to share your story in order to teach people to be more open or accepting, to grow your business, to display your creations or artistic endeavors, to make people laugh, to become the go-to resource for kitten videos, whatever you want. And this is exciting.

There's a big conversation around blaming social media and the internet for making our attention spans so short, for making us slaves to our phones, for distracting us with the endless scroll and giving us a way to escape the present and what happens 'IRL' ("In real life," which is now a term we need because so much happens online). And I'm the first to admit that I have said, probably many times, "If I didn't have to be on social media for my work, I would get off."

But when I really think about it, deep down I know that's not true, because I am super grateful for the free platform that social media has given me and for the ways in which it has changed my life for the better. In fact, how I make my living didn't exist 20 years ago, and I know I have the internet to thank for this life that brings me so much fulfillment. 

So, here's what I want to ask you today: if you aren't using your platform, why have you made the choice not to? Is it an intentional choice? If so, what is the reason behind it?  

If you are using your platform, it's worth thinking back on why you chose to use it and how it has helped you. If it's not helping you and is only hurting you, why might that be?

It's time we take ownership over our choices and experiences when it comes to social media and living life online. I'm ready to own up to the part I play in all of this, stop the social media bashing, and express my gratitude for the free platform that I've been given; how about you? 

We learn how to share from the moment we start interacting with others. We're taught that "sharing is caring," that sharing is a way to make friends, and as women, we're taught that by sharing our stories and experiences with others, we're able to more deeply connect with new people and create lasting relationships.

As a blogger, you quickly learn that the more vulnerable you are, the more your writing will resonate and the more of an impact you'll make on your audience. As a yoga teacher, you're told that authenticity is the most direct way to reach your students. As a person, Brene Brown tells us that "vulnerability is the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, courage, empathy, and creativity." And who doesn't want those things in his or her life? 

As someone who lives for these things, vulnerability sounds like the right choice to me. So, I've continually tried to open myself up on the blog, on my podcast, and in my yoga classes over the years. I share posts and stories that are less-than-flattering or could definitely invite judgment. I try to share the ups-and-downs of life and when it makes sense, tell the truth about what's going on in my world. 

But sometimes I get sick of hearing myself talk. I get sick of my stories and sick of being open and I want to shut down. I take a break from personal essays and instead, share art (which still makes me feel vulnerable, just a bit less so), or other people's stories, or informational posts that don't leave me feeling as drained. 

​Over the past year, I've felt a shift on the blog and I think it has to do with starting the podcast. All of the sudden, I had another outlet for vulnerability and for sharing (or, depending on how you see it, oversharing). Anyone and everyone can tune in each week and hear me and my husband talk about our marriage, the silly incidents of our daily life, and our frustrations and issues--and people can now peek into my world and view my relationship and partner in a way that they couldn't before--albiet in an edited format. 

Because of this, I've had a bit of a vulnerability hangover all year, and I'm just now realizing it. A 'vulnerability hangover' can be a good thing, and according to Brene Brown, it is, because it means you're putting yourself out there and making yourself vulnerable; but I think there's a very fine line between being vulnerable and oversharing, and in our social media-riddled culture, it can be hard to identify which category you fall into. 

I'm not talking about the obvious kind of oversharing, like the person you have to "hide" on your newsfeed because he won't stop sharing every tiny detail of his nasty divorce, or because she posts long diatribes every morning about the past few hours with her newborn. I'm talking about the oversharing that isn't as clear: Where do you draw the line? How far is too far? When have you given too much of yourself? What is vulnerability--the good kind of openness and sharing--and what is TMI?

[A sidenote about TMI: Lena Dunham says that the phrase "TMI" is sexist because it's mostly used in a catty way to put down women when they share what someone thinks is too much information. She says when men open up people call it "bravery," and when women open up, people call it "TMI." I think this is a very interesting perspective.]  

So, how can you tell when you've shared too much? Is it when you're sick of hearing yourself talk (or write)? When you have no more energy for telling your story? When you feel you've shared everything there is to share? When you feel that you're being judged negatively for putting your story out there? It's hard to figure out where the line is...you start to think, Maybe I am one of those obvious oversharers and I just don't know it!?

Last week, I was interviewed on a BCC show focused on making lists. It hasn't aired yet (I'll be sure to share when it does, hehe), and after I got off of the phone, I started worrying about what I'd said.

It was nothing new, just the same stories that I shared on my personal podcast all about to-do lists, but suddenly, I felt really nervous about what I'd said. On my podcast, the people listening have context; they know me--even if only through my blog or from listening to past episodes of the show--and they know that while I may sound a bit insane when talking about all of my lists in that episode, I'm not actually insane, I'm just an anxious, Type-A person. But the British listeners, what would they think? Probably [definitely]: insane person.

After thinking more about this, I've come to to the conclusion that for me, what's changed in the last year is that now people have heard me sharing my vulnerabilities in my own voice. Blogging is curated, it's very edited, and I can write a post and then go back and rework every single word if I want to--until I think what I'm saying is exactly what I'm trying to say. Sure, people will read it however they want and reflect their own experiences back onto my words, but I have control over the words I put down. 

With podcasting, Ben is involved (read: loose cannon, ha!), I don't have a script, and although yes, I can edit, editing isn't as easy as it is with a blog post and when something is said in my actual voice in a recording that lives on forever, it feels different. 

So, I guess what I'm saying is that I've been dealing with a vulnerability hangover lately, and that's why I've pulled back a bit with the personal essays here on the blog. The podcast is still rolling out tons of vulnerable content (see: last week's episode on therapy and tomorrow's episode on guilt), but when I sit down to write a new post, or when I go onto social media these days, I've had a hard time continuing to talk about my experience.

Frankly, I'm just a bit sick of myself. I hope you understand and promise I'll do my best to get back to sharing more personal stories here on the blog as soon as I'm up to it, but for now, I'm just feeling used up in that department. 

Do you relate at all? Do you get sick of sharing and being vulnerable, too? Or are you the opposite--do you need a little more vulnerability in your life? I think that grappling with these feelings is just a part of living life online, but it's still new enough that I know I'm going to need more time to figure it all out... 

Thanks for continuing to read this blog and for giving me a place to share these emotions and get all of this sorted ;) 

PS. I feel weird not saying anything about all of the horrible violence that's taken place in the world over the past couple of days (and all of the discussion that these recent acts of terrorism have brought up). However, I like to stay away from current events and my opinion on current events on this blog because that's not my intention for this space.

That being said, all of these horrific tragedies have made a huge impact on me and I'm thinking of all of the victims of this recent violence + their families. My heart is hurting for our world right now. If/when I have something to say that I feel is worth adding to this conversation and/or hasn't been said in a way I would like to say it, I will certainly speak up.