A Brief Snapshot of a Relationship {Warning: Things Get Steamy!}

The other day, as I was walking Sayde, I had a flashback to the following relationship moment from the summer. 

For reasons that I hope will become clear (but which I will also spell out below), I decided that I wanted to share it with you today...

Scene: Ben and Mary Catherine are lying on towels on the beach. It's a sunny, beautiful Sunday and they're very relaxed. They're facing one another and gazing into each other's eyes; Ben has his arm around Mary Catherine's side. 

Mary Catherine is quiet. In her mind, she's thinking about how special and romantic this moment is. She imagines she's in a romantic comedy (her favorite), and that her husband is looking at her with pure adoration, as shafts of sunlight move across her face and the camera gets all fuzzy and loving. She can hear music start playing in the background... 

Then, Ben speaks. 

BEN:    You have a pimple inside your nose. 

MARY CATHERINE:    No, I don't. It's a skin tag. I've had it for years. 

BEN:    Oh. 

Scene Ends. Curtain. 

Sexy, isn't it? It's just like all of the Rom Coms that I grew up watching--just like I always imagined it would be, when I dozed with my future husband on a Cape Cod beach in the late summer sun...

But really, what I hope this scene points out is the pure realism of relationships and of life in general. To me, this small, ridiculous interaction brings up a couple of very important reminders:

It reminds me that most often, our experience of a moment or a situation is completely our own. What we are feeling or thinking is never going to be the exact same as what our partners or friends or family members feel, because our life experiences are different and our minds are different and we are not the same person (no matter what we might tell ourselves about how "alike" we are). 

I can't tell you how many times I've said to Ben, "What are you thinking right now?"--assuming I might know, or that it might be along the same lines as what I'm thinking--only to be left totally confused and utterly amazed when his answer shows how far away from one another we have been [in our minds].

It also reminds me that life is never like the movies. Or, as we like to discuss here in the blogosphere, like it appears on social media. 

If I had a pic of that moment, it would have looked pretty romantic. We were snuggling while lying on the beach, looking into each other's faces. The water was sparkly, the sunshine was warm and perfect, and with the right filter and a little blurring, it would have looked like pure marital bliss. 

And although it was an enjoyable afternoon, what the pic wouldn't have captured was our steamy conversation. 

That being said, I think it's a pretty great moment. It says so much about what it means to be in a real, non-movie relationship (especially after 10 years). And I have to say that I laughed out loud when I remembered it, and then again when I reminded Ben of the conversation a few days later. 

So that's it, really. I hope this little story brings you a good holiday chuckle and reminds you, as we move deeper into this relationship-heavy season, that your experience is uniquely your own and you never know what's going on in the minds of those around you...

PS. Is that a pimple in your nose?