A few years ago, I was taking a class in a beautiful, clean studio, and as I lifted my hips and moved back to downward facing dog, one of my biggest nightmares occurred--I saw a small cockroach crawl across the back of my mat.
Now, I know that this wouldn't be a huge deal to some, but since cockroaches are the thing that I am MOST afraid of in life, it totally freaked me out. As quietly as possible, I jumped off of my mat, moved it a couple of inches to the left, and then tried to put my block on top of the bug, but I missed it as it ran under a baseboard. For the rest of the class, I was in pure hell, looking back every 20 seconds or so to make sure the cockroach didn't come back. And savasana? Forget about it. Then, last week, as I was breathing deeply in a class, my nostrils kept filling with the strong scent of cigarette smoke, wafting off of someone nearby, and it got me thinking [yes, I started thinking in yoga, whoops!] about distractions in class. Not just your typical, monkey-mind distractions, but real external distractions like the cockroach, the cigarette smoke invading your ujjayi breathing, the nearby student who talks at a normal level to her neighbor all throughout class. These are real things, and they can be very hard to tune out, even for the most experienced and mindful of yogis (a category in which I don't include myself, sadly). Thus, here's a list of 13 Frequently-Witnessed, or Frequently-Experienced, Yoga Class Distractions--from my years of teaching and taking yoga classes in group settings... 1. When you lower your body down to the floor, then turn your head to the side, and spot a piece of toenail just a couple of inches from your face. This has happened to me multiple times at multiple studios, so I have to think that tearing off a toenail (or a part of a toenail) is something that is happening fairly frequently during yoga classes. Okay, but then if you do pull off part of your toenail during class, perhaps you could get up and throw it away or wrap it in a tissue? Same goes for used band-aids... 2. The neighbor with so little body awareness that you can't help but stare. This isn't a dig at people with very little body awareness, as I love seeing people who lack body awareness come to yoga (it can be so good for people who struggle with this!), but there comes a point where someone's pose looks SO different than the poses around them that you can't help but stare and think, "How did they get THAT [little ball-shaped pretzel] from Warrior II?" 3. The girl who plugs her phone INTO the socket in the studio to charge it and then ANSWERS it when it rings in class. This really happened in one of my classes. Enough said? 4. When someone's slippery mat starts to turn diagonal throughout class, and keeps moving until it's literally overlapping with yours and they're basically practicing on top of you. Again, seems ridiculous, but happens somewhat frequently. And again, I think it does come down to a lack of awareness. But is it distracting? Yes, yes it is distracting to have another mat on top of yours when there is plenty of room in the studio. 5. Deep-breathing next to someone who reeks of smoke, body odor, a specific type of food, perfume, or something else entirely, that you can't quite place... It can be really hard to breathe in through your nose if the scent that is surrounding you makes you feel sick. 6. Music issues: music too low, too loud, too profane, too Top 40, etc. Although this is somewhat a personal preference, if you don't jive with the music being played in class, it can be distracting. For me, an example of this would be when a teacher plays recognizable music so low that I'm straining to hear it/figure out what song it is, or when, for instance, they blast "Poker Face" during a slower part of a non-themed class. As an example ;) 7. The super latecomer who bangs on the door or window, trying to get into class. If you're late, you're late. I know the feeling of arriving to a locked studio door is super disheartening--especially if you've worked really hard to get there--but if you can't get the teacher's attention in a quiet way, it's time to admit defeat. There's nothing like loud, aggressive banging on a door or window to really throw off relaxation. 8. When someone else's hair, or a big studio floor hairball, gets stuck to your sweaty body. Anything getting stuck to your sweaty skin is kind of annoying and gross, but when it's a super long, dark hair (and your hair is light), or when it's a fuzzball made up of a couple of different strands of hair, it's kinda nasty. 9. The person who checks his/her phone repeatedly or texts during class. Believe it or not, this happens fairly often and it's really frustrating as both a teacher and a student. No phones in class, people! Just no! ArghhhHH! 10. The student who stares--and I mean, STARES--at the person next to him/her the entire class. Usually the person who is doing this doesn't realize they're doing it, but it can be very distracting to feel a pair of eyes on you, from the side, watching your every move and copying it a moment after you do it. Some looking around and copying is totally natural, but when it's never-ending and very intent, one can become quite self-conscious. 11. Giggling during savasana. This is so upsetting! I understand why people who are new to yoga might not get this part of class, because yes, it does seem a little weird to lie on your back in a room full of strangers with your eyes closed, but loud giggling!? Sigh. 12. The super loud moaner, groaner, and/or vocalist. I love deep, loud breathing, and the occasional sigh or groan of relief [or intensity] can be great, but when it becomes constant and super loud, it can start to become annoying for fellow students. 13. Getting kicked in the head when the teacher cues down dog split. Thud. When my dad first came to my class, he got kicked in the head, and I was horrified. It's disorienting, painful, and honestly, pretty awkward for both the kicker and the kickee; the kicker feels horrible and can't stop apologizing, and the kickee also feels horrible, but usually because they're in pain and they're having to assure another student that it's okay and that they're fine. No bueno. What would you add to this list? I'm sure I'm missing many scenarios, because lets face it: we're people living in a world with lots of other people and things and critters, so we're going to be distracted and annoyed a lot! It's a part of life. But that doesn't mean that it isn't fun to bitch about it sometimes, amirite!?! I asked Ben what was most distracting to him when practicing, and he immediately started rattling off a bunch of complaints about my classes in particular--things that have happened recently, or things that he doesn't like about me (haha!)--so it's fairly clear that we've all got our favorite distractions to complain about ;) Hope your Thursday is as distraction-free as possible! Love this post! This has only happened a few times in my yoga experience, but I find it super distracting...when an advanced yogi is in the same class as you and goes off into their own practice that is so far off from what the teacher is instructing. I can't help but stare (guilty of #10 in this case) and wonder how they even got into that position in the first place!
Cashew
2/18/2015 10:49:08 pm
Great list! Couple more:
Lindsay
2/19/2015 12:19:08 am
I get super anxious when I'm in a class & notice someone that's forcing them self into more advanced poses. When it's more than just experimenting or pushing themselves I get nervous they are going to hurt themselves!
Silvia
2/19/2015 01:47:07 am
Haha, that's a great article! My list can go on and on... I find loud music very distracting especially when teachers play something else not related to yoga at all (like soft rock...), I'm very sensitive to smell as well, so cigarettes and body odor are not nice. but I think my biggest issue is when someone get late to class. It's very distracting. How about those students who love to do headstand just to fall Almost on top of their fellow neighbors?!?! I swear I have seen it happening more than once. Mary Catherine please keep posting, love your blog :-)
Mary Catherine
2/19/2015 02:48:29 am
OMG, great additions, everyone! SO true and agree with all. Thanks for sharing :)
laura
2/19/2015 04:28:46 am
Ha ha ha ha ha ha. As a teacher and a practicioner, I have experienced all of these. As a yoga student, I get uncomfortable with the heavy breathing that sounds a bit, um, sensual. As a teacher, I get annoyed by cell phones. Give yourself the hour! You don't need your phone on!
Jess
2/19/2015 08:00:21 am
This is brilliant! I'm from Perth in Australia and as both teacher and student I think I've experienced each and every one of these anti-zen scenarios!
Mary Catherine
2/20/2015 07:42:47 pm
OMG, Jess, this is hysterical and SO true! One of the best quotes I've ever seen in my comments section: "I have seen far more scrotums than any 24 year old deserves!"
someone spent most of one of my classes a couple weeks ago pulling their toenail off. why is this is a thing? kthxbai
Mary Catherine
2/20/2015 07:41:42 pm
Haha, Andrea! I thought about that a lot when I first moved and saw it happening, too! ;) And ditto to the others... 2/21/2015 10:06:09 pm
Ahhh! This list made me giggle, but it's SO true. Comments are closed.
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HELLO!I'm Mary Catherine, a Cape Cod-based yoga teacher, painter, designer, writer, mom, and list-maker extraordinaire. My goal is to inspire you to start living a more creative, simple, joyful, + purposeful life.
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