YOU GUYS. Thank you so much for the outpouring of loving messages, emails, texts, comments, etc. this week.
I really appreciate all of the support during this exciting (but anxiety-filled) time. It's so nice to finally have everything out in the open (now you know why I was EXTRA tired over the holidays and during all of our travel) but it's also a little scary, too. So thank you for making it easier to share. As for simple joys, obviously one of my biggest simple joys from the past week was all of the sweet 'congrats' from all of you! But above + beyond that big joy, here are some others that brought me happiness this week... HEAR: Lizzo I've been on a Lizzo kick all week. I know I've posted about her before but I've been back to listening while I work and was reminded of just how great she is. If you haven't checked her out, do!!! Here's one of my fave songs: SEE: Tidying Up with Marie Kondo on Netflix (and as a result, the book the show is based on) I know some of you have been recommending this book to me since it first came out, but for some reason I was resistant until now--or until last weekend, when I watched the first episode of Marie Kondo's new show on Netflix (at the recommendation of a few of you) and it hit me like a ton of bricks. I've been losing my mind over all of the stuff in our house lately and this show (and now book, which I bought immediately after watching one show) was the right message at the right time. I want to get our house in order before Baby #2 comes! So I've committed to following the KonMari method just as described and even made a spreadsheet listing the tidying categories we're going to tackle each weekend now through late-April. I'm SO excited!!!! And as you can imagine, Ben loves it when I send him household spreadsheets while he's at work (HAHAHA). TASTE: Sea Salt & Vinegar Cape Cod Chips (see painting above!) If you saw my Instagram post last night, you already know this, but I just have to say it once more here: these chips are the main food item I've been wanting to eat for the past few weeks of this pregnancy. I crave them all the time and I can't get enough of them (but actually I can so I've been limiting myself and trying to eat small portions). I loved balsamic vinegar during my first trimester when I was pregnant with Charlie Mae, but this pregnancy + these chips have taken it to an entirely different level. SMELL: Sayde's breath (HA! only half joking...dog people will understand) Sayde is back visiting with us while her new owners are traveling and although it's challenging to have her for so long (life is just harder with her around because we have to keep her and CM separate!), it's been really wonderful, too. And Ben and I laugh so hard because she has the worst breath but she's so tiny and as gross as it is, we both kind of love it, too. It's just so funny when she yawns right in our faces (RIGHT in our faces) and she's so adorable that you can't be that grossed out ;) TOUCH: Cleaning out 6 garbage bags (!!!) worth of clothes to donate Thank you Marie Kondo! Because of my aforementioned obsession with the KonMari method, Ben and I started "sparking joy" with our clothing last weekend and got rid of SOOOOOO many unused + unneeded items. It felt incredible! I'm pumped to tackle accessories, shoes, and books this weekend. And there ya go! I hope you can find some time to reflect on your #SJOTW today, too... 
 I've been pretty nervous about sharing this news with all of you; I'm obviously over the moon to be pregnant again (and out of the First Trimester!), but after my recent pregnancy loss, telling "the world" about this pregnancy felt really scary. Every time I imagined "announcing" that I was pregnant again, I then imagined suffering another loss right afterward and having to face the sadness of that loss "publicly" when I wasn't yet ready to do so. I also thought about all of the incredibly strong women who reached out to me to share their pregnancy loss stories when I shared mine. I thought of the women who are still trying to get pregnant again and I couldn't help but worry that my sharing this news wouldn't help, but instead, would hurt, or re-open old (or still very fresh) wounds. If you're one of those women and you're reading this, I sincerely hope that this post doesn't make you feel worse, but that it gives you hope instead. After losing our baby I wanted to jump back into the saddle (haha) and try again as soon as possible because I knew that getting pregnant would help me heal--and it has. But I know that not everyone feels this same way and that it can also take a while to get pregnant again, so it's not always such a simple decision. I feel very grateful that we were able to get pregnant again quickly and am sending SO much love to those of you who are currently trying or who've had to wait longer than you'd hoped. It's a very intense process to re-enter no matter how much time has passed since your loss and can obviously be way more intense if it's harder for you to conceive. There are no words, really. I just hope this post doesn't do more harm than good. And despite all of my worries about putting this news out into the world, the fact is that we're really excited about growing our family and want to share this joy with others. I'm trying to move past all of my anxieties about something going wrong and instead of dwelling on my fears about all of the the worst case scenarios, live in the moment and experience the excitement of being pregnant again. Especially after such a devastating loss. So, all of that being said, YES, I'm pregnant again!!! I'm a little over 14 weeks and I finally felt ready to share this news for a few reasons:
Thus, here we are. I'm due July 14th and we can't wait (but actually we can because we have a lot to do before then + two kids = OMG!). We *are* going to find out what we're having and should know around 18-19 weeks. We haven't decided if we're going to share that publicly yet or not, but if Ben and Charlie Mae have anything to do with it, we probably will ;) Thanks for all of your support over the past 6 months of loss and now, excitement. On two separate occasions at the end of 2018 I saw big, bold, gorgeous double-rainbows that made me feel very hopeful about this pregnancy and this year. Let's hope that those rainbows were signs that 2019 is going to be full of rainbow babies for all of us who suffered a loss in 2018. [Oh, and a note about the pic above: I'm *sure* you know this by now but in case you don't, Ben is OBSESSED with basketball. He has a bball training side-hustle and basically eats, sleeps, + dreams basketball. He's had a "vision" for this picture since the day we found out I was pregnant again and although I am not as into basketball as he is (understatement of the year, haha), I couldn't take that vision away from him. So yay for you, Ben!]   Wowee, I am POOPED from this week! We got back in town from my brother's wedding on Sunday evening, and on Monday I was up at 5am to teach the first day of my week-long AM Yoga Challenge...it's been awesome, but waking up that early every day on top of trying to play catch-up from the holidays/all of our travel has been prettyyyy tiring. I'm ready for this weekend! But before we jump ahead, let's look back at the past 7 days and talk simple joys. Here are some of my favorite sensory pleasures from the past week... HEAR: The Hamilton Mixtape Have you listened to this album? If you're a Hamilton Soundtrack junkie like I am (despite still not having seen the show...AHHHH!) then you'll LOVE it. I've been listening nonstop ever since I found out about it and am completely obsessed. And yes, I realize that I'm *very* late to the Hamilton bandwagon, but to be fair I live on Cape Cod (we're behind on everything by about 10 years) and I was pregnant/having a baby around the time that it was all the rage... SEE: Patrick + Caitlin's wedding My brother's wedding last weekend was perfect in every way (except for what happened with Charlie Mae of course). It was beautiful, personal, so full of love, so funny + comfortable while still being really classy + fancy--it was just 100% them. I cried so many tears of joy for my little brother and his wife while in Durham (pictured above) and am over the moon about the whole thing. It was great. TASTE: The Pit BBQ (location of the Rehearsal Dinner) If you ever find yourself in Durham, NC, I highly recommend this restaurant. My brother's rehearsal dinner was here and everything that I ate was beyond delicious. The food at the wedding was amazing, too, but this meal stuck out to me because it was such authentic BBQ and it's been a while since I've gotten to enjoy that kind of food. SMELL: Ben's Homemade Caesar Salad Dressing Ben made his world famous Caesar dressing this week and as usual, it did not disappoint. It did make me feel like I was breathing garlic all over the world for 24 hours (ewww) but I *think* it was worth it because of how good it tasted. And smelled. Gotta love fresh garlic + lemon! TOUCH: Working out/yoga + getting back into a routine If there's one thing that I missed over the past few (well, 7) crazy weeks of travel and holidays it's being in my routine. I love my routine. It's not super routine-y because every day is different and every week is different, but there's a rhythm to it nonetheless. It felt so good to be slowly getting back into life this week and even more amazing to get back to working out + regular(ish) yoga. Ahhh. I hope your week was equally full of simple joys and the comforts of your regular old routine. Have a great weekend!   If there's one lesson in parenting that life continues to hit me over the head with, it's this: your expectations are always wrong (yes, I have written about this subject before). Nothing big will ever go as planned--at least not when your child is involved. You think an event is going to be hard for your kid? You're wrong, it ends up being easy! You think something's going to be a piece of cake? Surprise, IT'S GOING TO BE THE WORST THING YOU'VE EVER DONE. You're not sure what will happen but are hoping for the best? Life will throw you a curveball that you never saw coming and you'll get hit right in the noggin. And here's the other thing: even when you know that nothing will ever go as planned or as hoped, you, the parent, are still royally disappointed when they don't because--despite the odds--you held onto the hope that maybe, just maybe, they would work out as imagined in your dreams *just this once.* Take my brother Patrick's wedding this past weekend as an example: Months ago, Patrick and his now-wife Caitlin asked Charlie Mae to be their flower girl. We all had adorable visions of her walking nervously down the aisle in her little white dress, dropping flowers as she went. We all know that she hates strangers, crowds, and people looking at her, but we thought that if we got her amped up enough and she understood the logistics--that her dad would be walking her down the aisle and I would be at the end of the aisle (where I would be serving as a "groomswoman") to greet her--she could do it. So, in the months leading up to their wedding we [read: I] searched for and bought her the perfect flower girl dress for the wedding, pink shoes with bows on them, pink tights, and a little floral crown for her head. She got her first haircut so that it would look a little cleaner for the wedding, and we talked up her job and "practiced" walking around the house in her outfit. She was pumped and excited. So was I. On the day before the wedding, we opted to skip her afternoon nap so that she could go to the venue for the rehearsal and practice her role. We wanted her to be as comfortable as possible with the space and the people in the wedding party. She had fun at the venue and afterward, kept asking when we would go to the wedding. She was ready. On the big day, I left Ben, Charlie Mae, and Ben's mom (who we brought along as our "babysitter" so that we could enjoy the wedding weekend--game changer!) around 11am to go join the bridesmaids for hair, makeup, pictures, etc. I wouldn't see Charlie Mae again until she showed up for pictures, all dressed up. That made me anxious but I did my best to let go. I got news via text that she didn't sleep during her usual nap time, so was prepared for a tired toddler at the 5:30pm wedding. But when she arrived for pictures she was in good spirits and seemed excited, so I got my hopes up again. She was ADORABLE in her outfit and besides being totally against taking any pictures with me (argh...see pic above), I felt like she was going to do a good job as flower girl. After pictures, I separated from them again to go be a part of the bridesmaid crew and prepare for the ceremony. As we were touching-up our make-up I got a text from Ben: "We need you down here NOW. Charlie Mae is having a meltdown." I ran to the elevator and made my way down. When I got to the lobby, I was greeted by a red-faced, snot-covered toddler who was wailing at the top of her lungs. The breakdown was happening and the ceremony was 10 mins from starting. Charlie Mae--ever sensitive to men and people she doesn't know--had been scared by a couple of people getting too close to her and saying 'hello' right in her face. They didn't mean any harm, but the harm was done nonetheless. I wasn't there to protect her from people who made her "nervous" like I usually do and because of this, she was horrified. I took her in my arms as she wailed that she was "scared" and wanted to go home. I tried to comfort her. I took her to a corner where there was no one around and tried to get her to calm down but it wasn't happening. She was overtired and past the point of return. There was no recovering. As I tried once more to give her a pep talk and get her ready for the ceremony, I was called away because I had to walk down the aisle. I handed her, screaming, to Ben, and ran to my place in line. It was horrible. A few minutes later, I had taken my place at the altar with the rest of the wedding party and was waiting to see what would happen when it was Charlie Mae's turn to come out. When it was, Ben emerged from the back of the room, carrying a snotty (but for the moment, quiet) Charlie Mae on his chest, clinging to him tightly with a sad look on her face. He walked down the aisle with her in his arms and when she saw me, she reached for me. Not knowing what else to do and wanting to keep her quiet, I took her, while standing at the front of the room in front of all of the wedding attendees. But as soon as she was in my arms, she started whimpering loudly. I had to leave my spot and rush back over to Ben, who had just taken his seat, and hand her to him [crying, of course] while he rushed her out of the room and the bride walked down the aisle. I was crushed. I wanted to be present but I could hear her wailing far away. I hated that she [we] had been a distraction from the main event. I had to force myself to turn my attention back to the ceremony and stop obsessing over what had just happened--while knowing that my child was sobbing in a back room wanting me because she was scared. It was SO sad. In the end, Ben and his mom were able to calm her down (thanks, Elmo videos on YouTube!) and I was able to refocus on the BEAUTIFUL ceremony and be present for the special moment. I soaked it in and cried tears of joy as they recited their personalized vows. Ben drove his mom and Charlie Mae home and returned to the wedding. Everything was fine and obviously everyone understood, but I was left reeling. How could this have happened? How could I have prevented it? How could I have failed to get a SINGLE picture of her standing in her adorable outfit before the meltdown? Whyyyyyy?? But really, I know the reason: because when you're a parent (and really, when you're a human being in general), things don't go as planned. Because you expect one thing and then another thing happens. Because being a parent and a person and a sister and a bridesmaid/groomswoman all at once is probably going to lead to a little bit of craziness. And I guess I'm at the point as a mother where I'm realizing that this is one of my biggest lessons to learn. I HAVE to learn to let go of my expectations. I HAVE to learn to go with the flow and let go. I have been working on these things all of my life but it's coming to the point where I have no choice but to learn these lessons or continue to feel confused, disappointed, and distracted when things go wrong. Which they will. Often. Fellow parents, are you with me? Please tell me I'm not the only one...   I've already written about how this blog took a back seat in 2018. And while it's true that I blogged less over the past year than ever before (in my almost 9 years of blogging!), I still wrote a lot of posts that I'm proud of and shared more vulnerably than perhaps ever before. So today, as with the past few years, I thought I'd do a quick round-up of the blog posts that you liked the most in 2018. Although I haven't included it below, the #1 most read/viewed blog post of 2018 (by far!) was the one I wrote when we were looking for a new home for Sayde. This shows the amazing outpouring of support, shares, and help from all of you, so THANK YOU for that. Here are the 10 most-read posts above + beyond the Sayde post: Starr Struck's Most Popular Posts of 2018
And because I think it's interesting, here's a continuation of the blog's thematic breakdown that I've been mapping out every year for a few years now: 2011: The Yoga/Teaching Yoga Year 2012: The Wedding Planning + Marriage Year 2013: The Big Move [to Cape Cod] Year 2014: The Total Self-Employment Year [+ Sayde Year!] 2015: The Home Ownership/Home Improvement Year 2016: The Pregnancy + New Baby Year 2017: The Figuring Out Motherhood Year 2018: The Loss + Big Life Challenges Year As you can see from this year's theme (and not to repeat what I said in Friday's post), I am SO ready to say byeeee to 2018! And I'm pumped about 2019. It's going to be a good one--I can feel it. Have a wonderful NYE and I'll 'see' you back here in 2019! As Charlie Mae would say, weehaw!   This year was a doozy of a year. It felt like life was just handing us one challenge after another, piling it on and asking us, "Can you handle this? And can you handle this? How about this???" I've felt pretty emotionally exhausted over the past [almost] 362 days, but as usual, what got me through were the simple joys that showed up on even the most devastating of days. Sometimes those "joys" arose from being thankful for the absence of something worse ("Although Sayde's Charlie Mae attack was horrible, at least she didn't maim her permanently; although we lost the baby, at least it wasn't further along in the pregnancy...etc.), and at other times they came in the form of basic, sensory experiences that brought me happiness in the moment. Which is why I started #SJOTW in the first place (SO many years ago, now...). So, celebrating the Simple Joys of the Year feels very important this year, because again, even in the harder years there is still so very much for which to be grateful. Here are a few of my overarching Simple Joys from 2018... HEAR: Charlie Mae's communication development Charlie Mae's language just exploded this year. Like both her mom and dad, this little girl has A LOT to say and isn't afraid to open her mouth. Her squeaky little voice is my favorite sound in the world and her funny phrases get me every time. Some of my favorites?
SEE: Ben's Basketball Training Business taking off I'm not going to lie and say that Ben's side-hustle/second job didn't put a strain on our family this year (IT DID! We were already strapped for time together as a family and then Ben added hours of time away from the house each week!), but it was also wonderful seeing how happy + fulfilled it made him, how good he is at training kids (he's really good), and how much it reinvigorated him on a daily basis. I am so happy that he has found an outlet that he loves so much. TASTE: Homemade Buttermilk Pancakes We're a serious Sunday morning breakfast family and this year, we transitioned from being French Toast people to pancake people. Ben has gotten into the habit of making buttermilk pancakes from scratch every Sunday AM and I am NOT mad about it. Neither is Charlie Mae ;) Bring on the syrup! SMELL: Sayde snuggles As backwards as it sounds, all of the horrible events that took place around Sayde this year made me appreciate her more than ever. For the 5 months that we still had her while looking for her new home, I was able to be much more present for our snuggle sessions and QT together. Sure, those 5 months were also VERY hard, but they gave me time to accept the situation and to find the very best home for her possible. Her scent will always be one of my very favorite scents in the entire world. I miss her. TOUCH: Our Bed We've done WAYYYY more traveling than anticipated this past year and while necessary (and fun, of course), it's been exhausting. However, the one constant every time that we return home from a trip has been our amazement at how comfortable our bed is; Ben and I can't even believe it. Often, the first night back in our own bed, we'll look at one another and say something like, "Have I died and gone to heaven? Am I resting on a cloud? Has there ever been anything that feels more amazing?" It's that comfortable. {For those wondering, we bought a king Casper mattress while I was pregnant with Charlie Mae and I can honestly say that it was the best purchase we've ever made. 100% worth the $.} And that's it for now! I've obviously experienced *so many* other wonderful simple joys over the past year, but I'll stop here because like I said, I'm exhausted and am ready to turn the page on this tough year. Have a wonderful last weekend of 2018!   It's the last Friday that we'll be in town before Christmas! We're headed to Marco Island, FL tomorrow, and while I'm not looking forward to the travel day (I don't love flying with a toddler, no matter how amazing she is on the flight...), I am excited to be in the sun + take a week off from work. I know we all need one right about now! So, one last #SJOTW before we head out...I'll be taking the week off from blogging, too (obviously), so I'll see you back here after Christmas! Here's what brought me joy over the past 7 days. What made you smile? HEAR: The Dream podcast Have you heard of this podcast? It was recommended to me by a bunch of people and I finally binged it while working this week; I'm so glad I did because it was really eye-opening. It's all about MLM's--the history and politics behind them, their shady practices, how they hurt people (and how they can help *some* people), etc. If you have any interest in MLM's or if you're involved in one, I definitely suggest you listen! SEE: The Color Purple (the book) Somehow, despite being an English major in college and taking lots of advanced English classes in high school, I'd never read The Color Purple before. I'm not sure how this happened, but it did. And I didn't even realize it until I saw the book show up for free on Prime Reading (yay!) and read the blurb, thinking, 'Have I really not read this?' So I read it and I now understand why it's a classic. It is SO incredible. It's still free on Prime Reading so check it out if you, too, missed it somehow! TASTE: Homemade Chocolate Chip Cookies Ben made us homemade cookies last weekend and they were the tastiest! He even added walnuts, just like I like them ;) My only complaint? I wish he hadn't eaten the majority of them so I could have enjoyed a few more (haha). SMELL: Sayde Did you see on social media? Sayde came to stay with us from Sunday-Tuesday! It was SUCH a treat! Her new owners had to head out of town for a few days and asked if we would keep her. Of course we would! We fell right back into our normal routine and it was heavenly. I miss her so much--her warmth, her snuggles, her constant companionship, her scent. Having her back was really wonderful* *But it was also a reminder of how hard it was to have her here and how hard it was to keep her and Charlie Mae separate all day long, so it validated our decision, too, which was good. TOUCH: Wrapping up my last week of Etsy orders of the season! Today is the very last day that my Etsy shop will be open before Christmas. If you wanted to snag any last gifts--do so today! It feels weird to be closing shop before the final busy week of shopping, but it also feels nice to know that my crazy packaging and wrapping days are coming to a close for the year. Thank you SO much to everyone who shopped with me this season and all year long. And that's it from me for now! I hope you can find some time to reflect on your #SJOTW today, too. Have a WONDERFUL holiday season and I'll see you back here once or twice more before 2019 (eek!).   I've been blogging for almost 8 years. In that time, I've written A LOT of blog posts about a lot of very vulnerable things. I've also written a lot of blog posts about silly things, about frivolous things, and about the basics of my day-to-day life. I've just written a lot of blog posts, period. And I love blogging. I love writing and I love sharing and I love putting myself out into the world and connecting with you. But I can only do so much. And this past year, as my life outside of the blog has grown more demanding (see: toddlers take a lot of energy + running a small business takes a lot of energy) and as my interest in "micro-blogging" through Instagram has grown, this blog has taken a back seat. I don't know about you, but I've also felt pretty inundated by "content" this year. Don't get me wrong--I adore all of the incredible content that everyone is putting out into the world and I enjoy consuming SO much of it--but my own desire to create blog content has changed as I've felt the content output around me grow. It's the same reason that I've slowly pulled further and further away from Facebook: it's just a lot to take in sometimes and I don't love being another person just adding to the noise (although I often have to be for the sake of my biznass!!!). So, while I've still been using this blog as a place to share my story, I've done so less in 2018 than in the past. This year, I've spent my blogging time sharing more of the deeper, personal, often hard stuff that I think it's important to put out there in order to make others feel less alone, and I've stopped talking as much about everything else. This wasn't intentional, it just happened slowly over the course of the past year or two as my life has changed and the online landscape around me has changed, too. I guess what I'm trying to say here is that yes, as I reflect on 2018 and the past 8 years of blogging, I acknowledge that this blog has changed dramatically. If you miss the way that it used to be, I'm sorry. I do, too, but I simply don't have the capacity for a daily blog anymore. So, I'll continue to skip the blogging basics for now, like Gift Guides or product round-ups or even sponsored posts (!), but I'm sticking around and will continue to do so; I'll continue to blog at this same, less frequent rate in 2019, focusing on writing only when I feel like I have something important to say as a mother, a business owner, a yogi, or an artist (and sticking with my weekly #SJOTW, of course). I simply don't want to add to the noise unless I feel I have something worthy of contributing, and I don't want this blog to become a once-special-place that has been forgotten in all of the noise. I hope you understand and I appreciate your continuing to come along on this journey with me. If you ARE someone who misses the more newsy, life update-y version of the blog, follow me over on Instagram where you'll get a much closer look at my day-to-day experience.   [Note: I know the above pic isn't great quality, but I just had to share it because I LOVE the fact that Uggs are thigh-high boots on a toddler and that CM likes wearing them so much, despite the fact that they're next to impossible for her to walk in. Also, this pic is an accurate representation of our home life right now and thus, is an accurate representation of this past week, too.] Well, here we are: another Friday! This December is turning out to be a really weird one for us; we leave for a family trip t0 FL on the 15th, so this weekend is our last full weekend in town until Christmas. It feels strange to know that I'm shutting it down [work-wise + Etsy shop-wise] on the 14th--I've never called it quits so early in December before! But, I'm sure the break will be a welcome one once we're actually there and taking some time off. It's always just the build-up and preparation for travel that's the hardest, especially during the holidays... How was your week? Can you take some time to reflect on your simple joys today? Mine are below... HEAR: Hamilton and In the Heights Soundtracks I've been on a Broadway Musical kick this week--specifically a Lin-Manuel Miranda musical kick ;) While I haven't seen Hamilton yet (waaahhhhhhhhhhhh), I did see Miranda's first hit, In the Heights, twice back when I lived in NYC and I loved it SO so so much. When re-listening to both of these soundtracks, I can't help but be struck by Miranda's genius again and again. He's just so incredible and so are his creations. SEE: House of Cards Believe it or not, I'm new to this show. It was one of those classic couple things: Ben and I were going to start watching it together when Season 1 first came out (years ago now), and while I was out of town one week, he watched the entire thing without me. Even though he told me to catch up so we could watch Season 2 together, I was so mad that I never even tried to watch it and it has always been "his" show. But, he recently decided he wanted to watch it all over again this winter so here we are. We started watching it last weekend and I was hooked immediately. I finally get what all of the hype has been about for all these years! [My only issue with House of Cards: I wish I didn't know what I now know about Kevin Spacey--or that he wasn't such a bad guy IRL. Do you, too, feel weird about watching shows with known predators in them? Should I not be supporting it in this way? Such a hard thing to navigate... Ugh.] TASTE: Smith Family Popcorn in Sea Salt Caramel OMG, Ben's Aunt brought us this locally-made popcorn last weekend and it was de-licious. Ben wolfed down most of the bag one night after I went to bed (#typical) but Charlie Mad and I each enjoyed a little bit before it was gone and loved it. So good--and of course I adore that it's locally-made! SMELL: Our little Christmas Tree :) We got a cute little Christmas Tree last week (Ben insisted in a very small one this year, haha) and it's been bringing us all so much happiness. Every year I'm amazed at how special it feels to have a tree, twinkle lights, and wreaths up. It doesn't take much to make things feel Christmas-y and a little more magical around here, and I always appreciate it even much more than I anticipated I would. TOUCH: Home practice As much as I have a love/hate relationship with practicing yoga at home (the dustballs on the floor! The toys and STUFF all around me!), there's just nothing like a really good home practice and I had one this week. I practiced right in front of the tree with some great music on in the background, and was able to tune out my surroundings and get into the flow. The best. And that's it for this week! I hope you can find the time to reflect on your #SJOTW today and that you have a wonderful weekend. I'll see ya back here next week!  
Here's December's Audio Class for ya! I guess I missed November because it was the fastest month in history [what even happened last month?]...please forgive me.
Learn more about this month's 1hr class + listen below: Class Description: In this 1 hour audio yoga class we focus on opening the hamstrings + hip flexors. We build up to [optional] full splits and there's a chance to play with handstand, too. This class is not for beginners; experienced practitioners only (Level 2-3 class). Recorded live. **If you have blocks, grab them for this class! They'll be helpful!* How to Listen: You can listen directly from this website (player below) or on Apple Podcasts or Stitcher (search "Starr Struck Yoga: Live Yoga Classes"). If you subscribe to this "podcast" wherever you listen to podcasts, you will automatically get each new class that I post in your podcast feed on your phone. A Note About the Audio Quality: These classes are not professional recordings, so you will hear me mess up, you'll hear students sneeze, you'll hear me whisper a specific instruction to a specific student, and at times, the audio quality might not be the best. Apologies, but hey, they're free and as authentic as you can get without being in the actual class! ;) Enjoy + happy yoga-ing! 
 I can't even with the date today. I'm always that girl but seriously--how are we just a tad over a month out from 2019!?!?!? Ummmmmm. Thank goodness for SJOTW because it makes me slow down and reflect on this life that is flying by at the speed of light. What brought you joy over the past 7 days? My favorite simple, sensory joys from our trip home to GA + beyond are below... HEAR: Family drum circle/music circle/sing-a-long My family is all about music. At my dad's house (where we stayed last weekend) he has basically every instrument you could imagine just sitting out somewhere within reach. This makes his house pretty dreamy for a music-loving toddler and an impromptu morning sing-a-long took it up a notch and left Charlie Mae beaming. Also, it made me MELT to hear her singing along with all of us [at the top of her lungs] while we sang her favorite songs (with my dad on the guitar and brothers on the drums, of course). It was so fun. SEE: Charlie Mae with my cousin's children Another sweet motherhood moment (isn't that what the holidays are for when you're a parent?): I got to see Charlie Mae interacting with/infatuated with my cousin's two children! They had never met before and although I would have loved for them to become inseparable immediately, they were slow to warm up and our visit was too short for that to happen, but it was still adorable to observe them playing tentatively together. TASTE: Thanksgiving (we did ours on Friday so it falls within this window!) I mean, duh. I don't need to say much about this except that Thanksgiving food is the best. And sweet Ben basically made our entire meal for my entire family (and extended family) while we were in ATL, so it was extra appreciated this year. Yay for Ben's amazing abilities in the kitchen! SMELL: Trader Joe's Coconut Body Butter 'Tis the season for super dry cracked skin and this is my favorite lotion out there right now. It's super cheap, smells DIVINE, feels great going on, and of course, is extremely affordable since it's from TJs. Try it! You won't be disappointed. TOUCH: Clean clothes/a fixed washer We came home from our trip to a broken washer, which was kind of the worst (hello, dirty laundry piles all over the house!). But we had someone come fix it on Wednesday and just a mere $300 later (ha!), we're back in business. This whole debacle made me *very* appreciative of working appliances everywhere. And there you go! I hope you can find the time to reflect on your #SJOTW today, too... Have a wonderful weekend!   I've always struggled with anxiety, but now that I'm a mom, I've become intimately acquainted with a new brand of anxiety--one that was programmed into my being when our ancestors were living in a dangerous world surrounded by predators, the elements, and poisonous plants--MamAnxiety. This kind of anxiety is a turbo anxiety; it's anxiety on steroids. It causes a mother's brain to imagine the worst case scenario in every possible situation, even the most mundane. For instance, the other night I was walking out the door to teach my Wednesday night yoga class. I didn't lock the door behind me as I usually do, because Ben and Charlie Mae were playing a few feet from the front door in the room I had just exited. But as I walked to the car, I started to imagine what would happen now that I didn't lock the door. Ben wouldn't think to lock it before taking Charlie Mae up to bed, and while they were reading together, someone would sneak into our house, tip-toe up the stairs, and kill them both. So I went back and locked the front door. Here's another example: Our washing machine is broken (every mom's dream) and the repair person can't come for a few days. Last night, we had a load of wet laundry (that had been only half washed before our washer gave out) soaking in the bathtub. As soon as Charlie Mae got home and walked past the bathroom door, I saw what would occur if I didn't drain the water stat: she would head into the bathroom and uncharacteristically try to climb into the bathtub to see what was happening with those clothes. Of course while climbing, she would immediately fall and drown in the dirty laundry and sitting water. It was a nightmare waiting to happen. If you're a mother, I know these inner dialogues and scenarios are familiar to you. I know you've seen these visions, too, whether you see them as frequently as I do or not. They're necessary for our species' survival over time and we're programmed for them, but they definitely aren't fun. Every new mom that I've spoken to has had the vision of dropping her newborn down the stairs as she trudges, sleep-deprived, up and down them. I'm sure many mothers have imagined dropping a knife and accidentally stabbing a child, or tripping and flinging a child into a sharp object that immediately impales said child. It's pretty gruesome, but this is what happens in a mama's brain. Or, at least, in this anxious mama's brain. At times, I'm thankful for this MamAnxiety. I think it really does help me keep my daughter safe and think about what could happen before it happens [and thus, prevent it]. But at other times, I'm resentful that I have to go about life imagining so many horrible disasters around every turn. That my husband isn't plagued by these same visions, that he isn't always looking two steps ahead and trying to prevent something bad from taking place. Then I look at my daughter and am reminded that she is the most important thing in my life, and as humans, when we have something that we really love and value, it's only natural to do what we can to protect it. So I hug her, and I repeatedly move her away from pointy corners of furniture, tighten her seatbelt straps, and wrap my hands around her waist when she stands up in the bathtub. And then I thank my lucky stars that I was given this role to play in life, even if it is one that has caused me more anxiety than ever before.  PS. Obviously this pic was taken over a year ago (look at how short and wonderfully chubby CM was!!!), but I feel like it accurately represents what I'm talking about here.
The final episode of #BOCC Season 1 is out today! This week, we're featuring my interview with a very successful local musician:
Bart Weisman has always been a musician, but he didn't make a living from music until he moved to Cape Cod in 2003. Since then, Bart has made a name for himself by playing Jazz all over the Cape, creating a number of bands, and starting the Provincetown Jazz Festival. In this episode, Bart shares how he became so successful while starting over in a totally new place and how he earns a living being a creative and doing what he loves. Learn more at BartWeisman.com and BuiltonCapeCod.com. This episode is sponsored by Rogers & Gray Insurance and is brought to you by yours truly + LoveLiveLocal. How to Listen: Apple Podcasts | Stitcher | Podcast Landing Page | Stream below... Thanks for your support this season! We'll be back with Season 2 in a few months. 
 This weekend is crazy! There are so many sales to choose from, so many things to buy, so many emails in your inbox and ads in your face! And while I hate to add to that noise, I also can't *not* participate, ya know? So, as a small token of my appreciation for your support all year long, I'm having a #SmallBusinessSaturday sale in my Etsy shop and for the first time ever, on my consulting services. The deals are below:
This sale will be going on from 12:01am Saturday-11:59pm Sunday. Here are the deets on how you can save: -FREE CARD WITH ETSY SHOP ORDER OVER $40: If your order is over $40, just include a note at checkout letting me know which card you want me to include (any card in my shop). If you don't tell me which one you want, I'll choose for you ;) -15% OFF IN MY ETSY SHOP: Use the code SMALLBIZ2018 to save. -CONSULTING SESSION DISCOUNTS: Discounts have already been applied to these products so all you have to do is pay for your session(s) during the sale! Thank you again for EVERYTHING this year! Hope you have a great post-Thanksgiving weekend.  
Got some Thanksgiving travels coming up? Use that time to catch up on #BOCC! This week's episode features a local retailer:
Sea Sports Cyclery + Outdoor has been open since 1993--since owner Jeff Craddock was in high school and began working for his dad's new business in his down time. Jeff has now been running the business on his own for years and has grown it from a very small scuba + snorkel shop to a booming retail + repair shop and community hub for cyclists, paddle boarders, kayakers, and more. In this week's episode he shares how he got to where he is today and what it's like to run a growing business. Learn more at CapeCodSeaSports.com and/or BuiltonCapeCod.com. This episode is sponsored by Rogers & Gray Insurance and Sunderland Printing. How to Listen: Apple Podcasts | Stitcher | Podcast Landing Page | Stream below... Thanks for listening and have a wonderful Thanksgiving! Be back here next week. 
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HELLO!I'm Mary Catherine, a Cape Cod-based yoga teacher, painter, designer, writer, mom, and list-maker extraordinaire. My goal is to inspire you to start living a more creative, simple, joyful, + purposeful life.
{Learn more + read my story} 
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