 Um, did you guys realize that it's April 20th already!? The fact that May is inching closer and closer is crazy, especially because it still doesn't really feel like spring around here...and also because in my mind, it's still the beginning of 2018. Oh, time. How was your week? Can we slow things down by reflecting for a moment? Here are a few of the simple, sensory pleasures that brought me joy over the past 7 days... HEAR: "Most People are Good" by Luke Brian I know this country song is super cheesy, but I kind of love it and agree with the sentiment. I do believe most people are good (despite all of the horrors in the world) and I do believe you "love who you love and [that there] ain't nothing you should ever be ashamed of," and yeah, I also believe that "most mama's oughta quality for Sainthood" (hahaha!), so I'm into it. I'm a cheesy country fan through-and-through ;) You can listen here. SEE: Charlie Mae enjoying the great outdoors Although it wasn't super warm, it was warm enough last Friday + Saturday for us to get outside with Charlie Mae. On Friday I went on a hike with a friend and wore her in my new backpack carrier (thanks for the hand-me-down, Abby!), and on Saturday we took her to a local park that she's totally obsessed with. It's so amazing seeing her come alive exploring new places/the outdoors after *such* a long winter with very little exploration. Summer is going to be so amazing! TASTE: Date night dinner Ben and I had a casual date night on Sunday night and it was long-overdue and delicious. It had been a while since we'd gone out to dinner just the two of us, and let me tell you, eating my dinner in peace, without feeding/running after/taking care of a toddler the whole time was a dream. I actually tasted and enjoyed my meal + glass of wine! Hooray! Shout-out to my MIL Susanne for babysitting so we could make this happen. SMELL: Simply Sugarless Blueberry Muffins (aka homemade toddler muffins) baking in the oven I've been wanting to make these muffins since WAAAYYYY back in March, 2016, when we first posted them to the blog. But alas, it took me until now to get to them. That being said, they're delicious and smelled so good while baking! And Charlie Mae loves them! We made them together yesterday and it was the best. Thanks for the recipe, Sara, and thanks for the help, Charlie Mae (HAHA). TOUCH: My new short hair (!!!) I chopped off all my hair this week and it feels ahhhhhh-mazing. I was super scared to do it (as you may have seen on my Instagram Story) but now that it's done, I feel free and light and more easy-breezy than ever; who knew I would LOVE having short hair? Also, I got to donate 10+ inches to Locks of Love, so that made it extra worth it. Thanks to my amazing hair stylist, Kate Scott, for your talent and patience as I freaked out in your chair! ...And there you have it. I hope you have a wonderful weekend full of simple joys--and that you can find some time to reflect back on your past week today... See you back here next Tuesday!   Even though it doesn't feel [or look] like spring [at all] around here, it is supposedly spring so I guess that means it's time for my spring reading list! I'm reading a *really* disturbing WWII-based historical fiction book right now (Finding Rebecca by Eoin Dempsey) and while it's very good, it's also been leaving me extremely sad and freaked out every night after reading, so it was nice to write this blog post and think about moving on to lighter books after I finish this one. Don't get me wrong--I'm going to read through to the end--but the graphic descriptions of Auschwitz and in particular, of the mass execution of children has been really hard for me to read about right now... So anyways, here are the books that are on my list/that I think you should add to your list this spring!
Happy reading + happy [eventual] spring!   Hey hey Friday! Here we are--ready to kick off another weekend! It's supposed to be in the 50's on Cape Cod today (I'll take it) and Charlie Mae and I have plans to go on a morning hike with some friends, so I'm excited about what lies ahead...but first, we need to talk SJOTW. How was your week? Full of simple pleasures, I hope? Here's what brought me joy over the past 7 days... HEAR: The Pitch Podcast If you like Shark Tank, Startup, How I Built This, or any podcast or show about entrepreneurs pitching their business ideas to investors, then you need to listen to The Pitch. It's one of my favorites these days. I love hearing about the businesses people are starting, I love hearing the investors' feedback and thoughts on those businesses, and I love the whole startup world in general. Check it out! [Note: I know I've mentioned this podcast here before, but that was a long time ago and I felt like it needed another shout-out. Esp. because I've been enjoying it so much lately.] SEE: Finished work projects I know this sounds boring, but you know when you have a super productive week and you're able to knock out a few big projects that have been looming? That's what happened in my world this week and it felt AWESOME. It was so great to have 3 full daycare days in a row and only a handful of extra calls/meetings so that I could really focus on my workload, and it was exciting seeing my recently-finished products being used out in the [internet] world right away. Three cheers for productivity! I'll share some recent projects here soon... TASTE: Theo Salted Almond Dark Chocolate I have decided that this is officially my favorite dark chocolate brand. I love every single variety that they make but am stuck on this flavor lately. It's SO delicious and a small amount goes a long way (as does a large amount, hahaha). SMELL: My morning cuppa Tazo Organic Chai Tea I buy my AM tea in bulk (to save $) and ran out for a few weeks. I had ordered more but it got held up in shipping and yada yada yada I had to rely on my back-up English Breakfast for about 2 weeks. I know it doesn't sound like much, but let me tell you, my first day back with my old fave (last weekend) was divine and I've been appreciating my morning cup even more this week. It's my favorite way to start the day! TOUCH: Swinging in the hammock Charlie Mae is OBSESSED with swinging in our hammock. It's not exactly warm enough for hammock swinging around here yet, but I brought it out last weekend anyway and all she wants to do is swing all day err day (which you'll know if you saw my Instagram story last weekend, ha!). And you know what? I enjoy a good hammock swinging session, too, so it's been lovely. It will be even lovelier when it's just a *smidge* warmer ;) And there you go! Another week of simple joys has come and gone. I hope that you can find the time to reflect on your SJOTW today, too. Have a wonderful weekend and I'll see you back here on Tuesday! [As a reminder or in case you missed it: I'm moving my blogging days to Tuesdays and Fridays for the time being, so you'll find new posts those days and not on Mondays + Wednesdays for now...].   Author's note: I hate the term "baby weight" and the whole culture around "losing the baby weight." I think it's stupid and plays into the idea that women should be able to "bounce right back" after their bodies have gone through the biggest transformation + journey possible. That being said, I've written this post partly in jest and partly in all seriousness because I think that the way our bodies change because of pregnancy is interesting and because my relationship with my body + body image issues has changed *so* much since becoming a mom. Before I was ever pregnant--before motherhood was ever really on my radar--I was always worried about the weight gain that would come with pregnancy and childbirth. I'd heard all of the stories about how hard it can be to "lose the baby weight," and as someone who has struggled a lot with body image and eating issues in the past, I worried that the extra pounds associated with this life change would be a big deal for me (if and when I had a child). In reality, they weren't. I was lucky; I had a healthy and active pregnancy and I felt great in my body the entire time. I was able to walk, workout, and do yoga right up until I gave birth, and despite suffering from some birth injuries, I was able to start moving again fairly soon after labor and delivery. And my worries about what my body would look + feel like after having a baby? They were really a non-issue. After having Charlie Mae, for the first time in my life, the shape of my body just didn't matter that much to me anymore. I had something much more important to think about now--keeping my baby alive, getting through the day, and trying desperately to find time to get some sleep. Everything else fell to the wayside. Once my body had carried, birthed, and fed my child, I also had such a newfound appreciation for it that I no longer felt like beating it up. Similarly, as I've already noted, I just didn't have the time and/or energy to think about my dimply thighs or softer-than-normal belly anymore because I was too exhausted (have I mentioned that I was tired during the first year of Charlie Mae's life?!?). Which brings me to the title of this post, "How I Lost the Baby Weight." Here's how I "shed those extra lbs" (HAHAHA) after having a baby, which was *totally* intentional and took lots of planning, time, and energy on my part--all of which new moms have plenty (LOL):
So there you go. I've also been drinking way more red wine these days, eating dark chocolate every night (total mom cliches, I know...) and in general, working out way less than ever before (time and frequency-wise). Who knew these were the keys to a normal body weight!?!?! All of that being said, I do want to emphasize that my body is very different now. Even though I may weigh the same amount as I did pre-baby, my skin is saggier in places, certain parts of my body that weren't even that perky before are even less perky now (again, HAHAHA), but my acceptance of my body is so different it's striking. These days, what my body looks like to others just doesn't matter to me; what matters is how I feel inside of my body. And although my lower back is sore from picking up my toddler all the time and I'm always tired and have way more break-outs post-baby than I did before (WTF has happened to my skin!??!!), I feel pretty good inside this body right now, regardless. And that's one of the biggest non-Charlie-Mae-related gifts that pregnancy and childbirth has given me.  PS. As you may have noticed, this post went up on Tuesday, not my usual Monday. For the time being, I've decided to drop my blogging days down to Tuesdays and Fridays, because I need a bit more time in my schedule for work and family logistics right now. As I told you on my blogiversary last month, I am going to be blogging as long as it's a thing so this is not my way of slowly quitting or anything, it's just my way of scaling back for a while. Be sure to follow me on Instagram and Facebook to stay connected on non-blogging days!
Another Fri-yay is already here! These weeks...I won't even say it because I know I'm a broken record...
How was your week? We had a great one around here--my dad was visiting, we had a super special Easter, and Charlie Mae was in wonderful spirits (every week that goes by during which she isn't sick and/or teething is such a gift). Here are a few of the simple, sensory joys that brought me happiness over the past 7 days... HEAR: "Laya" by Good Vibes Collective This song is on my April class playlist and it's so beautiful. It's the perfect yoga song--repetitive, long, beautiful, and doesn't have any recognizable words. You can listen below: SEE: Charlie Mae on Easter // Charlie Mae and my Dad together I couldn't pick just one so I had to include both here. First, Charlie Mae had THE BEST Easter and it was such a joy to watch her enjoying it. She was honored at the Unitarian Church where Ben's family has been going for years (CM is the 5th Generation to enter the doors!), she had a blast hunting for Easter eggs in the yard, she ate her first 4 jellybeans (which she loved), and we had a big family dinner at our house during which she was the starr (hehe!) of the show and totally soaked up all of the attention. Also, her little Easter dress was so adorable I could hardly handle it. And Second, I loved seeing my dad and Charlie Mae interacting during his visit all week. It's so hard when your family doesn't live close by, but it's extra special when they do come and you can see how quickly they reconnect with your child (and quickly she makes them a part of her world). It was a great visit! TASTE: Easter Dinner Although we "hosted" Easter dinner, Ben's family (and especially his mom) made almost everything and brought it all over to be served. The food was SO good, as were the desserts (of course)--especially the little bunny cupcakes pictured above, which Ben's mom made from scratch. It was so great hosting a delicious meal but not having to do any of the prep/cooking! SMELL: GT's Gingerade Kombucha This Kombucha is the best! I love it so much. The addition of ginger is clutch--give me ginger on anything + everything and I'm a happy gal. I enjoyed a bottle of this Gingerade over the course of a few days this week and it hit the spot. TOUCH: Play-Doh Our girl got some Play-Doh in her Easter basket and although she's never been a fan in the past, she's finally fallen in love with it and it's been great. Play-Doh is fun for everyone, ya know!? We've had some good times making little sculptures this week ;) And there you have it: another week full of simple pleasures is in the bag. I hope you have a lovely weekend and look forward to seeing some of you at my workshop tonight! Oh, and don't forget to take a few moments to reflect back on your SJOTW today if you can...it's such a great way to memorialize all of the little things that make life enjoyable. 
 {Click on the image above to enlarge and view in more detail/view small text} With the arrival of April + tax day comes my yearly reflection on money, income, expenses, and how I make a living. As I mentioned in my recent blog post about the hidden costs of having a child when you work for yourself, this time of year always has me comparing my income for the preceding year to that of past years and looking at how things have changed for me as a solopreneur. Because it's become a bit of a tradition around here, I wanted to once again share where my income comes from and a quick breakdown of exactly how I make money, which has changed a lot since my first installment of this post waaaay back in 2015. I've included pie charts showing the difference in where my income came from in 2016 vs 2017, and here's a breakdown of the "buckets" into which I file my income: YOGA TEACHING BUCKET
ART BUCKET
CONSULTING BUCKET
BLOG BUCKET
Interesting, right? It takes WHOLE lot of buckets to make the money that I make but I wouldn't have it any other way ;) Another interesting note: for the first time ever, my income held steady (instead of increasing) from 2016 to 2017. I outlined the reasons for this in my post about how having a child in late 2016 impacted my ability to make money in 2017, but I find it interesting that despite making the same amount over the course of these two years, the methods in which I made this money changed quite a bit (as you can see from the chart). Fellow solopreneurs, have you looked back at how your income streams have changed in the past few years? If not, you should! It's a very eye-opening exercise and a great way to take stock of where you are in your business. You can take a look back at last year's summary here and glance at 2015 here.   "Don't cling to a mistake just because you spent a lot of time making it." -Unknown I recently saw the above quote on Instagram (of course) and my brain immediately said, "YES!!!! This is what I've been trying to say for all of these years but have never been able to express [so succinctly]!" It spoke to me on *every* level. And I would also add: Don't cling to a mistake just because you spent a lot of money making it. Because if there's one thing that I've learned since joining the workforce and stumbling through the dark trying to create a fulfilling, meaningful adult life for myself it's that we all make a lot of mistakes. Some mistakes are huge, some are small. Some are dumb, some are super disappointing, some are embarrassing, some are expensive, and some are painful or heartbreaking, but all are learning moments. Every mistake presents you with a choice: will you cling to that mistake, to the results, to your desired outcome, or will you let go and pivot, make a change, go in a different direction? I had a conversation once with a student who had been working as a lawyer for a few years and hated it. She had gone to law school, taken out an enormous amount of student loans to make it possible, and was now saddled with debt in a job + field that made her miserable. She was talking about the predicament in which she now found herself and she said, "Yeah, I made a mistake. It was a 100,000 mistake, but it was still a mistake. Should I spend the rest of my life paying for that mistake or should I just give myself permission to cut my losses and get out now?" I remember being blown away by this wisdom. And thinking about how every mistake has some sort of investment involved with it, whether that investment is time, money, heart, brain-space, energy, or all of the above all at once. Because no one every knowingly sets out to make a mistake, but we all make them ALL the time. Your latest mistake might be a big, life-altering mistake--you might have married the wrong person, moved to the wrong place, taken the wrong job, hurt someone you love, knowingly done something really wrong--or it might be a small, day or week-altering one. It might just be a mood-altering mistake and nothing more. But how can you let that mistake go? Move past it? Pivot? What would happen if you tried? Despite being someone who has always hated making mistakes (I want 100% perfection at all times, dammit!), I am learning to love the wisdom that lies just beyond each mistake that I make, and the way that my mistakes make me a more compassionate, more understanding, more open-hearted individual. I guess if mistakes are what it takes to get me there, I'll take it.   This was such a good week! It was the first in a while where nothing crazy happened (no one was sick, we had no big storms, no trips were canceled, there were no sleepless nights, etc.) and it felt lovely to settle into a bit of a routine and get caught up on life. I hope your week was similarly [wonderfully] mundane! And now lets talk simple joys: here are a few of the sensory pleasures that made me smile over the past 7 days... [PS. In case you didn't see on social media, my trip last weekend got canceled. Not because of the weather, but because Charlie Mae came down with a high fever the night before we were supposed to fly out together. So that's why you won't see any TN trip-related simple joys below (sigh).] HEAR: "Speed of Sound" by Communist Daughter I heard an interview with two members of this band (a husband + wife duo) on one of my favorite podcasts, Death, Sex, & Money, and had to listen to their music afterward. Of course when I started listening I was immediately hooked and the rest is history. You can listen to one of my favorite songs by Communist Daughter here. SEE: Ben's excitement re: starting his basketball business Ben decided to turn his volunteer basketball coaching "side-hustle" into a real business (still a side hustle though, of course) and I couldn't be more excited for him! He launched Swish Private Basketball Coaching this week (with a little help from his wife, of course), and it's been so lovely seeing him come to life as he fields calls, books court time, and finds a way to monetize what he has already been doing and loves SO much. I adore small businesses--no matter how small or how part-time they might be! TASTE: Family trip to Steve & Sue's Par-Tee Freeze (our fave soft serve ice cream spot) Charlie Mae has been asking for ice cream a lot these days. Oops. We gave it to her when she was sick and we were desperate to get her antibiotics down her throat (medicine milkshake, anyone?) and since then, she wants it all the time. So last weekend, after she had been asking for ice cream all week long, we promised her we would go get some on Saturday night. It was so fun sharing my cup of soft serve with her and this little trip made me very excited for summer when we can go and sit outside while eating it. I love being an ice cream family :) SMELL: Fresh-smelling yoga clothes thanks to my winning laundry combo, Charlie's Soap Laundry Powder + Rockin' Green Active Wear Detergent I gave Rockin' Green a shout-out here back in January, and now I need to share my love for Charlie's Soap's Laundry Powder, too, the other piece of my laundry puzzle. A lot of my [expensive] yoga clothes had gotten pretty icky from years of teaching in hot studios, and these two products have revived them and gotten rid of the smelliness for good. Here's what I did/do: every once in a while, I soak everything in the Rockin' Green to get rid of all of the smelly bacteria that builds up on active wear. Then every time that I do a load of my yoga clothes, I use Charlie's Soap as my detergent. This combo has gotten rid of the stink and saved me from having to buy all new clothes. Yay! TOUCH: Playing outside with sticks, grass, bubbles, etc. (aka a spring-like day!) Charlie Mae was home from daycare yesterday and it was a GORGEOUS day. It was sunny and 50 degrees out, so we spent the morning playing in the yard, going on a walk, getting out her new Elmo bubble-maker and dancing in the bubbles...and it was the best. We're so ready for warm weather around here! It's going to be life-changing with a toddler! We had so much fun yesterday and I love how having a child makes you get outside and play in ways you never would otherwise. And there you have it! Another week + another month in the bag. Woah. I hope you have a wonderful weekend and a lovely Easter *full* of simple joys!  
Better late than never...your March Audio Yoga class! This one requires a strap (or strap-like prop if you don't have an official "yoga strap") + a desire to open your shoulders (oh yeah).
Ready to practice? Here's everything you need to know about this class... Class Description: In this 75-minute audio yoga class we focus on opening the shoulders, spine, and heart center through a number of back-bending and shoulder-opening poses (many of which involve your handy dandy yoga strap!). This class is not for beginners; experienced practitioners only (level 2-3 class). Recorded live. How to Listen: You can listen directly from this website (player below) or on Apple Podcasts or Stitcher (search "Starr Struck Yoga: Live Yoga Classes"). If you subscribe to this "podcast" wherever you listen to podcasts, you will automatically get each new class that I post in your podcast feed on your phone. A Note About the Audio Quality: These classes are not professional recordings, so you will hear me mess up, you'll hear students sneeze, you'll hear me whisper a specific instruction to a specific student, and at times, the audio quality might not be the best. Apologies, but hey, they're free and as authentic as you can get without being in the actual class! ;) You can stream the class here: Enjoy! 
 The other night, I had a nightmare about a huge poisonous snake that was living in our house. It was enormous--when resting on the floor it curled around the entire perimeter of a big room and it was at least a few feet thick. In my dream, the snake had been there all along, hiding behind the furniture and just below the surface, but somehow we hadn't known it was there until we did and then it was petrifying trying to contain it. I know this sounds ridiculous, but this dream is rooted in a real experience and an old family "joke:" when we were younger, my reptile-obsessed brother, Peter, had a California King Snake that he kept in a cage in his room. He fed it live baby mice (horrifying), took it out and let it coil around his arms, shoulders + neck, and would put it on the floor or bed and watch it slither around. At some point, Peter's snake escaped out of it's cage and into the house and was never found again. The snake was small-ish when it escaped (a few feet, perhaps?), but it became family lore that it was living under the house, growing bigger every day, and that someday it would reappear... I wasn't necessarily scared of Peter's snake--and definitely wasn't scared of it when it was his caged pet--but I became scared of the idea of something uncontrollable living and growing beneath us. It was the idea of the snake, hidden from view and ready to emerge when we least expected it, that scared me the most. I also had midnight terrors as a child (I know I've mentioned them here before) and I still vividly remember those recurring waking nightmares. Although Peter's snake didn't appear in any of those dreams (they happened many years before his first reptilian pet entered the picture), they had a similar framework: my midnight terrors were often based on something growing large and overtaking me, my life, my time, my family. Which brings me to my present day fears, which are quite different than my childhood fears but share some similarities in that they're often related to uncontrollable forces that are bigger than me and growing in power, or lurking just below the surface, waiting to emerge and swallow me and/or my loved ones whole. I know that talking about fears is not inspiring or uplifting and I promise you that I'm not trying to be a Debbie Downer; I think it's healthy to put your fears out there so that they don't have as much power over you and I think it's helpful to hear that other people have the same fears that you do--or at least, personally, it makes me feel less crazy + anxiety-ridden to know that I'm not the only one with a given fear. So, here are some of the fears that lurk in the back of my mind today: Gun violence in our country. And especially in schools. It's a very scary time to be a student, a parent, a person of color, and/or someone who is in the wrong place at the wrong time in our country. It's especially horrifying to think that kids no longer feel safe at school and I'm already scared of sending Charlie Mae to school one day. Salmonella. Somewhere along the way, I became convinced that if you are making food with raw chicken or raw eggs, Salmonella is basically everywhere + on every surface, just waiting to attack. It's funny because I'm not really worried about germs, but when it comes to Salmonella, you cannot wash your hands or surfaces enough to assuage my fear. Infidelity. This is one of those things that I just can't imagine having to weather as a couple, but that I know happens in 1/3 of marriages. I can't imagine a life without Ben (and don't want to!) and this is something that I know would end our marriage. Ugh, I hate even typing this/thinking about it. Losing a loved one totally unexpectedly. This has gotten worse since becoming a parent, but it's that momentary flash of fear that goes through my mind when my husband and child drive away in a car and I think about what would happen if something happened to them. Again, it's so scary I don't even want to type it. Cockroaches. Growing up in GA where they are seemingly everywhere made me *totally petrified* of cockroaches. My biggest nightmare is having one walk across my face while I'm asleep (or eating one accidentally). Mental Illness. Terminal Illnesses. Illnesses that eat you from the inside out. Those illnesses that could emerge at any time and take away your life, or your quality of life, or your ability to be there for your loved ones. With every weird ailment my mind immediately jumps to a "What if it's ______" worst-case scenario. Donald Trump. I know this might sound like hyperbole to some of you, but our President truly scares me. I'm scared of the things he might do, some of the people he has empowered, and what will happen to our country while he is in power. And those are just *some* of my bigger fears...you know I could go on and on (fun-fun!)... Pretty grim, right? These are not things any of us want to focus on, but there is something real about speaking your fears aloud and then choosing to move through life in a more grounded, present, grateful way despite the fact that they are there. Or in the wise words of Pema Chodron (obviously): "When you learn to smile at your fear, to be with your fear, you become an authentic friend to yourself, and thereby develop confidence." How can you start making peace with your ever-present fears today?   We've got another huge storm headed our way today (Over. It.) so I figured that instead of griping about the weather again, I would instead celebrate stormy weather and dark, cloudy skies by sharing Rochelle Redfield's gorgeous "Confetti Skies" series. I love this collection of paintings and I love the inspiration behind them; Redfield says that they were inspired by "Hudson Valley skies and personal moments of stormy optimism." I think we could all use some confetti in our stormy skies and during tumultuous times, don't you? Because there's always something to celebrate, even when things get dark (or you have another nor'easter headed your way, haha). You can view some of my favorite paintings from this series below and can see more work by Redfield on her website...       So great, right? Don't you love them!?!? Unfortunately the paintings above are all sold, but Redfield does do commissions and I'm sure she could paint you a custom confetti sky if you need one (don't we all?). Learn more about Rochelle Redfield here. For my fellow East Coasters, I hope you all stay warm + safe during this week's storm! Keep your fingers crossed for me...Charlie Mae + I are supposed to be flying to Knoxville tomorrow morning for a fun weekend with friends (argh). And that brings me to a programming note: if we do make it out, there will be no Simple Joys of the Week on Friday so that I can be totally present with my friends on our short trip. I'll be back at it on Monday ;)   This past weekend, Ben and I finally pulled together all of our tax documents to send to our accountant (Tax Preparer = best investment EVER). As we were looking back at our finances for 2017--and comparing them to our 2016 and 2015 finances--I was once again reminded that having a baby has affected our finances in a BIG way. Before you have kids, people you that "kids are expensive" and that your financial situation will change once you're parents; but just like everything else when it comes it parenting, it's really hard to truly understand what this means until you're experiencing it firsthand. It's like the sleep deprivation that comes along with parenting: it sounds doable and exaggerated before you've ever dealt with it ("How could it possibly be that bad?") and then you realize that everyone was right and it is HELL ON EARTH AND NO HUMAN BEING SHOULD EVER HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT KIND OF TORTURE ON A NIGHTLY BASIS. But I digress. My point is that it doesn't seem like your finances should change that drastically when you have just one little baby (or toddler) but for us, they really have. And one of the main reasons for this is because I work for myself. As I've explained here many times before, when you work for yourself in the way that I do (in a primarily service-based area of business), for the most part, you only make money if you're working. Meaning, if I'm not able to sit down at my desk and "clock-in", or go into a studio and teach a yoga class or workshop, I don't get paid. My income is variable and is mostly based on how much I can get done in a day, a week, or a month. My schedule is also variable which allows me to work when it's most convenient and scale back when needed. Because of this, our current financial situation is VERY different than it was at this time two years ago; we have to pay much more attention to when and how we're spending our money now, we're not putting as much away into savings each month, and things just feel much "tighter" now than they ever did before we were parents. But this change in our finances is so much bigger than the statement "kids are expensive" would have you believe. It's not just about the child care costs or the cost of diapers and clothes--although sure, those things play into the total cost of having a child--but more about the hidden costs of having a baby and especially the hidden costs associated with being self-employed and having a flexible work schedule (blessing and a curse). Here's how some of these hidden costs have affected us over the past 18 months: When you have a child and work for yourself, you immediately experience a huge decrease in the amount of time you are able to work (even if you have child care!) and thus, your income decreases accordingly. I know this sound obvious but here's the reason it's a "hidden" cost: I knew I wouldn't be able to work as much as I used to. I knew I would be scaling back. I planned for part-time childcare (vs. full-time) because I wanted to be home with my child some of the time, and I knew that would result in lost income. But what I didn't understand about being self-employed? Whenever things fall through, you're the one who is "available" to pick up the slack. So when Charlie Mae is sick, I'm the one who is home with her. When day care is closed because the owner's child is sick or because her power is out (which has happened twice in the past few weeks!), I'm the one who "takes the day off" to be with Charlie Mae because I'm the one who has the flexibility to make super last-minute changes to my day. Similarly, in addition to these uncontrollable lost work days that all parents deal with (but that those on salary still get paid for), I didn't expect that there would also be additional "controllable" but still desired lost work time. You all know that I love what I do and that I adore working, but I also adore spending time with my child and it's really important to me to be sure I do so every day. On some days--even if I'm slammed with work and could use every second of childcare possible--I pick her up early from daycare so that I can spend some quality time with her before I have to go teach in the evening. And despite the fact that my business (and stress levels) could definitely benefit from adding a fourth day of daycare each week (we currently only do 3), I won't do it because I want two days at home with my child. I couldn't have anticipated how my strong desire to spend time with Charlie Mae would result in a decrease in even more lost work time. Lastly, I've lost a lot of the time that I used to spend working in my mind, if not at my desk. For instance, I used to take Sayde on hour-long walks every day during which I would listen to podcasts and get business ideas, learn about current trends in my field, and get inspired. I also used to spend more time reading about business, doing continuing education, and taking e-courses. All of that is gone. I don't have the time to do any extras right now. When I walk Sayde, I'm also pushing a stroller and entertaining a toddler and my mind is full. This also results in lost income. When you don't have as much time to work, you have to start outsourcing tasks that you used to do yourself, and thus, have more business [and household] expenses. Although this is related to the above points, it's also slightly different. When I thought about the expenses related to having a child, I didn't think about that fact that I would have so much less time to devote to both business and household tasks and therefore, would have to pay someone to do the things that I used to do. For instance, in the past 18 months I've had to rely much more on Sara, who works for me at Starr Struck Design Studio, than in years past. She is a Godsend and has SAVED me in so many ways since having Charlie Mae, but it's also much more expensive to pay an employee for more hours of work. Similarly, because my precious "free time" needs to be spent working, we've had to pay to outsource more of our household tasks: we sent Sayde away to a very expensive doggy training bootcamp because we didn't have the time to go to weekly trainings ourselves and knew we had to train her. We upped our house cleanings to 2x per month because we simply couldn't stay on top of the cleaning ourselves. We've hired someone to do a bunch of home improvement projects that we might have attempted on our own in the past but knew we would NEVER get to now. We've had to get a lot more takeout in the past 18 months because there have been many nights when neither of us were home to cook. As you can imagine, all of this really adds up. The right part-time child care situation is harder to find than expected, and you can spend tons of money figuring out the best situation for your family. When I was pregnant, I thought I had the child care thing figured out. I had hired someone to come to our house and watch Charlie Mae at home while I worked and I knew it was going to be perfect. Spoiler alert: it was not. As I've mentioned many times before here on the blog, I spent the first 6 months of Charlie Mae's life paying people to watch my child as I sat in my office, paralyzed, and listened to her cry. Then when working from home didn't work, I spent precious child care hours driving back and forth from the local library--working in 1 hour increments--so that I wasn't in the house and she wouldn't smell me, but so that I could still rush home and breastfeed her when needed (she would never take a bottle). In the beginning we bled money as I paid people for hours and hours of child care during which I got little-to-no work done, hoping that one day my child would get used to that person and the lost money would be worth it. Eventually, we found an in-home daycare that worked much better for Charlie Mae (and got her out of the house and away from me, which is what we needed), but even that took a while to adjust to and meant many, many months of short, half-days of daycare (even though I was paying for full-days). The hours of unused childcare that we have paid for in Charlie Mae's 18 months on this Earth is kind of horrifying. I had no idea that this could possibly happen before I was a parent. Sleep deprivation affects your productivity and when your productivity affects your bottom line, you feel your child's Sleep Regressions in your bank account. While every parents' productivity is affected by sleep deprivation, this doesn't matter as much when you work for a big company with tons of employees. When you work for yourself, if you're sleep deprived, your business becomes sleep deprived, too. You're not as motivated. You're not as inspired. You have less energy to do the things that keep you healthy and clear-headed, like working out and eating healthy. All of this affects your ability to work efficiently with minimal errors. If you're lucky (like I am), you have an amazing employee or assistant who can ease some of this burden, pick up the slack when-needed, and catch your mistakes, but it's still a big [internal] business issue. But wait--there's more! Here are a few of the un-hidden, out-in-the-open costs of having a child when you're self-employed that I think are worth mentioning in a brief roll-call: You don't have paid maternity leave, you don't have personal sick days (but are sick ALL of the time now that your child is bringing home all of the germs), you don't get paid vacation days, and you don't have any of the employer perks that some parents get, like discounts on specific daycares or products or travel. And don't forget about the cost of health insurance, which many self-employed people have to buy themselves! While this issue didn't affect me personally because Ben works for the state, I should also mention that many self-employed parents have to buy their own health insurance. And often this health insurance isn't as good as an employer-provided policy would be or has a higher deductible, which means that in these cases medical costs (like birth, pediatrician's appointments, follow-up OB-GYN visits, etc) can be way more expensive. I know some self-employed people who had to pay upwards of 10k out of pocket for their hospital births [with insurance]. Unacceptable! So yeah, the struggle is real. I'd obviously do it again in a heartbeat and any financial hardship is totally worth it in my book, but as you know, I think it's important to talk about these things. And I also think it's important to remind all of my fellow parents that there isn't an easy or right answer when it comes to working (or not working) and parenting. My flexible, work-from-home, part-time stay-at-home-parent situation might sound like the ideal, but I'm here to assure you that while I'm very grateful for this life situation, it is not without it's own set of challenges + drawbacks, and it has definitely resulted in a loss of income for our household. Parenting, huh? Such a wonderful challenge.   When it comes to the past few weeks, I feel like our household has been limping to the finish a lot lately. This week was no different--between the storm that knocked out our power and whatever sleep issue Charlie Mae is going through right now (it's always something as a parent!)--we just barely made it to Friday. But we made it! Hallelujah! That's something worth celebrating. Oh, and I'm sorry that I missed Wednesday's blog post...we had no power or wifi and I just couldn't find a way to make it happen with Charlie Mae home + no internet. Such is life. But enough about that (Debbie Downer much?), lets look at the positive side of the past week! Here are some of the simple, sensory joys that made me smile over the past 7 days. What brought you happiness? HEAR: "Walk Into a Storm" by The Lone Bellow I haven't had a ton of time (or power) to listen to music this week, but when I did get a chance to listen, I was listening to this album by The Lone Bellow. I was in love with this band back in 2015, but then kind of forgot about them until my dad mentioned their latest album last week; I immediately started listening + we picked up right where we left off--they're so great! You can listen to their newest album, "Walk Into a Storm," here. SEE: Power coming back on! When you've been out of power for over 24 hours and it suddenly pops back on, it is the biggest relief EVER. It's amazing how much we take electricity for granted and how much we rely on it to do everything--from making toast, to helping our children sleep (hello, sound machines!), to drying our hair. We are all out of sorts for those cold 24 hours in our powerless house, and I've never been more excited to see the lights come back on. Phew. TASTE: Harvest Snaps Snapea Crisps These little snacks are SO delicious! I'm sure you've had them, but if you haven't and you're a salty, crunchy snack-loving person (who isn't?), get ye to a grocery store stat and pick some up. We bought a jumbo bag last weekend so Charlie Mae and I have been crunching on them all week and we're basically addicted. They count as veggies, right!!? ;) SMELL: Coffee I don't even drink coffee anymore, but I still love the scent of a freshly-brewed pot in the morning and have gotten used to having that smell in the house every day. When we lost power and Ben wasn't able to make his AM coffee, the house felt emptier somehow, and I found myself missing that morning scent. It was lovely when it returned on Thursday morning; all felt right in the world again. TOUCH: Hot fire in the fireplace During our power outage, we were extremely thankful for our fireplace. It was the first time we've ever used it out of total necessity (as opposed to just enjoyment) and it was a life-saver--especially with a toddler around. And yes, despite the annoyance of not having power, there is something super special about total quiet and no electricity with a fire burning. [But I'll still take power any day!] And that's it for this week, thank goodness! Now I'm off to try and catch up on all of the work that I'm behind on because of our two powerless and internet-less days. I hope you have a productive Friday and relaxing, warm, stress-free weekend! ;)   While assisting one of my students in savasana the other day, I went to gently massage her ears (it's a thing, I promise!) and without even thinking about it or looking down at her ears, my hands moved around her cartilage piercing to avoid pulling on her earring. In that moment I realized that despite not even knowing this student's name, I knew her body so well that I subconsciously knew what to avoid when touching her head. And this got me thinking about my regular students' bodies--and in particular, about my knowledge and awareness of my regular students' bodies. I know this might sound kind of creepy, but I swear that it's not. It's clinical. As a yoga teacher, part of my job is to study and remember my students' bodies, and to touch their bodies while teaching them. When you look at someone's body 1-3 times per week for a few years in a row, and when you assist someone in the same poses time and time again, you start to know his or her body very well. For instance, I know where my regular students are injured (or have been injured in the past), and I know which arm she favors in chaturanga, which of his elbows bows out in down dog, which wrist she got surgery on, the location of the moles and freckles on their backs. I know that he hates hip openers but does them anyway, and that she always does headstand at the end of class, whether or not I offer it. I know that he always struggles with balance, that she always goes too deep into extended side angle, that she likes an assist in half moon to help her lift out of her hip. I don't always know what my students do for a living, or in some cases, what his or her name is (ugh, I hate when I don't know names); I don't always know if he has kids or if she just moved here or what kind of life she has when she's not on her yoga mat, but I know her body, his tendencies, her scent, his intense facial expressions. When my students are on their mats, they speak a subtle physical language with their bodies. Their muscles tell me about their work stress and their relationships. Their skeletons tell me stories of past trauma. Their feet tell me about their journeys, their hands about what they create. While I may not actually know a student--may not have said more than a few words to her outside of class--I often feel like I know that student on a much deeper level than our our quick hellos and goodbyes would suggest. I may not know much about her, but I've been studying her body while she is on her yoga mat, week-in and week-out, and that has taught me something about who she is as a person. It's an honor to be a yoga teacher. It's an honor to be able to speak the language of the body with yogis. I have so much to learn (and always will), but my students and their bodies are my best teachers and they continue to teach me every day. To the bodies who come to my class: thank you for tutoring me in this physical language and helping me to become more fluent in it over the years. And if you're up for it, don't be afraid to tell me a little something about yourself the next time you're in class. I don't always ask because I like to give you your space and let you be anonymous (in case that's what you want), but I'd love to learn more about you--over + beyond what your body has to say (which is a lot!).  PS. Thanks so much to everyone who completed my reader survey! Your feedback is super helpful. The winner of the giveaway is Lacey H.! Lacey, check your inbox for details on redeeming your $50 :)
 Woah you guys, where did this week go? I've been teaching my "Juice + Loose" AM Yoga Bootcamp this week, so have taught a yoga class first thing in the morning (every day) and then again in the evening (3 of the past 4 days) and it's been awesome but it has made this week fly by at an alarming speed. Also, I'm tired! But in a good yoga + work way, not in a I-have-a-sick-child-so-am-not-sleeping way ;) How was your week? I hope wonderful + full of simple joys! Here are a few of the sensory pleasures that made me smile over the past 7 days... HEAR: "Painter (Valentine)" by Lapsley This song!! It's so good! It's on my March class playlist and it's one of my favorite songs that I've come across in a while. It's a great yoga song, too (IMHO). You can listen here. SEE: AM Yoga Bootcamp yogis Teaching a 6:30am class every morning has been really refreshing and fun. Also, I've been super inspired by everyone who signed up and came to class every day despite the power outages and crazy weather we've had over the past week. It's been really beautiful teaching as the sun comes up and watching these yogis start their days by moving, breathing, and stretching. I think I need to find some 6:30am classes of my own/to start taking myself! TASTE: Ginger Tumeric Steamer from Sunbird I went to this fabulous local coffee shop (that I never get to anymore) for a meeting yesterday and this drink knocked my socks off. They had me at "Ginger Tumeric," but when I saw that it was also a hot steamer I was 100% sold. If I could drink this beverage every day I think I would be a better person. So delicious! SMELL: Anything/everything because my sense of smell has been gone for a week (!!!) When your child keeps bringing home new sick germs from daycare every day, you inevitably get sick over and over again, too. As Charlie Mae got better last week, I got worse, and had to get on antibiotics for a sinus infection over the weekend. Bleh. Along with this infection I lost ALL sense of smell + taste and just started getting them back yesterday. It felt so good to smell and taste again! I missed these senses! TOUCH: Fisher-Price Little People If you have a toddler I'm sure you know what I'm talking about here, but in case you don't, Little People are exactly what they sound like--little plastic people with little plastic worlds that kids love (or at least my kid loves). Charlie Mae has quickly started amassing a collection of Little People and she has a blast playing with them, thus, so do I. But really, it's adorable watching her interact with theses toys and playing with these people [with her] reminds me SO much of the games that I played when I was a child...we have fun ;) And there you have it! Thanks so much to everyone who has joined me for my AM classes this week + to everyone who has wished me a happy blogiversary and/or filled out my reader survey over the past few days ;) If you haven't entered my giveaway yet, you have until Sunday night to do so! All you have to do is answer a few questions about yourself + the blog. The link is here. Have a great weekend!  |
HELLO!I'm Mary Catherine, a Cape Cod-based yoga teacher, painter, designer, writer, mom, and list-maker extraordinaire. My goal is to inspire you to start living a more creative, simple, joyful, + purposeful life.
{Learn more + read my story} 
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