CrossFit couples counseling: Sledgehammer Strikes. Ben on the left, me on the right.
In our household (er, apartmenthold), the term "CrossFit Widow" is thrown around a lot. Mostly by me. Well, only by me. But, I've found that this term perfectly describes what I've gone through in the 4+ years since my husband, Ben, has been doing CrossFit--and especially in the 2+ years that he's been doing it more competitively.
Here's the thing: I love CrossFit. I really do! I think it is super fun and it's an amazing workout and a perfect yang to yoga's yin and all of that (read more about why I do it here)--but my love for CrossFit has NOTHING on Ben's love for it. I go to class, workout, come home, and I'm done. Ben goes to class early to do an extra-long "mobility session," then he does class, then he stays after class for 30-40 minutes doing something extra or working on a specific skill, then he comes home, and proceeds to watch CrossFit videos on the iPad all night. Or if he's not watching a video, he's reading a CrossFit blog, or the CrossFit journal, or checking out other CrossFit gyms and what workouts they're doing, or writing down workout plans for the next 6-weeks, or recording what he did that day.
Our apartment is covered in little scraps of paper with weekly workout schedules on them. We have a set of kettlebells in our dining room (no joke! picture below!), we have a rowing machine in our bedroom (no joke, picture below!), and the corner of our living room is filled with an abmat, "slamball," medicine ball, foam roller, etc. (again, picture below). He also recently asked if I thought we could fit a squat rack and a few weights in our 975 sq. ft. apartment. Ha!
So yeah, I call myself a CrossFit Widow. At times, it feels like I've lost him completely to his love for CrossFit. Maybe I'm being a *bit* dramatic, but CrossFit IS the other woman in his life, and I know that I'm not the only person out there who feels this way.
Therefore, today I've compiled a list of 10 tips for others who may be in the same--or a similar--boat. I hope that by sharing the things I've learned over the past 5 years, I'll be able to save some of you from the many disagreements that we've had over our CrossFit love triangle...
Here's the thing: I love CrossFit. I really do! I think it is super fun and it's an amazing workout and a perfect yang to yoga's yin and all of that (read more about why I do it here)--but my love for CrossFit has NOTHING on Ben's love for it. I go to class, workout, come home, and I'm done. Ben goes to class early to do an extra-long "mobility session," then he does class, then he stays after class for 30-40 minutes doing something extra or working on a specific skill, then he comes home, and proceeds to watch CrossFit videos on the iPad all night. Or if he's not watching a video, he's reading a CrossFit blog, or the CrossFit journal, or checking out other CrossFit gyms and what workouts they're doing, or writing down workout plans for the next 6-weeks, or recording what he did that day.
Our apartment is covered in little scraps of paper with weekly workout schedules on them. We have a set of kettlebells in our dining room (no joke! picture below!), we have a rowing machine in our bedroom (no joke, picture below!), and the corner of our living room is filled with an abmat, "slamball," medicine ball, foam roller, etc. (again, picture below). He also recently asked if I thought we could fit a squat rack and a few weights in our 975 sq. ft. apartment. Ha!
So yeah, I call myself a CrossFit Widow. At times, it feels like I've lost him completely to his love for CrossFit. Maybe I'm being a *bit* dramatic, but CrossFit IS the other woman in his life, and I know that I'm not the only person out there who feels this way.
Therefore, today I've compiled a list of 10 tips for others who may be in the same--or a similar--boat. I hope that by sharing the things I've learned over the past 5 years, I'll be able to save some of you from the many disagreements that we've had over our CrossFit love triangle...
 Living room... |  Dining room... |  Bedroom. |
A How-To Guide for CrossFit Widows/Widowers: 10 Tips for a Better Relationship
1. If your partner does CrossFit (or starts doing CrossFit) and you don't already do it, start. Even if you just go every once in a while, understanding CrossFit and being able to talk about it with them will do major things for your relationship. I can't imagine what would happen if I didn't do CrossFit (no conversation at the dinner table?). This will save your relationship! And I'm only half-kidding when I say this...
2. Every once in a while, watch a CrossFit video with your partner. It makes them really happy when you do this.
3. If your partner wants to buy equipment that isn't *too* expensive and fits in your home, let them. Honestly, it's one more reason for them to stick around/workout nearby, and it can be a really fun way to do workouts together.
4. Learn the names of the previous CrossFit Games winners. If you don't, you'll often feel very left out of conversations with friends (or, won't understand when your partner names his/her equipment after people...).
5. Cheer them on when they're doing really well, but when they're not doing well or are frustrated, don't cheer them on. I learned this the hard way.
6. Always "ooh" and "ahh" at all of their tales of PRs, amazing newly-acquired skills, pictures on blogs, and big muscles (hehe!). They love it and it brings you closer if they can constantly talk about CrossFit around the house.
7. Take lots of pictures of them doing CrossFit. Post them in a public place. CrossFitters LOVE seeing pictures of themselves lifting weights or jumping on boxes.
8. From the beginning, set up parameters re: how long a workout can last on the weekends. Say, "please be back in 2 hours so that we can spend time with each other." Trust me on this one--if you don't do this, their weekend workouts will often take up the entire day. This is not a joke, it has happened to me many, many times.
9. Buy them CrossFit Reebok or Lululemon gear. It makes them really happy and reminds them that you're around, and that you'd love to hang out with them whenever they're done CrossFitting ;)
10. Whatever you do, don't out-CrossFit them. I've never done this, so don't know what would happen, but if I became even more into CrossFit than Ben, I think the world would explode. I wouldn't dare try it (and honestly, really don't want to).
So there you have it! hope my fellow-CrossFit Widows/Widowers find this helpful!
If you're looking for more CrossFit relationship advice, check out my past post, "10 Ways to Prepare Yourself for Dating/Marrying/Becoming a CrossFitter."
Namaste!
Mary Catherine
2. Every once in a while, watch a CrossFit video with your partner. It makes them really happy when you do this.
3. If your partner wants to buy equipment that isn't *too* expensive and fits in your home, let them. Honestly, it's one more reason for them to stick around/workout nearby, and it can be a really fun way to do workouts together.
4. Learn the names of the previous CrossFit Games winners. If you don't, you'll often feel very left out of conversations with friends (or, won't understand when your partner names his/her equipment after people...).
5. Cheer them on when they're doing really well, but when they're not doing well or are frustrated, don't cheer them on. I learned this the hard way.
6. Always "ooh" and "ahh" at all of their tales of PRs, amazing newly-acquired skills, pictures on blogs, and big muscles (hehe!). They love it and it brings you closer if they can constantly talk about CrossFit around the house.
7. Take lots of pictures of them doing CrossFit. Post them in a public place. CrossFitters LOVE seeing pictures of themselves lifting weights or jumping on boxes.
8. From the beginning, set up parameters re: how long a workout can last on the weekends. Say, "please be back in 2 hours so that we can spend time with each other." Trust me on this one--if you don't do this, their weekend workouts will often take up the entire day. This is not a joke, it has happened to me many, many times.
9. Buy them CrossFit Reebok or Lululemon gear. It makes them really happy and reminds them that you're around, and that you'd love to hang out with them whenever they're done CrossFitting ;)
10. Whatever you do, don't out-CrossFit them. I've never done this, so don't know what would happen, but if I became even more into CrossFit than Ben, I think the world would explode. I wouldn't dare try it (and honestly, really don't want to).
So there you have it! hope my fellow-CrossFit Widows/Widowers find this helpful!
If you're looking for more CrossFit relationship advice, check out my past post, "10 Ways to Prepare Yourself for Dating/Marrying/Becoming a CrossFitter."
Namaste!
Mary Catherine
